


Life's Exam

by turmeric



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Drama, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-04-17 04:58:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 64,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4653270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turmeric/pseuds/turmeric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sunggyu's first time teaching at a high school brings him more surprises than he ever expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Day

It was Sunggyu’s first day of work at his new school and as he walked up to the school gates, in his neatly pressed grey suit and paisley tie, the nerves built up into a knot in his stomach.

Of course he was nervous that it was his first day, but he was more nervous because he had never taught at a senior high school before. He was used to working with younger students and had heard horrible things from other teachers who had worked in high schools. But he took a deep breath and brushed it off. This was his job—his responsibility, it wasn’t as if he could run away. Kim Sunggyu never runs away.

So he marched forward across the campus past bustling students in navy blazers and khaki pants and skirts. He stopped when he finally reached his classroom’s door. He was going to be the homeroom teacher for a sophomore class. Not the most exciting thing ever, but it paid the bills. He pushed open the door with gusto, only to be met with an empty, bare classroom. His heart thudded wildly in shock.

“ _…What?”_ He looked around the room in a panic. Where were the students? They should’ve all been sitting and waiting for him. His mind went crazy wondering if this was some sort of prank. Boycott the class to embarrass the teacher? Well if that was their plan, it was working.

He hurried into the hall, in search of _what_ he didn’t know, but maybe he hoped some sign would present itself that this wasn’t a prank. But then he noticed the classroom number above the door…and it was the wrong one. He was supposed to be in room 3, but this was room 8.

“ _Ah…”_ He coughed lightly, eyes shifting back and forth to make sure no one caught his embarrassing mistake. No one was around anyways, so he sighed in relief and rushed off to room 3.

Thankfully, room 3 _was_ full of students sitting and waiting for him. They all quieted immediately as he entered. He hurried in, dropping his bag on the desk and looking them all over.

“Um,” He cleared his throat. “Hi. I’ll be your homeroom teacher for the year, Kim sunsaeng-nim.” He wrote down his name on the blackboard behind him in dusty white chalk. He hated chalk boards. He kind of wished the school had whiteboards. Those were easier to clean and they don’t get your hands all messy and dry.

“Was it really necessary to write that on the board?” A boy near the back of the class suddenly called out. He had one long thin arm raised in the air, and a playful expression in his large doe eyes.

Sunggyu tried to ignore him and got out some paperwork with the lesson plan.

“What’s your first name Ssaem?” The same boy, Lee Sungyeol called out again.

Sunggyu turned to him. “You don’t need to know that. You just need to call me sunsaeng-nim—.”

“But there’s like fifty teachers with that name in this school! I’ll get confused.”

Sunggyu pursed his lips in annoyance, eyeing the noisy boy who got a pencil thrown at him from a dark haired boy two seats to his right. But then he noticed the seat between the two boys was vacant.

“Hm? Is someone missing?” He asked the class.

And just like clockwork the door slid open and in came an attractive male student. He had dark hair, eyes that could almost rival Sunggyu’s in the size department and a pointy little nose. He had his bag over his shoulder and his blazer was unbuttoned, revealing his un-tucked white uniform shirt. His tie hung loosely around his neck.

He barely regarded Sunggyu and sat down between the two boys. He fist bumped the noisy boy and ruffled up the hair of the other dark haired one who smiled shyly.

Everyone’s attention was on him.

Sunggyu paused for a moment, staring at the new student in awe. But then he regained himself and tapped a ruler on the desk to snap their attention back to him.

“You.” He pointed his ruler at the new student. “You’re late.”

The boy didn’t even look at him. He had headphones on and was staring out the window. Sunggyu chucked the ruler on the table and marched down the aisle. The students all turned their heads back as he passed them. He stopped at the boy’s desk and tapped on it.

“You’re late. What do you have to say for yourself?”

The boy completely ignored him, eyes focused on some birds singing on a tree outside.

Sunggyu suddenly yanked his headphones off, and cupped his chin, earning a series of hushed gasps and whispers from the other students.

 “Look at me when I’m talking to you.” Sunggyu stared down the student with an authoritative gaze. He eyed his name tag. “Nam Woohyun…so that _is_ your name.” He muttered the last part under his breath.

Woohyun wouldn’t meet the teacher’s eyes at all, and he hoped the burning in his cheeks didn’t give him away. Unfortunately for him Sunggyu at least seemed to notice and removed his hand and returned back to the front of the class, wordlessly.

-

After class, Sunggyu left first and then the students all rushed to talk to their friends before their next class.

“I can’t believe that teacher thinks he can mess with you.” Sungyeol snorted as he walked beside Woohyun and the kid who threw a pencil at him before, Myungsoo.

“You shouldn’t mess with this new guy.” Myungsoo warned. “I think he’s serious.”

Woohyun was unusually quiet, and seemingly spaced out. But unfortunately the other two didn’t notice and continued chattering as they walked ahead.

Woohyun couldn’t stop the heat in his cheeks, or the nervous throbbing in his chest. He was so caught up in his thoughts, that he didn’t even notice the hand reaching out and grabbing him into an abandoned area behind the staircase.

His eyes widened, upon seeing his new homeroom teacher standing there.

“You…you lied to me.” Sunggyu was staring at him, horrified.

Woohyun looked down, shamefully. “I…I just—.”

“You told me you were in university! What were you doing in that bar that time?” Sunggyu questioned, biting his lip. His eyes shifted around nervously, as if he were afraid they would be caught. “You—.”

“My brother owns that bar…he was supposed to give me a ride home that day.” Woohyun admitted.

“Well that certainly didn’t happen, did it?” Sunggyu muttered. “This is my fault.” He massaged his forehead. “I’m so stupid. How could I believe you just like that? It was so obvious you were underage—.”

“I’m sorry.” Woohyun clutched onto Sunggyu’s shirt worriedly. “I…I just really wanted to talk to you and I—I felt something real. With you I—.”

“Stop!” Sunggyu clamped his hands over his ears. “You’re sixteen! Are you crazy? I can’t…I’ll be arrested.”

“But didn’t you feel it too?” Woohyun’s voice trembled, and his eyes watered as he clutched desperately to Sunggyu’s sleeve. “Hyung...didn’t—?”

“Don’t—.” Sunggyu pushed him away. “Don’t call me that…its sunsaeng-nim. If it’s not about class matters…please don’t talk to me anymore. And please pretend like we’ve never met from now on.”

“No…” Woohyun shook his head. He was struggling to hold back tears. He couldn’t cry in a place like this. No definitely not. “Please don’t do this…”

“Don’t…” Sunggyu didn’t dare look him in the eyes. If he did, he would probably lose his resolve. “Don’t be late for class anymore.”


	2. First Meeting

Sunggyu stared out the window at the kids playing on the soccer field—laughing, joking around. He couldn’t find the one kid he was looking for though.

He recalled Woohyun said he enjoyed soccer and was at university on a sports scholarship. That’s what he had told Sunggyu, but that was obviously a lie. Sunggyu guessed the liking sports thing could be a lie as well.

It was a month ago when he had first met Woohyun in his older brother’s bar. Of course at the time he didn’t know it belonged to his brother. All he knew was that it was summer and he was on vacation since school was out and he had nothing better to do. Sunggyu was getting to that age where all his friends and peers were getting married and starting families.

And then there was Sunggyu.

Lonely, single, confused Sunggyu.

Though confused wasn’t the best term—perhaps lost would be more accurate. Sure he had a job, but he never felt anything about it. Sure he dated here and there, but he never felt anything towards any of the women he went out with. Basically he had become numb. He didn’t even remember what emotions really were and how to feel them strongly again.

So there he was at the corner of the dingy bar, drink in hand. He told himself he wasn’t going to get drunk. He would just put enough alcohol in his system so that he could easily fall asleep that night without replaying the last few dreadfully dull and depressing years of his life in painfully vivid flashbacks.

“The reminders of a wasted life.” He muttered to himself and snorted bitterly. He leaned an elbow on the counter and looked around the small dark bar for a moment. Maybe he could find someone to make the night go a little faster. Unfortunately there didn’t seem to be many attractive women around, or many people at all. It was a weekday after all and not everyone had the summer off like he did.

He sighed softly and stared at his drink again.

“ _I guess I should head home.”_

He got up to leave and stumbled a bit in his steps. He figured he must’ve drunk more than he thought and clutched his woozy head.

“ _How much did I drink anyways?”_ He wondered hazily as he clumsily walked towards the exit. However, he didn’t seem to notice the figure standing in front of him and smacked right into him. He ended up almost knocking the person off their feet.

“Sorry.” He heard a low mutter from the boy—Woohyun who past right by him. But Sunggyu was a little angry that this guy (he assumed was younger than him) was being so rude and not having any respect for someone older than him.

“Yah,” He grabbed the boy’s arm in a drunken daze. “What the hell? Where’re your manners brat?”

“Eh? Excuse me, but I said sorry.” Woohyun frowned.

“Tch trying to be funny, are you?” Sunggyu slurred his words, leaning a little closer to him.

Woohyun backed away a little, noticing the red coloring Sunggyu’s cheeks. “I think you’re drunk sir—.”

“Sir? _Sir_?!” Sunggyu exploded, grabbing the collar of his shirt. “Yah, listen here you! I’m not that old ok?! I’ll get married when I want to! Get off my back about it!”

Woohyun blinked. “Umm…ok?”

“Its not like I haven’t looked! They’re all boring and I…I suck. Ok! I suck!”

Woohyun noticed people in the bar giving them strange looks and attempted to pull away from Sunggyu but the older man was relentless and even dragged Woohyun back to the corner of the bar he was sitting at before.

“I-I’m sure you’re great.” Woohyun looked around awkwardly. He didn’t know who this strange man was and he didn’t want to know. He just wanted to go home and tend to the bruise on his rib that he had gotten earlier in the day when he was kicked in the gut.

“Great?” Sunggyu snorted. “ _Great_? Yeah if I’m so great how come I haven’t gotten any in months? I must be so great I repel all women or something. God I need to get laid.”

Woohyun stared at him, slightly shocked by the sudden turn in the (mostly one-sided) conversation.

“Um that’s not really any of my business—.” Sunggyu suddenly pulled him closer, his face so close to Woohyun’s that Woohyun almost choked on the alcohol on his breath.

“Do you know what its like to wake up with no one beside you on the bed every single morning?” Sunggyu’s voice was shaky now and Woohyun sort of felt bad for him. “Ah well I guess you wouldn’t know about that kid.” Sunggyu leaned back on his stool against the bar counter.

Woohyun’s face instantly fell. He didn’t like what Sunggyu was insinuating—that he was just some dumb inexperienced kid or something.

“I-I’m not a kid.” He muttered. “I’m…” He looked around the bar. He realized that Sunggyu probably thought he was old enough to be here. He didn’t really know why but he wanted Sunggyu to look at him as an adult. “I’m in university!”

Sunggyu raised an eyebrow. “What? First year?”

“T-Twenty.” Woohyun lied. Sunggyu narrowed his eyes on him.

“Seriously?”

“Why?” Woohyun folded his arms. “You don’t believe me? Well a lot of people _have_ said I look young for my age so…” He attempted a confident, yet casual look and leaned an arm over the bar. But Sunggyu merely snorted.

“Whatever.”

The next day, Woohyun was surprised to see Sunggyu sitting in the same corner of the bar again. This time he was wearing a simple white v-neck and faded jeans and Woohyun didn’t understand why he couldn’t stop staring.

He bit his lip, wondering if he should walk over and talk to him. But then he quickly shook his head. He couldn’t…he already lied to the other man once. Besides it wasn’t like anything could come of it, once Sunggyu learned the truth. So he kept his head down and moved to the back to find Boohyun, his brother.

“Uh…hey!” Woohyun immediately stopped and turned to see Sunggyu awkwardly waving to him. He walked a little too fast to Sunggyu’s corner.

“O-Oh its you.”

“You’re here again today?” Sunggyu smiled a little. “It’s not good for a college student to be at the bar every night you know? You should be studying.”

“Its summer vacation.” Woohyun chuckled and sat down beside him.

“Ah…right.” Sunggyu nodded dumbly. “I’m a teacher I should’ve known that.” He muttered mostly to himself, but Woohyun still managed to hear him.

“You’re a teacher?”

“Yeah…” Sunggyu rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s why I’m here every night. Its not like I’m some jobless drunkard or something.”

“I didn’t think that.” Woohyun simply answered.

Sunggyu awkwardly nodded, leaning his elbows on the counter, staring into his glass. But he couldn’t help but feel Woohyun’s eyes on him and looked up, turning to him. Woohyun, however merely stared somewhat amazedly at him like he had suddenly grown wings or an extra head. Something about the shine in Woohyun’s eyes—it made Sunggyu’s chest ache for something he felt like he had lost a long time ago.

Something beautiful—innocence, youth, he wasn’t sure what exactly.

Sunggyu crinkled his brows. “So uh…what did you say you were studying in college?”

Woohyun snapped out of his daze, lips parting. “Uh—.”

Suddenly someone changed the song on the old style juke box in the corner of the bar and Sunggyu’s eyes lit up.

“This song…” He murmured.

“Isn’t this a Taylor Swift song?” Woohyun chuckled.

“E-Enchanted!” Sunggyu blurted out and then gasped. Woohyun stared at him with a raised brow, and Sunggyu quickly felt his cheeks heating with color and averted his eyes.

He expected Woohyun to laugh and make fun of him. It was almost too easy for a kid like Woohyun to do so. But instead Woohyun smiled softly and lightly touched Sunggyu’s forearm.

“I kind of like this song too.”

Sunggyu met his gaze, noticing the sparkle in Woohyun’s eyes.

“The night is flawless, don’t you let it go, I’m wonderstruck~” Woohyun quietly sang along to the song and then chuckled from embarrassment. Sunggyu liked the way Woohyun laughed, with his eyes little crescents and lines forming around his mouth.

“My thoughts will echo your name,” Sunggyu started to sing along softly, causing Woohyun to turn to him. “Until I see you again, these are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon—.”

“I was enchanted to meet you~” Woohyun joined in and they both smiled brightly at each other and continued singing the lyrics quietly together.

“Please don’t be in love with someone else,” The leaned closer to each other, elbows on the bar counter, like they were whispering a secret to each other. “Please don’t have somebody waiting on you~”

-

Sunggyu sighed softly as he recalled the memories of spending time with Woohyun at the bar. He wouldn’t admit it but those summer nights made him feel more alive than he had in years. He had felt like everyday, for once, there was something to look forward to—seeing that college student at the bar and bonding over their questionable music tastes with each other without being judged. Maybe it would have been ok if it had stayed like that. Maybe Sunggyu wouldn’t feel so guilty if he had never taken it outside of the bar.

But it was far too late for maybes.

“Its nice, isn’t it?”

Sunggyu tore his eyes away from looking out the window or rather searching for Woohyun to finally notice the man standing next to him—short, bright friendly smile.

“Uh…” Sunggyu cleared his throat. He recognized the man as the physical education teacher, Jang Dongwoo. “E-Excuse me?”

“The kids.” Dongwoo chuckled. “They’re cute huh?” He looked out the window with a somewhat thoughtful look. “To have that innocence back…I guess its not possible for old guys like us huh?”

Sunggyu frowned. “I’m not that old.” The complete dissatisfaction on his face made Dongwoo laugh.

“Ok.” Dongwoo patted his shoulder. Sunggyu found it strange how he was already acting so comfortable with him when they barely knew each other. But for some reason when Dongwoo smiled it felt completely natural. He held that genuine-ness that resembled the students out on the field.

Sunggyu almost felt jealous. He had let go of any part of him that resembled the beauty of being a child. All that was left of him was bitterness and regret.

-

At the end of the school day, as the sun was setting Sunggyu strode across the campus towards the gates. He paused, noticing a student huddled in the corner at the gates. But as soon as he recognized the student— _that_ student, he immediately quickened his steps.

But Woohyun continued following him like an abandoned stray that attached itself to the first human to feed it.

Sunggyu stopped suddenly, causing Woohyun to crash into his back.

“What did I say earlier?” Sunggyu muttered, refusing to turn around.

There was a small pause. “…Y-You said not to talk to you, but I wasn’t, I was just walking—.”

“I said pretend like we’ve never met!” Sunggyu finally turned around. It ended up being a regretful decision because Woohyun’s expression made his heart ache. Woohyun was clutching onto the straps of his backpack, gaze lowered with worry and sadness. Sunggyu noticed Woohyun’s hands trembling as he held tighter to the black straps of his backpack. He wanted nothing more than to take Woohyun’s hands in his, to hug him, to do more.

He quickly shook the thought from his head—that very _wrong_ thought.

It was wrong.

Sunggyu hated that the first feelings he had in so long ended up being the wrong ones.

“Can we…” Woohyun met his eyes. “Can’t we just talk about—?”

“About what?” Sunggyu cut him off harshly. He hated being so cold and mean to Woohyun but he had no other choice. “You…what were you thinking?”

“I know…I’m sorry.” Woohyun sighed softly. “I shouldn’t have lied but—.”

“End of story. You shouldn’t have lied. That’s the end. There’re no ‘buts.’” Sunggyu interrupted, shoving his hands in his pockets to resist the urge to reach out and hold Woohyun. He softened his voice. “You…maybe you didn’t know any better. Its fine. But _I_ do. I can’t do this, ok?”

“But…” Woohyun reached out to touch his arm, but Sunggyu smacked his hand away far too quickly. Woohyun winced, like he had just been burned.

“Do you want me to be arrested?” Sunggyu hissed. “Don’t talk to me, don’t touch me, don’t even look at me.”

Woohyun’s lower lip trembled. “Hyung please, we can just—.”

“We can’t fucking do anything.” Sunggyu lost his senses for a moment and grabbed onto Woohyun’s hand that he had slapped away mere moments ago. Woohyun stared at their hands with a glint of hope and Sunggyu realized the stupidity of his reckless actions. He knew he should have released Woohyun’s hand immediately.

He _should_ have. But he didn’t.

He felt the guilt rise in his throat and his chest throb wildly as his thumb brushed the back of Woohyun’s hand.

It really wasn’t that big of a deal—it shouldn’t have been. But because it was with Woohyun it felt like such an intimate gesture.

Holding hands in a public place with a woman his own age would have been safe, normal, _empty_.

But just because it was Woohyun it was warm, exciting, lovely, _wrong_.

Sunggyu hated how the truth could sting so much.

“I’m sorry.” Sunggyu released their hands with enough remorse and guilt to last a lifetime.

Woohyun shook his head calmly. Sunggyu never understood how someone so much younger than him could sometimes make him feel like the immature one.

“Don’t be sorry.” Woohyun’s voice was hushed as if he understood that it was something wrong as well. “I…won’t bother you anymore.” He smiled sadly. “I’m sorry hyung— _sunsaeng-nim_. I’m sorry sunsaeng-nim.”


	3. First Sign

When Sunggyu returned to his dark, lonely apartment, he dropped his bag and shoes at the entrance way. He escaped into the bathroom, dropping to his knees in front of the toilet bowl and letting out the sheer disgust for himself that had been loading in his stomach all day. He coughed, spitting out his saliva, fingers gripping onto either side of the toilet bowl.

“ _Fuck_.”

-

He woke up the next morning in a zombie like state. There was a clanging of pans and rustling of plastic—the alarm clock he didn’t ask for.

He reluctantly climbed out of bed and hobbled into the kitchen. His mother was taking some produce out from a grocery bag and dumping dirty pots in the sink and just making a lot of noise in general.

“Oh!” She finally noticed her son standing there. “Yah, you can’t even clean your dishes and let them pile up like this?”

Sunggyu didn’t answer and made a beeline for the coffee maker, readily pouring himself a mug.

“And you barely have any vegetables or food.” Mrs. Kim sighed. “Sunggyu-yah…are you even eating ok?” She walked up behind him and rubbed his shoulder in an affectionate way. “This is why you should get married, and then you’ll have a wife to take care of you.”

Sunggyu loved his mother a lot. Even though she was rather conservative, she was a good woman, there was no doubt about that. And sometimes that just made Sunggyu feel worse that he was constantly letting her down. He wasn’t married or even looking for a wife, a daughter-in-law for his mother, even though he knew how much she wanted that. But he just couldn’t bring himself to do something like love someone just because he was supposed to.  He knew he wasn’t capable of that—of living a complete and utter lie.

Sunggyu turned to her, putting on a smile for her sake. “Its fine Mom. I’m ok.”

He left his mother to fix breakfast in the kitchen (on her insistence) and headed for the front door to retrieve the morning milk delivery. Maybe he was old fashioned, but he enjoyed the idea of waking up every morning to six fresh bottles of milk in a little crate waiting outside his door.

But when he opened the door, he found more than the milk bottles waiting for him.

Woohyun was crouched by the door, by the milk crate, shivering in nothing but a thin grey hoodie and black jersey shorts.

Sunggyu was almost too shocked to speak as he stared at the boy with wide eyes.

“…W-What are you doing here?!” He whispered, hoarsely, looking behind him to make sure his mother was still in the kitchen.

“I…” Woohyun bit his lip. “It was lonely…home—.”

“How is it less lonely sitting out here?!” Sunggyu hissed.

“Because…” Woohyun’s eyes bore into his, with so much vulnerability. “You’re on the other side of the door.”

Sunggyu felt sick to his stomach once again. He was about to tell Woohyun to leave, but then the boy sneezed and shuddered and Sunggyu couldn’t possibly leave him be. He grabbed Woohyun’s arm with one hand, and picked up the crate of milk with the other. He pulled him inside, craning his neck to check on his mother in the kitchen. Mrs. Kim had her back turned and was humming as she worked on something over the stove.

Sunggyu patted Woohyun’s shoulder and pointed across the narrow hall towards his bedroom. “Go wait in my bedroom and warm yourself up.” He whispered. Woohyun nodded and hurried down the hall. Sunggyu watched him shut the bedroom door, before hauling the milk crate into the kitchen.

“Milk’s here.” He told his mother, who turned around with a gleeful expression.

“Oh, how lovely.” She chirped and pulled out one of the bottles from the crate.

“Mom uh…I’m going to shower and then I have to go to work. You can just leave breakfast there and go.”

His mother immediately frowned and Sunggyu felt bad for shooing her away like that.

“I’m sorry…I just—.”

“No I understand. Work is important.” Mrs. Kim smiled softly. “Ah,” She clasped her hands together. “But keep tonight free ok? I have a nice little meeting set up for you.”

Sunggyu internally groaned. He usually would have instantly rejected his mother’s matchmaking attempts, but this time he figured it was best not to get in an argument and just agree so his mother would leave faster. That and maybe this girl could help him forget Woohyun.

“Ok, I’ll try.” Sunggyu assured her, much to his mother’s delight.

After his mother left, he almost tripped, as he ran to the bedroom. He practically broke the door down and Woohyun who was awkwardly sitting on the floor, looked up, startled.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Sunggyu shouted.

Woohyun smiled softly. “…I’m sorry.”

Sunggyu sighed. “Don’t say sorry while making that face.” He pulled a blanket off his bed and tossed it at Woohyun. “Don’t just sit there when you’re freezing cold.”

Woohyun wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and stared at the rug. The blanket was soft and it smelled like Sunggyu and it instantly made Woohyun feel warmer.

“Did you stay out there all night?” Sunggyu questioned. “And how did my mother not see you?”

“I…hid when I saw her coming.” Woohyun admitted sheepishly. “I...I remember you showed me a picture of her before so I figured that was probably her—.”

“What part of ‘don’t talk to me, don’t touch me, don’t even look at me’ did you not understand?” Sunggyu massaged his temples.

“At home…” Woohyun mumbled. “It was…lonely.”

“…Your parents…were working all night again?” Sunggyu asked, worriedly.

Woohyun nodded. Sunggyu hesitantly knelt down beside him, attempting to keep a five feet distance, but before he knew it he was moving closer. His hand instinctively moved to the back of Woohyun’s head and Woohyun leaned his forehead on his shoulder.

“It…” Woohyun hiccupped and Sunggyu noticed the droplets—Woohyun’s tears—falling onto the knee of his pants. “It was so lonely...all I could think about was wanting to be with…with you.”

Sunggyu swallowed the lump in his throat feeling that guilt in the pit of his stomach again. He removed his hand, scooting away, but Woohyun clutched onto his shirt.

“I-I’m sorry I lied!” Woohyun blurted out. “But that…hyung, age was the only thing I lied about! Everything else between us—it was all real. The most real—!”

“Stop!” Sunggyu stood up. A decision he regretted, because now Woohyun was on his hands and knees, looking up at him like a puppy, begging not to be abandoned. Sunggyu ignored the knots forming in his stomach and averted his eyes. “Get up.” He murmured.

“Hyung…” Woohyun clutched onto his pant leg, pitifully. “Can’t we just…can’t we just talk about—?”

“Let go.” Sunggyu ordered, fists clenching in an attempt of self control. However Woohyun didn’t let go and clutched tighter to his leg, burying his nose into Sunggyu’s calf. “Let go before I kick you.” Sunggyu wanted to sound threatening but he choked out the words rather weakly instead.

But Woohyun refused to loosen his hold, as if he knew Sunggyu would never have the heart to hurt him.

“What do you want from me?” Sunggyu blurted out, causing Woohyun to look up at him. “I’m your fucking teacher!”

Woohyun finally released his arms from Sunggyu’s legs and stood up. “But…you’re more than that to me—.”

“Why can’t you understand?!” Sunggyu’s voice cracked. “I can’t be more to you! I _can’t_ Woohyun!”

“But you…” Woohyun still had that look of hopefulness in his eyes like there was a chance for them. It made Sunggyu feel like the most horrible person in the world. “We’re destined to be together—.”

“Cut the crap!” Sunggyu interrupted, throat going dry from raising his voice so much. “There’s no such thing as your shitty destiny—.”

Woohyun clutched onto his arm. “T-Tell me you don’t feel anything for me then! T-Tell me you don’t—.”

Sunggyu grabbed Woohyun’s shoulders, frustration building up inside of him like a pot boiling over. “Don’t you get it you idiot I can’t fucking do that! I can’t…” He breathed roughly, fingers digging deeper into the hard bone of Woohyun’s shoulders.

Woohyun shook his head, eyebrows furrowing as reality was truly and finally sinking in.

“N-No…but,” He swallowed. “I don’t…I want to be with you hyung! I only—!”

“You’re young you’ll move on.” Sunggyu released him and turned around, his own words cutting into him a little too sharply.

“Will you…will you move on?” Woohyun asked quietly and Sunggyu didn’t dare turn back around to face him.

“Yes.”

Sunggyu stood like that in silence with his back facing Woohyun. But then he heard a shuddery sigh and hesitantly turned around.

Woohyun was looking somewhere to the side, but then they locked gazes and there was that last bit of pleading in his eyes. “If…if its over between us—.”

“There never was anything between us.” Sunggyu interrupted, darkly.

Woohyun swallowed down the lump in his throat. “F-Fine…but, as a—a goodbye, can I have you?”

“W-What?” Sunggyu choked. “Are you out of your fucking mind—?!”

“It…e-even a kiss! I….” Woohyun bit his lip. “I just need you one last time. Please—.”

“ _One last time_? There was never a time before! Don’t act like we’re parting lovers because we’re not!” Sunggyu hated raising his voice at Woohyun like this—and more than that he hated every single word that was coming out of his mouth because every sentence was coming out a lie.

-

It had been two weeks of meeting in the bar—two weeks of summer until they met outside the bar.

Sunggyu wasn’t used to taking the initiative on anything and was sort of always used to the other person making the first move, like asking him out. But this time he found himself awkwardly blurting out a question somewhere along the lines of “Its dark in here I can’t even see you its weird that I barely know what you even look like and maybe we should meet in the day time so I can finally properly see what you look like.”

It wasn’t the smoothest line, but it made Woohyun laugh and agree.

“H-How about coffee?” Sunggyu suggested. Coffee was casual and comfortable and not too serious at all. Coffee was good.

“Yeah…” Woohyun nodded. “Ok.”

But when Woohyun didn’t show up the next day after waiting for twenty minutes, Sunggyu regretted ever putting himself out there. But as he was midway through finishing the remains of his iced coffee, he got a text from Woohyun. They had exchanged phone numbers the night before.

**Can you come outside?**

Sunggyu stepped out of the café, to see Woohyun leaning against the corner of the building as if attempting to hide himself.

“What…What’re you doing out here?” Sunggyu asked. He couldn’t help but examine the boy’s appearance—soft dark hair, striped t-shirt, simple fitted jeans and converse. Sunggyu couldn’t help but feel that Woohyun looked so much… _younger_ in the daylight. He found that the thought somewhat disturbed him and looking back on it that should have been his first sign that something was wrong.

“I…uh…” Woohyun averted his eyes, awkwardly rubbing his forearm. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Sunggyu he couldn’t go into the café because one of his brother’s friends worked there. If Boohyun’s friend saw him, he would most definitely question him about who Sunggyu was and then he would tell Boohyun and Sunggyu would find out the truth. And then Sunggyu would leave.

He felt so horrible about lying to Sunggyu like this. He wanted nothing more than to be honest with the older man. But he wasn’t naive. He knew what it meant for an adult and someone underage to be together. He knew it wasn’t right.

But he was already in too deep. He was already falling for Sunggyu and he couldn’t stop himself.

He couldn’t let go of this—of the one thing that made him feel like he was special, like he was loved.

“This place…its not that good.” Woohyun lied.

Sunggyu sensed Woohyun’s discomfort and lazily glanced down the street.

“My apartment is right around the corner…” He murmured, before realizing the implications of his statement. “Uh,” Sunggyu cleared his throat. “I-I mean—.”

“That’d be great!” Woohyun grabbed his hand, suddenly becoming animated again.

Sunggyu was completely and utterly shocked. He wasn’t expecting things to be moving this fast, but he soon found himself leading Woohyun down the sidewalk towards his home.

All Woohyun could think was that being in Sunggyu’s apartment would be private and no one he knew would be able to see them. No one would catch them. It would be perfect.

That was what he thought until Sunggyu pushed open the front door and suddenly Woohyun’s heart dropped down to his stomach.

He felt a sliver of uncertainty, standing at the front entrance of Sunggyu’s apartment.

_Sunggyu’s apartment._

It was a strange feeling. He had never been in an adult’s home like this before—a single, male adult that wasn’t a family member or a parent of a friend.

Sunggyu’s apartment definitely had that “single man” feeling in Woohyun’s mind. Charcoal colored walls, dark wood floors, a grey loveseat sofa, across from a television with a rectangular glass coffee table between.

Sunggyu had already taken off his shoes and was staring at him.

The tense, nervous look on Woohyun’s face, piqued Sunggyu’s interest. He wondered why Woohyun’s eyes seemed to hold so much innocence as he followed him into the living room.

“Are you feeling ok?” Sunggyu murmured, eyeing Woohyun with concern.

“Uh…y-yeah.” Woohyun choked on his own words, and then stumbled in his steps.

It was endearing.

That was all Sunggyu could think.

He smiled softly and patted Woohyun’s shoulder. He felt Woohyun tense under his palm and rubbed his shoulder softly.

“How about we have some lunch?”

Woohyun breathed a sigh of relief at that and smiled at him. “Ok.”

The first time Woohyun came over it was just lunch.

In an ideal world, that would’ve been ok if everything had stopped there. But in reality, it was only the beginning of the guilt currently looming over Sunggyu’s head.

Because ‘just lunch’ soon turned to coming over the next afternoon, which turned into dinner which turned into dinner again. And soon they were sharing a pint of ice cream on the sofa, with a movie blaring on the television that neither of them were paying attention to.

Sunggyu felt this giddy sparkly fluffy feeling in his chest blooming like the prettiest flower. He would never admit that to anyone of course, but the feeling…he had only felt it once before.

“ _Is this…?”_ He wondered. “ _This might be—.”_

“Ah.” Woohyun interrupted him from his thoughts as he dug around the empty ice cream carton with his spoon. “Its gone…” Woohyun mumbled.

Sunggyu had the last scoop on his spoon and smiled. “Here,” He raised the spoon towards Woohyun. “Say ahh.”

Woohyun happily opened his mouth for the chocolate ice cream on Sunggyu’s spoon. He swallowed it contentedly and licked his lips.

Sunggyu’s focus lingered on the boy’s mouth for a second too long, before he dumped his spoon in the carton that Woohyun was still holding onto.

“You have…” Sunggyu used his thumb to wipe a chocolate ice cream stain from the corner of Woohyun’s mouth. “A little chocolate here.”

Woohyun stared at him with widened eyes as Sunggyu licked the chocolate off his thumb

“Do I…?” Woohyun murmured dazedly. “Do I have anymore on my face?”

Sunggyu met his gaze, and Woohyun immediately bit his lip in anticipation.

“Yeah…” Sunggyu breathed, leaning in closer, thumb pressed to Woohyun’s plump lower lip. When Woohyun’s eyes fluttered closed, Sunggyu chuckled. Woohyun immediately opened his eyes, lips forming a pout when he realized Sunggyu was messing with him.

-

“School starts soon.” Sunggyu glanced at the digital clock on his night stand. “I have to go get ready. Get out.”

Woohyun stood before him, eyes drooped in a state of worry and desperation.

“Please…please sunsaeng-nim—.”

Sunggyu snorted loudly. “Do you think that just because you’re calling me sunsaeng-nim what you’re asking is ok?”

“Its not…” Woohyun looked down. “I know it isn’t, but…but it still hurts.” He bit his lip, cautiously meeting Sunggyu’s eyes. “I…I don’t want to never see you again—.”

“Y-You’ll see me in class.” Sunggyu averted his eyes, because obviously he knew that wasn’t what Woohyun meant. In some ways, he was relieved they never actually kissed and definitely relieved they never went beyond that. If they had, he had a feeling it would be even harder to let go of this thing they had—whatever it is— _was._

“Woohyun…” Sunggyu softened his voice a bit, swallowing down the lump of regret in his throat. “Please…just go.”


	4. Strawberry Tart

When Sunggyu entered the classroom, the first thing he did was look for Woohyun. After kicking Woohyun out of his house that morning, he was feeling extremely guilty. He knew Woohyun’s situation—well not exactly. But he knew enough that the Nam household wasn’t home for Woohyun most of the time.

Woohyun depended on him too much and that made Sunggyu sick to his stomach. All this time, Woohyun must have been depending on him like a parental figure, and yet he…he never thought of Woohyun as a child.

He mentally shook off that thought. Because things were different now—and the way he looked at Woohyun had to change.

But Woohyun wasn’t even in class. Sunggyu wished he would be there and just keep his head down so the boy wouldn’t be constantly running through his head—so he wouldn’t have to keep thinking about him like this.

Woohyun didn’t show up for school at all and he was plaguing Sunggyu’s mind the whole time. After the last class ended, Sunggyu stopped Sungyeol and Myungsoo as everyone was filing out of the room to ask them about dropping off the homework sheets for Woohyun.

“We would Ssaem but…” Sungyeol and Myungsoo exchanged a glance.

“We don’t…” Myungsoo rubbed the back of his neck. “We don’t really know where he lives.”

“How could you not…” Sunggyu trailed off when he realized it wasn’t that surprising that Woohyun didn’t tell them where he lived. Not when Woohyun, himself rarely spent time at home—or rather he seemed to avoid going home. Sunggyu knew it was because Woohyun was lonely, he remembered the boy telling him that once.

His parents worked all the time and his brother left for a job opportunity in New York a few weeks before summer ended. Sunggyu remembered how upset Woohyun seemed about it and assumed that was the reason he didn’t get any calls from the boy for the few weeks before school started.

Obviously now he knew the _real_ reason Woohyun avoided him during the last weeks of summer.

-

In the end he decided to take the homework sheets to Woohyun himself. He knew it wasn’t a good idea but there wasn’t really any other options. He didn’t think it was in Woohyun’s best interest to share his address with his two classmates.

But then again it probably wasn’t in Woohyun’s best interests to be meeting up with a creepy old man who was attracted to him.

Sunggyu shuddered at the thought—that creepy old man was _him_.

_“He’s a child.”_ He reminded himself as he drove down a quiet suburban street. He wasn’t quite sure of Woohyun’s exact address, but then he spotted a figure huddled on the ground by the gates of the third house to the corner. He pulled up the car beside the curb, turned off the engine and got out.

His eyes hadn’t deceived him. Woohyun who had his backpack settled down beside him on the concrete, looked up.

“…Hyung—I mean sunsaeng-nim….?”

“What’re you doing here?” Sunggyu frowned. “You didn’t show up for school today.”

Woohyun averted his eyes and awkwardly reached for the strap of his backpack.

“Uh…yeah.”

Sunggyu sighed, knowing very well that he was the cause of Woohyun’s absence from school.

“Why’re you sitting out here? Isn’t this your house?”

Woohyun nodded. “Uh yeah…I’m kind of locked out.”

“Locked out?”

“No one’s home and…I don’t have my keys.”

“When are your parents coming home?”

Woohyun remained quiet and merely shrugged.

Sunggyu noticed the sky was graying and the air was moist, signs that it looked like it would rain soon, most likely that night.

“C’mon.” He held out his hand. “Get up.”

Woohyun stared up at him with widened eyes. “Huh?”

“You can’t stay out here all night. Its getting dark and it looks like its gonna rain.”

“But…” Woohyun gazed at Sunggyu’s outstretched hand, that glint of hopefulness back in his eyes. “I thought you said we…”

“It doesn’t mean anything.” Sunggyu grabbed his hand and pulled him up. “I’m just being a good Samaritan.”

Woohyun blinked. “Wait hyung I thought you were born in Korea—?”

“Never mind.” Sunggyu shook his head. “Just…get in the car…and its _Sunsaeng-nim._ ”

-

Woohyun let out a contented sigh as he followed Sunggyu into the living room.

“Ah…I missed this place.” He looked around and nodded.

“You were here this morning.” Sunggyu muttered as he adjusted the throw pillows on the couch and unfolded a blanket tossing that on the sofa as well. “You can sleep here.”

“S-Sleep?” Woohyun choked. “You’re…you’re letting me—?”

“What other options are there? Its not like you can stay outside all night.” Sunggyu tried his best not to give Woohyun any kind of hope that any of this meant anything more. The last thing he wanted to do was lead him on. But seeing the way Woohyun moved towards the couch, adjusting the blanket and biting his lip excitably, seemed to prove Sunggyu’s efforts were in vain.

“Woohyun-ah…” Sunggyu sighed softly. Woohyun instantly looked up with wide eyes.

“You—.”

Sunggyu quickly cleared his throat and averted his eyes. “D-Don’t get any ideas ok? Just sleep here and go to school tomorrow and pretend like nothing happened.”

Woohyun didn’t say anything and it only served to frustrate Sunggyu more.

“Listen to me.” Sunggyu spoke clearly and rather harshly. “This means nothing. Think of this as a hotel and you’re staying here as a guest.” He explained as he puffed up a pillow. But then Woohyun suddenly grabbed the pillow out of his hands and escaped down the hallway. Sunggyu’s first instinct forced his body to chase after Woohyun all the way to his bedroom.

“Yah!” He called out. “What do you think you’re doing!?”

Woohyun pushed open the door to Sunggyu’s bedroom, but the small tear in the pillow got caught on the door knob. Woohyun’s heart was racing and he couldn’t be bothered to remove it properly and instead yanked at the pillow harder, causing the feathers inside to fly out as he pulled. He managed to move forward, torn pillow still in his arms, when Sunggyu grabbed onto his arm, rather forcefully—or rather lunged towards him, accidentally using too much force and shoving Woohyun onto the bed.

Suddenly everything froze as their eyes met, Sunggyu on top of Woohyun, the soft white pillow’s feathers flying all around them.

They were both breathing hard and Woohyun’s intense gaze was driving Sunggyu insane.

Woohyun’s lips were right there, plump and inviting and sinful and forbidden.

Sunggyu swallowed the lump in his throat that seemed to form every time he had to resist Woohyun. It only became more difficult with the way Woohyun was staring back at him—with so much desire it was almost painful.

“Woohyun-ah…” Sunggyu choked, voice breathless, and practically non-existent. “We can’t…” His elbow was under Woohyun’s arm and he raised his hand to caress Woohyun’s soft cheek. Such an action was not allowed—he knew that very well. He knew everything right now was so, _so_ wrong. His mind was screaming for him to stop but his heart was forcing his lips closer to Woohyun’s.

Woohyun’s lips parted, his half lidded gaze tracing Sunggyu’s eyes down to his mouth and his heart was whirring faster than an industrial mixer.

_I just need you one last time_

Woohyun’s words haunted Sunggyu, melded into his mind and played on repeat over and over again.

Just once, to have Woohyun once—it was forbidden fruit, he knew but the thought of _just once_ tugged at his heart and wouldn’t let go. But he knew how that story went very well. Just once is never _just once_.

It took every ounce of his being to push himself off Woohyun and turn away.

Woohyun’s heart sunk in disappointment. Disappointment and fear—fear that Sunggyu really was done with him. He believed that was his last chance. To do what exactly? He wasn’t sure.

Perhaps…perhaps to attain the one thing he wanted so desperately—for someone, for _Sunggyu_ to stay by his side.

He sat up, the bed creaking as he did so, gaze on the floor.

Sunggyu’s back was turned to him and the intensity in the air almost strangled him. He knew he did the wrong thing. He knew he was doing wrong to Sunggyu.

“Hyung.” He choked. He felt like he was already at the bottom of the barrel. It couldn’t get worse. He had nothing left to lose because he was pretty sure he had already lost Sunggyu. His hands trembled nervously as he stood up and clutched onto Sunggyu’s wrist. He tugged on Sunggyu’s arm until Sunggyu shoved him away and turned to face him.

“Stop it—!”

“I-I love you!” Woohyun blurted out.

“No you don’t!” Sunggyu interrupted, face going red with intensity. “You’re a child you don’t know what the fuck love is! You’re…y-you’re just a stupid child!”

It was clear he was shouting those words more to himself—as if to convince himself they were the truth.

“No…” Woohyun shook his head, tears dripping down his face. “N-No you don’t mean that! I-I know…I know you don’t see me that way—!”

Sunggyu suddenly grabbed his wrist and roughly pulled him out of the bedroom.

“Hyung!” Woohyun cried. “Please! I’m so sorry but please just—!”

Suddenly the door to Sunggyu’s bedroom door was slammed shut and he heard the lock click. Woohyun was left standing alone in the dim hallway. “H-Hyung!” He sobbed, pawing at the door. “Hyung don’t do this! Hyung…please…” He sunk to his knees, crying so hard until he was hyperventilating.

-

The next morning, though Sunggyu barely got a wink of sleep, he forced himself out of bed. He walked to the door and opened it to see Woohyun huddled outside the door, lying on the floor, clutching his knees to his chest and shivering.

Sunggyu sighed softly, the sick feeling in his stomach that he seemed to be having all the time these days was there again. He wordlessly scooped up Woohyun and tucked him into his bed before leaving to go shower and get ready for school.

However, Woohyun woke up when he heard the shower turn on. He squinted, rubbing his eyes, as he inhaled Sunggyu’s scent all around him. He instantly sat up and looked around in a surprised state, forgetting where he was for a moment.

He looked to the closed bathroom door, the sprinkling of the shower could be heard and he gulped, running a hand through his somewhat messy hair.

“ _He’s on the other side of that door right now…”_ He thought, a sudden flush coloring his face, to which he slapped his cheeks softly. “ _What’re you thinking about right now…?”_ He sighed. “ _Am I really that delusional…or no, maybe its something else…desperation?”_ Then he snorted to himself, a bitter smile forming. “ _Yeah that must be it…”_

He crawled out of the bed, and began to unbutton his white school uniform shirt so that he could adjust the creases in it when the bathroom door opened. In a startled state, Woohyun whipped around to see Sunggyu in his trousers and his light blue button up shirt almost completely open, displaying a very _revealing_ view of his chest, which was still damp and moist from his shower. His hair was also still slightly wet, with some water droplets dripping from his hair down the side of his forehead and neck.

Sunggyu cleared his throat as he ran a hand through his damp hair and moved to his dresser. Woohyun felt like he was suffocating or having some kind of episode because he was pretty sure he wasn’t breathing just then.

“Sun…sunsaeng-nim.” He almost choked on his words, watching Sunggyu open up the drawer to his dresser. “…Do you…do you hate me?”

Sunggyu didn’t say anything for a minute and Woohyun was left to watch him silently rifle through the drawer.

“Would that be better?” Sunggyu finally said, back still to Woohyun. “Would it make it easier for you…if I said I did?”

“No.” Woohyun replied almost instantly, nervously. “But…but if you said how you really feel then maybe—.”

“Then maybe what?” Sunggyu cut him off, his voice almost void completely of emotion. He slowly turned around, looking to Woohyun with dark eyes. Woohyun couldn’t help but back up timidly as Sunggyu moved towards him with a somewhat intimidating aura. “Then _what?_ ”

Woohyun averted his eyes as he felt the wall behind his back. “I…”

Sunggyu leaned in, one palm pressed to the wall behind Woohyun. “What? The law will totally understand if we tell them we like each other or whatever? And then we’ll get married and everyone will be happy forever? You think that’ll happen?”

Woohyun gulped, wincing at Sunggyu’s condescending tone, as the older man barely gave him room to breathe. “I…I know it won’t be like that.” He met Sunggyu’s eyes with a rather soft expression. “Please…don’t be like this.”

Sunggyu’s heart was throbbing with remorse but he figured if he played the bad guy—if he made Woohyun uncomfortable as much as he hated doing that—Woohyun would finally realize they shouldn’t be together. He would finally realize that he didn’t want or need someone like Sunggyu.

Sunggyu swallowed down the regret in his throat and cupped Woohyun’s chin forcefully, giving him the darkest most menacing look he could.

“ _Push me away Woohyun…please just leave me…”_

Woohyun’s expression didn’t change to Sunggyu’s surprise and he instead had a rather calm expression.

“I…I know you’re not like this hyung.” Woohyun said in a way that was gentle yet very much sure of what he was saying. “You…you don’t have to be that person.”

Sunggyu was taken off guard for a moment. He cleared his throat. “How do you know…I’m not really this kind of person? You…you don’t know anything about me.”

Woohyun held onto Sunggyu’s wrist, moving his hand from his chin.

“Because…you’re a strawberry tart.” Woohyun said rather seriously, though there was a glint in his eyes. “A little crusty on the outside, but the inside is much sweeter than anyone could ever imagine.”

Sunggyu couldn’t really believe his life right now. He was rendered speechless by some high school kid that had just called him crusty. He wondered if he was always this kind of person and maybe it wasn’t right but he laughed. A lot.

Woohyun’s eyes widened for a moment at witnessing Sunggyu’s bright laugh after so long. He broke out into a big smile too, the kind that made his eyes disappear in the most affectionate way. And they both just laughed, even though it wasn’t even that funny, but maybe just for the chance to see each other smile a little longer.

“Can I ask you something?” Woohyun asked, after they had calmed down.

Sunggyu pushed his dark bangs out of his face with his fingers and looked to Woohyun.

“I…” Woohyun looked down, nervousness budding and taking full form in the pit of his stomach up to his throat. He wasn’t expecting a positive response but he just had to ask. “Would you…could you wait for me?”

Sunggyu blinked, silently taking in Woohyun’s words. “…What?”

“I…Its only two more years!” Woohyun stammered. “I’ll be eighteen then…I-I know that’s a long time and you can date someone else if you want to, but if its possible when I turn eighteen and if you don’t have anyone…will you give me another chance then?”

Sunggyu stared at Woohyun in disbelief. It astounded him that Woohyun had suddenly come out with a rather mature solution, considering everything that had been happening between them lately.

He smiled weakly. “I think you’ll be the one who’ll have someone else by then. You’re young you shouldn’t waste your life thinking about an old guy like me.” He rubbed the back of his head. “Date some pretty girls….or er guys or whoever. This is the time where you should get to do that.”

“Two more years.” Woohyun repeated, as if he hadn’t heard Sunggyu at all.

Sunggyu chuckled softly. “Ok…we’ll see in two years. I might be married by then—.”

Woohyun gasped in horror, and Sunggyu couldn’t help but find it amusing. Though there wasn’t anything amusing about it because there might be a chance that he would have to be married by then.

They were interrupted when Sunggyu’s phone rang on his nightstand. It was his mother.

“Sunggyu what happened? Are you ok?” His mother blurted out after he answered it.

“Huh?” Sunggyu frowned. “I’m ok mom…why—?”

“I thought something happened because you didn’t show up for your blind date last night and you didn’t even call!”

“Ah…” Sunggyu had completely forgotten about the blind date his mother had set up for last night because of everything that had happened with Woohyun. “I’m sorry I…had a lot going on—.”

“I understand Gyu, you were busy with your new job right?” His mother cooed. “So that’s why I managed to get her to meet you again tonight!”

Sunggyu sighed. “Oh…that’s nice.”

“You don’t sound excited? Is everything ok dear?”

“N-No that’s great. Sorry for not calling before mom. I’ll be there.”

After he hung up Woohyun was staring at him, arms folded and frown on his face.

Sunggyu raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“What was that about?” Woohyun questioned impatiently. “A blind date?”

“You heard that?” Sunggyu eyed him incredulously. “Wow your hearing is good. Anyways its getting late we should make breakfast and then leave. Ah and you’re probably gonna have to take the bus—.”

“You’re going on a blind date?” Woohyun followed him into the kitchen. “Who is it with? Is she also a teacher? What’s her job? Is she pretty—?”

Sunggyu stopped in his steps, causing Woohyun to crash into his back. Sunggyu sighed and turned around. He poked Woohyun’s forehead.

“None of your business. Two years remember?”

Woohyun pouted. “So I’m not allowed to know anything about your social life for two whole years?”

“You’ll know as much as a student should know about their teacher.” Sunggyu told him as he turned on the coffee machine.

“Which basically means nothing.” Woohyun groaned as Sunggyu opened up the fridge and got out the milk that had been delivered the previous morning.

Sunggyu got out a red and blue mug, (one that his mother had bought for him because she thought it looked cute like her son) and poured some milk in it. “Here.” He handed it to Woohyun. “You’re gonna need this if you want to grow in the next two years.”

Woohyun blushed and stared down at the mug. “I-I’ll grow!”

“Just don’t grow taller than me.” Sunggyu joked.

“Sorry hyung, but I’m gonna be big and strong and I’ll have to carry you on our wedding day.” Woohyun announced and took a bug glug of the milk.

Sunggyu rolled his eyes. “What kind of high school boy talks about marriage?”

“This kind.” Woohyun pointed to himself then laughed at his own dumb joke that wasn’t even really a joke.

Sunggyu sighed and shook his head at the boy. But it was still so endearing to him and it made him wonder how he was going to resist Woohyun for two whole years with Woohyun being in his class and everything.

_“Two years,”_ he told himself. “ _Just two years...”_


	5. Growing up

Woohyun nervously settled into the cushy passenger’s seat of Sunggyu’s sleek charcoal glossed sedan. It smelled strongly of the leather upholstery and a hint of something almost soft like…baby powder or fresh laundry? Woohyun couldn’t exactly put his finger on it but it was comforting to him in a way but maybe that was because it was Sunggyu’s.

Everything about Sunggyu comforted him, but unsettled him at the same time. He looked at Sunggyu and couldn’t help but feel somewhat inadequate. When he looked at Sunggyu—mature, intelligent, independent—that’s what Woohyun saw, someone really amazing and cool.

Sunggyu was a man with a job and his own apartment and a nice car.

Sunggyu was a _man_.

Woohyun absently touched his bicep—thin and weak. He bit his lip, recalling that morning and seeing Sunggyu step out of the bathroom—his freshly showered appearance. Sure Sunggyu didn’t have a six-pack nor was he extraordinarily muscular but he definitely had the body of a man.

Woohyun couldn’t help but look at his rather scrawny body, his small hands, chubby cheeks and childish bowl cut, and feel discouraged.

_“Two years_.” He reminded himself. He had two years to improve himself—to be good enough—to become man enough for Sunggyu.

Sunggyu threw his briefcase in the backseat and got into the driver’s seat. He noticed Woohyun’s apprehensive expression and sighed. “I know I don’t seem that reliable, but I’m a pretty good driver, you know?”

“Hm?” Woohyun looked up in a daze. Once he registered Sunggyu’s words he smiled softly. “Its not that…I’m sure you’re a great driver.”

Sunggyu tilted his head, lips jutting into a pout. “What’s wrong then?”

“…Nothing.” Woohyun murmured, folding his hands on his lap. “Two years, remember?”

“So that means I can’t even ask if you’re ok for two years?” Sunggyu snorted and Woohyun chuckled in response. “Well whatever…I’m gonna have to drop you off at the bus station since obviously it’ll be bad if we come to school together, is that ok?”

Woohyun nodded, solemnly. “Not like there’s any other choice.”

Sunggyu felt sort of bad seeing Woohyun looking so defeated especially after making him cry the night before and for being so cold toward him for the whole week (though it was somewhat for Woohyun’s sake.)

He awkwardly patted Woohyun’s hair, ruffling his soft black locks. “Hey uh…how about we get some coffee before I drop you off?”

Woohyun instantly looked up, eyes sparkling in awe. “W-What?”

“Uh just…you know like we can pick up something really quick or…something?” Sunggyu cleared his throat, quickly retracting his hand. Woohyun shyly touched his hair where Sunggyu’s hand had been and nodded enthusiastically.

-

Sunggyu parked outside a nearby café and turned off the engine.

“What do you want? I’ll go in and get it.” Sunggyu asked.

“But…” Woohyun frowned. “I thought we were gonna go in together.”

“There’s no time.” Sunggyu cut him off bluntly.

“Oh…” Woohyun looked down, disappointed once again. Sunggyu could almost feel the frustration building up inside of him. It wasn’t that he was frustrated at Woohyun, but it was more that he was annoyed that he kept making Woohyun upset and felt this incessant need to make him smile and see him happy instead.

He didn’t really know what else to do so he patted Woohyun’s shoulder gently. “I’ll get you a mango smoothie, ok?”

Woohyun didn’t say anything and Sunggyu hesitated for a moment before getting out of the car and heading for the café. Woohyun waited a few minutes, watching Sunggyu step into line through the glass window of the café. Then he hopped out of the car and dashed inside.

Sunggyu was in the middle of scanning the board over the register for what to order when Woohyun suddenly hugged him from behind. He didn’t need to see who it was to know it was Woohyun. He instantly pulled Woohyun’s arms away and turned around.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He hissed. He tried to keep his voice hushed as to not attract any attention but no one seemed to care much anyways—too concerned with their own conversations or their phones.

“I…” Woohyun rubbed his own forearm. “I missed you.”

“I just left for two minutes.” Sunggyu groaned. “I told you to wait in the car…”

“Can’t we wait together?” Woohyun asked, subtly reaching for Sunggyu’s hand. Sunggyu jerked his hand away far too quickly and folded his arms.

“Go sit down then.” He sighed, gesturing to the small seating area near the window.

Woohyun didn’t even bother looking to where Sunggyu was pointing and shook his head.

“No I…I want to wait here with you.”

“You can’t.” Sunggyu noticed an older lady eyeing them as she was pouring some sugar in her coffee by the napkins stand. He figured it probably did look a little odd for a teenage boy in a school uniform to be clinging to a man in a button down and trousers that looked far too young to be his father.

“But…sunsaeng—.” Sunggyu instantly clamped a hand over Woohyun’s mouth, subtly checking to see if the woman noticed. But she was in the midst of pouring more creamer into her coffee.

Sunggyu sighed, turning to Woohyun, while still holding a hand over his mouth.

“Listen…” He whispered in his ear. “Don’t…don’t call me that here. It looks suspicious. Just call me hyung…people will think I’m your older brother then.”

Sunggyu could see Woohyun’s pout when he removed his hand.

“What’s with that face?” He sighed.

But then a grin suddenly broke out on Woohyun’s face. “Nothing… _hyung~_.”

Sunggyu twitched a bit. He didn’t really like the way Woohyun’s eyes were sparkling with mischief. “…Woohyun, don’t—.”

“Hyung,” Woohyun suddenly looped his arm around Sunggyu’s and leaned in. “Its ok for a little _brother_ to do this to his big _brother_ isn’t it?” He whispered in his ear.

Sunggyu shuddered in aggravation and lightly pushed Woohyun away to order.

He was quite surprised that Woohyun wasn’t more persistent and merely walked off back to the car.

-

Sunggyu returned to the car with the drinks fifteen minutes later— a smoothie for Woohyun and coffee for himself.

“Here, I got you a muffin.” Sunggyu handed Woohyun a small paper bag.

“Thanks.” Woohyun mumbled, placing the bag on the dashboard and putting the smoothie in the cup holder. He folded his arms and looked out the window.

Sunggyu sighed. “What now? What’d I do now? If anything I should be the one who’s mad—.”

“Its not…” Woohyun cut him off. “I’m not mad at you…I’m not even mad I just…” He sat up straighter, folding his hands in his lap. “Why does it have to be like this…I saw some lady in the café giving us weird looks like…like there’s something wrong with us…like we’re _disgusting._ ”

Sunggyu bit his lip. So Woohyun had seen the lady as well. “…Woohyun, that’s why—.”

“And you know the worst part of it is…I don’t even know if its because of our age difference or because we’re both males or what…I mean…” He choked, turning to face Sunggyu. “Will everything really be much easier in two years? I can’t…I mean its not like either of us will stop being male.”

Sunggyu swallowed down the urge to comfort Woohyun and assure him everything would work out. Because that would be a lie and things were already difficult and he didn’t want to give Woohyun any kind of false hope only for the boy to meet disappointment once again.

“It won’t.”

Woohyun nodded, chuckling bitterly. “Right…of course.” He looked into his lap, muttering mostly to himself, “What did I expect you to say—?”

“Exactly, what _did_ you expect me to say?” Sunggyu interrupted, fists clenching. “At least I’m not lying to you and saying everything will work out and we’ll be happy. I’m only telling you how it is like this for your sake. You think other adults would treat you like this? They would act like you’re a stupid naive child and—!”

“I get it!” Woohyun yelled back. “I know its not like that! I don’t need you to do me any favors, ok? I didn’t exactly grow up with a sheltered life! I-I wasn’t asking for you to…” His words trailed off, as his throat went dry and his eyes welled up with tears threatening to form. “I just…can’t you just give me a break?” He asked, facing Sunggyu who refused to meet his pleading eyes. “Not as a kid, not as an adult…but as a person…you’re so harsh one second and the next you’re buying me a smoothie.”

“…I-I can’t.” Sunggyu fiddled with his car keys in his hands. “This,” He gestured to the smoothie. “This is all I can do right now…I can’t afford to be nice to you. I can’t afford to give you that kind of hope that…that things’ll work out the way you want them to.” Sunggyu turned to look at him, eyes gleaming with intensity. “I don’t want to be responsible for hurting you like that when things go south. Don’t you understand? I’m like this right now…for the both of us.” His lower lip trembled for a moment before he bit his lip, averting his eyes. “Do you really think I want to be like this? I…I hate being like this…”

Then he started the car and they rode in silence for five minutes until Sunggyu couldn’t take it anymore and turned on some music to drown out the tense atmosphere.

_There I was again tonight_

_Forcing laughter, faking smiles_

_Same old tired lonely place_

Woohyun turned to him as Sunggyu stopped at a red light as Taylor Swift’s “Enchanted” played on.

That was the song… _their_ song.

Woohyun wondered if Sunggyu’s heart was thudding as wildly as his at that moment.

_This is me praying that this was the very first page_

_Not where the story line ends_

And suddenly it was like they were taken back in time to when they were in Boohyun’s bar, huddled together humming out lyrics to Taylor Swift songs and laughing like it was the most embarrassing thing they’ve ever done.

The memories of their summer warmed Woohyun’s chest until it became suffocating when he realized it would never be like that again.

It was scary.

The real world—the adult world—was so intimidating, so daunting that he found himself at a loss. Something so simple and pure as love…to think something like that could be forbidden in this new world he would have to learn to live in from now on.

He almost felt like a part of him was stolen away so suddenly and he could never get it back.

“ _Is this…”_ He turned to Sunggyu, who’s eyes were steady on the road, but his jaw was clenched as if to control his emotions. “ _Is this…what it means to grow up?”_

He wondered if this was life’s way of testing him—or forcing him to decide how he would see things from now on.

Woohyun looked to Sunggyu once more—Sunggyu who was so tightly wound around his sense of duty and responsibility to his parents, to society, and perhaps to himself.

He admired that side of Sunggyu, but at the same time he didn’t know if he wanted to be exactly the same. He wanted to be someone who despite what life would throw at him—he wanted to believe. Maybe he didn’t have to believe in anyone else, that was already hard for him to do, but if he could believe in his own dreams, in love and in the beauty of what destiny had to offer him. Then maybe…just maybe he could live the life that would make him happy.

He smiled at that. He liked the sound of it, though thinking it was probably easier than making it happen. But still, maybe it was his own stubbornness, but he wanted it to be that way. But at the same time, he was scared—a fear that was almost crippling, but the idea of “two years” made him feel like he could keep on trying. That he could finally fully receive Sunggyu’s love in two years, he felt like he would and could do anything he needed to do to make it so.

They reached the bus stop, and Sunggyu pulled the car along side the curb. He didn’t say anything, one hand on the wheel, eyes forward.

But Woohyun figured as much. Instead, he smiled and tapped Sunggyu’s shoulder.

“Thanks for the ride.” He pulled his backpack over his shoulder, as he reached for the door handle. But then he stopped to look at Sunggyu and placed his hand over Sunggyu’s other hand by the gear shift. “I love you.”

Sunggyu didn’t say anything. Woohyun didn’t expect him to.


	6. Something Special

For the following week, things took a rather normal turn. Woohyun quietly attended class, and Sunggyu tried his best to avoid him at all costs.

The date his mother had set up didn’t work out—or rather the woman was already in a relationship with a man her parents didn’t approve of and merely accepted the date with Sunggyu to appease them.

But that was fine with Sunggyu because he really wasn’t interested in whatever women his mother wanted to set him up with. He just wanted to focus on work (and getting over Woohyun.)

Unfortunately, he really couldn’t ignore Woohyun’s less than stellar grades. However, it was only for tests where he did so badly, since his homework was usually done and turned in with more than half the questions being correct. He sat at his desk in the teacher’s office at lunch time and looked through his students’ progress reports.  He found Woohyun’s and read through it, only to discover the same pattern for all his other classes. For essays and homework he did fine, but when it came to tests and exams there were a few fails, and the ones he managed to pass were just barely.

“ _Why is it only for tests…? Maybe he gets nervous to take tests?”_ Sunggyu almost smiled, imagining that a nervous Woohyun would probably be pretty cute. But then he quickly shook his head to rid himself of such thoughts. “ _He’s your student you creep. Just a student…a cute, lovable student—ugh stop it!”_ He sighed and put the file with Woohyun’s grades in it away.

-

After the last bell rang, the class began to clear out. Sunggyu leaned against his desk and waited as the students bowed and passed by him to the door. But then he spotted Woohyun subtly glance at him, before quickly bowing and hurrying past him.

“Wait.” Sunggyu cleared his throat. Woohyun jumped a little, and stopped in his steps. He hesitantly turned to face his teacher, nervously clutching onto his backpack straps.

“Y-Yes?” He gestured for Sungyeol and Myungsoo to go ahead. Sunggyu waited for the classroom to clear out until it was only the two of them left.

“Um…” Sunggyu cleared his throat. “Do you…have a minute to talk?”

-

Woohyun was both relieved and disappointed to find out that Sunggyu only stopped him to talk to him about his test scores.

“So I was thinking about it and…is it possible that you get nervous or anxiety taking exams?” Sunggyu asked, folding his hands over the desk and meeting Woohyun’s gaze across the table.

Woohyun shrugged. “I…I don’t know.”

Sunggyu could sense Woohyun’s unenthused mood and sighed.

“Woohyun-ah…this is really important, your grades—.”

Woohyun instantly looked up with wide eyes at Sunggyu’s rather gentle way of addressing him. “…hyung?”

Sunggyu’s features immediately darkened. “You’re not supposed to call me that.”

Woohyun disappointedly nodded and lowered his head. “Sorry…sunsaeng-nim.”

His change to a respectful tone made Sunggyu’s heart ache. He missed talking to Woohyun. Even just being able to sit with him like this was almost relieving in a way. But at the same time he knew it was nothing to indulge in because this was nothing more than a teacher/student meeting over grades. That was all it could be.

“If you’re having trouble preparing for tests, there are tutors—.”

“I don’t need a tutor.” Woohyun cut him off. “…How is some stranger I don’t even feel comfortable with supposed to help me relax?”

Sunggyu sighed, leaning his elbow on the desk. “Ok…then what _would_ help you relax?”

He immediately regretted asking that question however, when he saw the way Woohyun was looking at him—almost pleadingly but at the same time so direct as if to prove that Sunggyu already knew the answer.

And sadly, he did know.

“Woohyun….” Sunggyu eyed him with an almost tired expression. “That’s—.”

“Ok that’s fine.” Woohyun stood up from his seat. “I’ll just keep failing tests and flunk out of school—.”

“Yah.” Sunggyu got up as well, his palms pressed to the desk, irritation seeping from his voice. “That’s not—.”

“Maybe I can get a job working at a strip club? I heard they make good money…all I have to do is work out a bit—.”

“You know that’s not fair at all right?” Sunggyu groaned. “Yah…how am I supposed to—I mean y-you already know I can’t do anything for you!”

Woohyun tilted his head, lips jutted in a slight pout. “A teacher can’t help his student prepare to pass his exams? But isn’t that your job sunsaeng-nim?”

Sunggyu glared at him. “Stop playing innocent. You know very well that I can’t—.”

“I’m not playing though. I _am_ innocent!” Woohyun argued, a full on pout on his face now as he blinked cutely.

Sunggyu squeezed his eyes shut and massaged his temples to cool his growing frustration. “Yeah right…” He muttered under his breath. “Look,” He sighed. “If you’re having test anxiety maybe you can talk to the school counselor—.”

“Ahh” Woohyun put a finger to his lips, thoughtfully.  “I wonder if I have to have a six pack to be a stripper or if a four pack will work—?”

“Ok fine! I’ll help you damn it!”

-

Sunggyu hated himself for being so easily swayed by a high school student. But then again it wasn’t just any high school student…

And so he found himself waking up at seven in the morning on a Saturday and heading to the front door after hearing the incessant knocking that was sure to wake the neighbors.

He reluctantly opened the door in his pajamas—sweat pants and a loose t-shirt—to see Woohyun, bright eyed and chipper, backpack on, ready to learn.

Sunggyu’s tired eyes immediately widened. “Yah!” He hissed and pulled Woohyun inside before anyone could notice. (Though there wasn’t anyone outside anyways.) “What’re you doing here?!”

“Aren’t you going to help me study?” Woohyun chirped and took off his shoes at the entrance way and sauntered in, easily making himself at home.

“I never said you could come to my house! I meant at school! Like in a professional manner—!”

Woohyun suddenly clutched onto his forearm, meeting his gaze. “But I can’t relax at school _sunsaeng-nim_.”

Sunggyu rolled his eyes and shoved Woohyun away. “You better leave right now or I’m calling the cops.”

“And telling them what?” Woohyun frowned. “You’re the one who looks more suspicious…a teacher coercing a student into his apartment and all—.”

“I didn’t _coerce_ you! You barged in all on your own!”

“Yeah but….” Woohyun eyed him rather worriedly. “You really think the police will believe that?”

Sunggyu knew Woohyun wasn’t trying to blackmail him or anything and was just genuinely concerned about Sunggyu getting in trouble. But at the same time he felt like he was being backed into a corner.

_“If you’re so worried about me then don’t put me in this kind of situation in the first place…”_ Sunggyu thought to himself and sighed. “Ok fine since you’re here…” He disappeared down the hall and went into his bedroom to grab a file off his desk. He returned to the living room where Woohyun was sitting patiently and waiting for him. Sunggyu placed a stapled pile of papers on the coffee table in front of the boy.

“These are practice tests in language arts and math. Try these while I uh…” He gestured to his messy bed hair and pajama dressed state. “Get changed and stuff…”

-

After Sunggyu showered and dressed and completed all his morning preparations, he returned to the living room. To his surprise Woohyun was completely focused on the practice tests and barely even looked up when he passed by him.

Woohyun didn’t even budge when Sunggyu headed to the kitchen and turned on the coffee maker. Sunggyu was somewhat taken off guard by how serious Woohyun was being. He half-expected the boy to purposely mess around as an excuse to spend more time with him. So he was quite impressed that it was quite the opposite.

It made him realize that maybe he didn’t really know as much about Woohyun as he thought he did. He realized he wanted to know more—to understand him.

He brushed off that thought. There was no point in indulging his interest in Woohyun any further. That wouldn’t get him anywhere.

Whether he was merely attracted to Woohyun or if he truly loved him—it didn’t matter.

To the rest of the world it was all the same anyways.

He sat down on the sofa beside Woohyun and peered over his shoulder to check on how he was doing. Woohyun however was slightly startled by the close proximity and attempted to scoot the other way, but ending up knocking his knee on the coffee table and falling onto the floor.

Sunggyu immediately got up with a worried gaze. “Are you ok?”

Woohyun quickly sat up, sitting cross legged on the floor. “Y-Yes I’m ok—.”

“If you didn’t want me to sit next to you, you could’ve just said so.” Sunggyu frowned and held a hand out to help him up.

Woohyun avoided Sunggyu’s outstretched hand and pressed his palms to the floor and pushed himself up. “That’s…that’s not it.” He murmured, looking away.

Sunggyu returned his hand to his side as they both stood there in an uncomfortable silence. After a few moments it became unbearable for Sunggyu and he cleared his throat.

“S-So anyways—.”

“How…how can you even say that?” Woohyun met his gaze now, with a pained look in his eyes. “You already know…that I would give anything for you to sit beside me. For us…to sit side by side...to hold hands…to—.”

Sunggyu swallowed. “Stop being so overdramatic.”

“Is that what you think of me?” Woohyun smiled bitterly. “That I’m some overdramatic, whiny, child?”

“What’s wrong with you all of a sudden?” Sunggyu took a step towards him. “You…why are you acting like this—?”

“Its not all of a sudden!” Woohyun finally exploded. “Y-You ignored me for weeks so of course you don’t know the hell I was in!”

Sunggyu sighed and massaged his temples. “What else was I supposed to do—?”

“Is it that easy for you? Am I…am I really that forgettable to you?” Woohyun’s lower lip trembled. “What about that woman that your mother set you up with? A-Are you so happy with her that you could so easily throw me away completely—?”

Sunggyu marched right up to him and grabbed both his wrists. “Listen to me. Nothing having to do with you is easy for me. Whether that’s dealing with you, talking to you, or even just seeing you in class. Its so damn hard not to think about you all the time you stupid brat.”

Woohyun stared at him with wide eyes, lips parted in awe. “…R-Really?”

“You’re not forgettable at all…” Sunggyu’s gaze softened. “If anything…I-I can’t seem to forget about you…no matter how hard I try.”

“You still…” Woohyun’s eyes glistened, a look of almost disbelief painted his face. “Do you still…?”

“No.” Sunggyu quickly replied and let him go. Then he hurried off to the kitchen to finish fixing himself some breakfast.

Woohyun couldn’t help but smile as he watched Sunggyu. There was a warmth that expanded from his chest to his cheeks and it almost made him dizzy. But he liked it. He liked it so much. He was pretty sure in that moment he’d fallen even more in love with Sunggyu.

-

Sunggyu regretted telling Woohyun he still hadn’t moved on and regretted giving in and helping to tutor Woohyun after school. Especially during class the next day when Woohyun sat in his seat, sending him a sparkling eye smile the whole time.

He realized he had managed to lead Woohyun on even more. He didn’t want to be like this. He didn’t want to hurt Woohyun anymore. But at the same time…

He turned around after writing the assignment on the board. All the other students were scribbling it down in their notebooks. Well all except for Woohyun, who merely had his hands folded on the desk, smiling stupidly at Sunggyu like a lovesick puppy.

Sunggyu tried his best to ignore him and absently adjusted some paperwork on his desk. But his gaze naturally floated in Woohyun’s direction. Woohyun immediately perked up when Sunggyu met his gaze, but Sunggyu quickly looked away, clearing his throat.

Soon after, class was dismissed. Sunggyu organized some paperwork on his desk and put them in a folder, as students filed out, bowing to him as they left. That continued until the classroom was near empty. He looked up when he noticed two hands on the opposite edge of the desk. Woohyun was drumming his fingers on the desk and was smiling somewhat shyly at him, with that same glittering gaze.

“Class is dismissed.” Sunggyu informed him and focused on his paperwork, arranging and rearranging it unnecessarily.

“I know.” Woohyun replied.

“Then go…its lunch time.” Sunggyu sighed and sat down, pulling a lunchbox out of his bag.

Woohyun immediately pulled a seat to the other side of the desk and sat down, facing directly opposite of Sunggyu. He put his backpack down and rifled through his bag for his own lunch box.

“…What’re you doing?” Sunggyu frowned. “You’re not supposed to have lunch in here, go to your friends—.”

“Last time I checked it’s not illegal to have lunch in the classroom?” Woohyun hummed and opened up his lunch box. Sunggyu took a glance and observed a rather heartily made lunch—one that could only have been made with a mother’s loving hands.

“Your mom has been home lately?” He found himself asking.

Woohyun nodded happily. “She…she’s been home more these days.” He smiled just a little as he poked a rice clump with his chopsticks. “…Its nice.”

Sunggyu couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief. Woohyun wasn’t sitting at home alone all night anymore. “That’s good.”

Woohyun met his gaze and blushed at the sudden warmth radiating from Sunggyu’s gaze. It almost enveloped him like a cozy sweater.

“Y-Yeah…” He looked down again, and awkwardly stabbed a straw into his juice box.

“Well since you’re here and clearly have no plans to leave,” Sunggyu pulled out some worksheets from a manila folder. “You can study.”

Woohyun’s face immediately fell and his shoulders slumped in disappointment.

“…Do we have to? This is supposed to be lunch…its supposed to be break time.”

“If you wanted a break you should’ve sat with your friends instead of with the teacher.” Sunggyu remarked rather coldly, though there was a hint of amusement in his voice.

Woohyun sighed and pushed his lunch box to the side as Sunggyu placed the papers in front of him.

Sunggyu chuckled at Woohyun’s complete change to an apathetic state.

“Ok, how about if you finish this math test and get at least 80% I’ll give you something special.”

Woohyun’s eyes widened in anticipation. “S-Something special?”

Sunggyu immediately realized the somewhat vague implications of his statement and quickly wiped the grin off his face. “Uh…I-I just meant…not like that, just…” He looked around hastily and grabbed for a box of chalk. “This! I’ll…uh give you this box of chalk.”

Woohyun chuckled. “Chalk? How is that something special?”

“Fine you’ll get nothing then—.”

“N-No!” Woohyun gasped. “I’ll get that chalk!” He announced with a new wave of determination and grabbed his pencil and pressed it to the paper.

Sunggyu couldn’t help but be amused at the boy’s rather innocent actions.

“ _Cute…”_ He thought, biting his lip. “ _Why is he so cute?”_


	7. The only gift

Woohyun smiled to himself as he turned over the little green box of chalk in his hands. He leaned against the school gates, as other students passed him by, since school had just ended. Some sent him strange looks for caressing a box of chalk, but he didn’t care.

It was the first present Sunggyu had ever given him, and he didn’t care if it was merely a box of chalk, to him it was his most treasured item.

But then he felt a pair of eyes practically boring into him. He looked up to see a girl standing there. She had short, black hair. She looked like a fairly ordinary teenager with no stand out traits to be seen. She blushed when Woohyun met her gaze, but dashed off soon after, leaving Woohyun to tilt his head in confusion.

He shrugged it off, and gently rubbed his box of chalk.

“Hey.” He looked up again, to see Sungyeol leaning an elbow on his shoulder. Myungsoo was standing beside him. “Ready to go?”

“Oh uh…” Woohyun absently glanced past them. He was hoping to wait for Sunggyu for the slim hope that they could talk or even walk to his car together. But he knew better. He didn’t want to put Sunggyu through any more difficult times or cause him any more stress. Besides they did get to have lunch together and he even received a present from the older man.

Yes, he thought. Today was a good day.

He smiled at Sungyeol and Myungsoo and nodded. “Let’s go.”

§

The walked to Sungyeol’s house first. Sungyeol couldn’t help but notice Woohyun wasn’t paying attention to him and Myungsoo at all and only stared at his box of chalk.

“What’s that?” Sungyeol leaned over his shoulder, as they walked.

“Hm?” Woohyun hastily stuffed the green box into his jacket. “Ah…just something.”

“Like what kind of something?” Sungyeol prodded.

“None of your business.” Woohyun elbowed him lightly in the ribcage.

Sungyeol frowned, but decided to let it go when he noticed the street they were nearing. Sungyeol’s house was just past a shady neighborhood that tended to have delinquents and other hoodlums hanging about when it got dark. The sky was graying with clouds overhead, dimming the scenery. Though it wasn’t fully dark yet, Sungyeol noticed a group of figures at the corner of an alley way. He recognized them instantly, and grabbed Woohyun and Myungsoo’s arms.

“Let’s…let’s take a different route.”

“Hm?” Myungsoo turned to him, and then in the direction he was looking. “Are those…who are they? Sungyeol…what’d you do this time?”

It wasn’t a secret that Sungyeol was something of a troublemaker. He somehow always ended up in bad situations. He liked to say it was just bad timing, but it was obviously so much more than that. The trials of a teenager growing up with no real aspirations—these were his own thoughts of course. No one else ever said such things to his face. But for Sungyeol, they didn’t really need to. He knew he wasn’t exactly on a straightforward path to success. He had no clue what kind of future he would have—heck he barely knew what he was doing in the present.

They were too late and the group spotted them and were already approaching them.

“Well…” The leader of the pack, a man with stubble and a red plaid shirt smirked. “If it isn’t our favorite dongsaeng, Sungyeollie~” He slung an arm around Sungyeol, who merely glared at him.

“What do you want?”

“Ohh and you brought your cute little friends too, hm?” One of the other men grinned and grabbed Woohyun by his chin. “Hey little fella~.”

Woohyun shoved him off lightly. “Who…what do you guys want? Just leave us alone.”

At this point Myungsoo and Woohyun were somewhat accustomed to these run-ins with dangerous people because of Sungyeol. Though it wasn’t all the time, it wasn’t uncommon either. It usually resulted in getting beat up, and occasionally getting their money stolen.

And unfortunately this time was no different.

They always tried to fight back, but it never really worked out in their favor. Being younger and smaller and less experienced in fights were the factors that always worked against them.

They were down after only a few punches and kicks and really they figured it was better to not keep getting back up and get even more beaten up.

Woohyun lay on the concrete, slowly reaching in his jacket pocket to make sure the box of chalk was still there.

It wasn’t.

His eyes widened and he hastily sat up, despite the pain from the forming bruise on the left side of his rib.

He searched around aimlessly with the daylight no longer available to aid his search.

“Oh? This one’s getting back up again?”

He could hear one of the men somewhere behind him. But he couldn’t care less. He needed to find the box of chalk—his special gift from Sunggyu—his  _only_ gift from Sunggyu.

But then he turned around and spotted it right there on the concrete. The box had opened and a thin piece of white chalk was sticking out. He breathed heavily as he crawled across the pavement. But then a steel toed boot stepped right on top of the box, crushing the chalk into dust.

Woohyun’s eyes widened, bruised lower lip trembling, as he managed a weak gasp.

“N-No…”

“Hm?” The man grinded his heel into the pavement just to make sure the chalk was completely crushed. “Was this yours kid?”

Woohyun hated that he couldn’t stop the tears from spilling from his eyes. He hated that he couldn’t even stop the man. He hated that he was so weak.

The three of them were left there in the dark cold street—bruised and beaten.

Myungsoo slowly pushed himself up off the dirty cement and brushed off the gravel from his uniform pants. Sungyeol was sitting with his back turned to the other two.

Then he silently got up and left without a word.

Woohyun and Myungsoo knew he didn’t do it because he didn’t care. In fact it was quite the opposite. Sungyeol hated himself for always getting Myungsoo and Woohyun involved—for them always getting injured. He almost felt like an apology would be meaningless and seeing his face would just be worse for Myungsoo and Woohyun. So he left them alone—he took his guilt with him and carried it on his shoulders like a second backpack.

Myungsoo approached Woohyun who’s shoulders were slumped, back turned to the other boy.

“C’mon,” Myungsoo tapped his shoulder. “Let’s go home.”

Woohyun ignored him, tears flooding his vision as he desperately attempted to collect all the chalk dust into the crushed up little green box.

“This…I-I can’t leave without this.” He was a blubbering mess at this point and his words weren’t even clear anymore. But none of that mattered. His present—his precious gift from Sunggyu, was ruined. “I can…” He swallowed, scratched up fingers trembling as he scraped the white dust into the cardboard box. “I-I can still save it…”

“Its gone.” Myungsoo frowned. “Woohyun…just leave it.”

Woohyun’s lower lip trembled and he squeezed his eyes shut as more tears fell.

 _It was just a stupid box of chalk_. He could never bring himself to say that, because he was pretty sure he could never think of it that way.

He picked up the crushed box filled with chalk dust and shakily got to his feet.

“Let’s…” He clutched the box to his chest. “Let’s go home…”

§

He walked Myungsoo to his house which was closer and because he was slightly older and insisted on making sure Myungsoo got him safely. It was basically the reason the two other boys never found out where Woohyun lived.

Myungsoo stopped outside his front door. “Are you…are you sure you can get home safely?”

Woohyun nodded, a weak smile painted his face. Though it was hardly convincing with his swollen red eyes and trembling hands.

Myungsoo sent him one last worried look before heading inside.

Woohyun continued down the dark, dimly lit street, each foot step shakier than the last.

“ _I…I can fix it.”_ He told himself—or rather tried to convince himself. He remembered seeing a documentary on chalk making. It wasn’t that hard to do. He could look it up online and find out how to turn the dust into chalk again and he could tape the box back together and then it would be good as new.

He almost smiled at the idea. It was already bringing his mood up. Yes, it wasn’t that bad. He could do this. He could fix this. Things weren’t so bad—.

Suddenly a stranger knocked into him and he dropped the chalk into a nearby puddle.

“No!” Woohyun gasped, dropping to his knees. He desperately attempted to salvage any chalk dust he could but it was too late as the whole box had spilled into the puddle. “…No…” he breathed, staring hopelessly at the remains of his precious gift. It was no more. He lowered his head and just sat there on his hand and knees, willing himself not to cry. But he just felt so weak. He couldn’t even keep the only present he had ever received from Sunggyu safe. He couldn’t even do that much.

“I’m sorry, are you ok?”

He almost forgot about the person he bumped into, who was now kneeling down beside him.

“…Woohyun?”

Woohyun instantly looked up. He recognized that voice—so well it made his chest ache. Sunggyu was looking down at him with concern and confusion, a plastic grocery bag in his hands.

He was wearing casual clothes, so Woohyun assumed he had gone home and was just coming back from a short trip to the grocery store.

“What…are you doing here?” Sunggyu helped him to his feet. “Are you ok? Your…” He took in Woohyun’s bruised and battered appearance. “What happened?!”

Woohyun averted his eyes, focusing on the destroyed chalk box wilting in the puddle.

“I…I’m sorry.” He choked. “I…your present…the special gift you gave me it—.”

“Who cares about that!” Sunggyu grabbed him by his shoulders. “What happened to you? Who did this to you?!”

“I…care.” Woohyun smiled weakly. “That was…the only present you ever gave me and now…now its gone forever.”

Sunggyu sighed, when he felt some droplets falling from the sky. He picked up his grocery bag and the black umbrella that he had dropped. He pushed open his umbrella, and grabbed Woohyun’s arm.

“C’mon…tell me what happened on the way.”

Woohyun stared at him with wide, watery eyes. “On the way…to where?”

“Where else?” Sunggyu pulled him under the umbrella as the rain took full form into a shower. “My place.”

§

They walked for a few moments in the rain, under Sunggyu’s umbrella. The damp cool, rainy air mellowed Woohyun’s mind into an almost numbing state. But then his arm would absently brush Sunggyu’s sleeve and a spark ignited inside of him and he felt like life was surging back into him again. He wondered why it was like that…how just one person could make him feel like the world was ending but could also make him feel like the world was worth living in at the same time.

Sunggyu suddenly stopped. He pulled Woohyun under an awning outside a convenience store.

Woohyun looked around in confusion. “Sunsaeng-nim, what’re you…?”

Sunggyu pushed the grocery bag towards Woohyun. “Here hold this for a second.” Woohyun took the bag and watched Sunggyu reach into the inside pocket of his rain jacket which he wore over a zip-up hoodie. He pulled out a handkerchief and held it out under the rain so it got a little damp. Then he proceeded to wipe the blood staining Woohyun’s lower lip.

“You’re bruising.” Sunggyu sighed. “It was really bothering me.”

Woohyun could only stare at him silently, before lowering his gaze.

“Thank you—.”

“Don’t talk.” Sunggyu commanded and dabbed at Woohyun’s lip gently. “Don’t move your mouth either.”

Woohyun suddenly clutched onto Sunggyu’s wrist, sending him a meaningful gaze.

“Its ok…” He murmured. “You don’t have to—.”

“What happened?” Sunggyu regarded him with genuine and deep concern. He unconsciously found himself caressing Woohyun’s slightly dampened cheek. “Who did this to you Woohyun-ah?”

Woohyun exhaled and noticed he could see his breath. That’s how cold it was, yet he wondered why his cheeks were feeling so warm.

“I’m…” He looked down, taking a step backwards. “I’m fine.”

“Yah, I didn’t ask if you were fine. I asked what happened.” Sunggyu took a step towards him, reaching for his arm.

“I…I should just go home—.”

“Wait.” Sunggyu grabbed his wrist. “Is anyone at home?”

“Huh?” Woohyun’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Is your mother home?” Sunggyu questioned rather seriously. “Is there anyone at your house to take care of you?”

Woohyun pursed his lips in thought, deciding whether he should lie or not.

“That means no.” Sunggyu already read his mind.

“No but Sunsaeng-nim I’ll be fine—.”

“You’re not fine, you dumbass!” Sunggyu interrupted and pulled him in the direction of his apartment.

§

As soon as they entered Sunggyu’s apartment, the teacher threw his shoes at the entrance way, dropped his bag and umbrella, and hurried down the hall. Woohyun silently watched him for a moment before hesitantly removing his shoes. He was still in the midst of removing his dirty converse sneakers when Sunggyu threw a towel at his head.

Woohyun pulled the towel off his head and stared at it, and then up at Sunggyu.

“What’s this for—?”

“Dry off. You’ll catch a cold.” Sunggyu demanded and made a grab for Woohyun’s arm. He proceeded to drag Woohyun down the hall and into the bathroom.

“W-What’re you doing?” Woohyun stammered. Then he noticed an opened red first aid box on the sink counter. He watched as Sunggyu proceeded to dab some ointment on a cotton swab and then turn to him.

“This might sting a little.” He cupped Woohyun’s chin and pressed the cotton swab to the bruise on the corner of his lower lip. Woohyun clenched his jaw, but a slight whimper still came out.

Sunggyu’s expression immediately softened and he gently moved his hand to caress Woohyun’s flushed cheek. “Hey…” He met Woohyun’s gaze. “What happened?”

Woohyun swallowed down the guilty lump in his throat and averted his eyes.

“I…” He choked. “I…the gift you gave me…i-its ruined—.”

“I don’t care about that stupid. I meant your face. Who did this?” Sunggyu dabbed his lower lip again with the cotton swab.

But Woohyun still didn’t say anything and stared at his feet.

Sunggyu sighed, cursing under his breath. It was clear Woohyun wouldn’t let go of the ruined box of chalk. It was just a crappy box of chalk that was actually school property so Sunggyu didn’t understand why it was such a big deal. But it made him realize that Woohyun was maybe even more innocent than he thought. His chest ached at that thought and as his gaze fell on Woohyun’s pitiful stance, he felt even more of an urge to make everything better—somehow.

“Uh…” He cleared his throat. “How about…I uh…give you a better gift?”

Woohyun instantly looked up with wide eyes and an almost breathless, “What?”

He leaned forward, absently. “A…better gift—?”

“Uh first, take a bath.” Sunggyu cleared his throat, smoothly side stepping Woohyun’s advances.

“A bath?” Woohyun turned to him. “But…” He awkwardly pulled at his now stained white button up shirt.

“Its fine, I’ll let you borrow some clothes.” Sunggyu sighed and headed for the door.

“I-Is that the gift?!” Woohyun blurted out. “G-Getting to wear your clothes?”

Sunggyu had his back turned to Woohyun and one hand on the door knob. The corners of his lips formed a slight smile as he turned to Woohyun. “No dummy that’s not the gift.”

§

Sunggyu was in the midst of cooking some stew when he heard a loud crashing sound. He hurried to the closed bathroom door, but then hesitated for a moment. Woohyun was supposed to be showering and he didn’t want to unintentionally create an inappropriate situation. But then again Woohyun’s safety was more important, he reminded himself and knocked at the door.

“Woohyun? Are you ok?”

Silence was the only response he received so he reached for the doorknob when he heard a slight grunt.

“…Yeah…I’m ok.”

Sunggyu breathed a sigh of relief. “What happened? Should I…I mean do you need some help?”

There was a light chuckle. “I’m not a porcelain doll or something…I’ll be fine sunsaeng-nim.”

Sunggyu sighed and leaned his forehead against the door for a moment. “Fine, but what happened? Did you fall or—?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Woohyun replied quickly. “I just uh…dropped the shampoo bottle and some other things…”

“That was pretty loud though…” Sunggyu kept his grip on the doorknob, voice laced with suspicion.

Woohyun wasn’t exactly lying about dropping the shampoo bottle which he did, when he stumbled as he was getting into the tub. The bruise on his rib from where he was kicked by the gangsters was aching and even some slight movements made it ache. He was too distracted with the pain that he forgot to watch where he was going and ended up slipping inside the tub. He counted his lucky stars he fell on his butt and avoided injuring himself seriously—though it was still quite painful.

He winced as he planted one hand on the edge of the tub and attempted to pull himself up. He didn’t get a chance to control the painful groan that escaped his lips though.

“Woohyun? Yah! I heard that…that’s it.” Sunggyu announced from the other side of the door. “You’re not fine! I’m coming in—!”

“W-Wait!” Woohyun gasped, sitting in the tub and looking around in a panic for something to cover himself with. He managed to reach for a hand towel hanging on the rack near the tub, but unfortunately it was only big enough to cover…well what was absolutely necessary.

Sunggyu burst in and immediately regretted it, when he caught a flash of Woohyun’s bare chest. He averted his eyes and cleared his throat. “What…happened? Why are you sitting in there like that? You  _did_  fall, didn’t you?”

Woohyun folded his hands over the towel on his lap, and bit his lip.

“I…told you its fine. This is…this is even worse now, isn’t it?” He murmured. “Isn’t this…putting you in a bad situation?”

“Then don’t be clumsy…” Sunggyu muttered and awkwardly grabbed for a bigger towel and threw it at him.

Woohyun immediately wrapped the towel around his waist, but then whimpered when he accidentally pressed his rib to the cold surface of the tub.

“What happened?” Sunggyu finally faced him, and knelt down by the tub. He looked Woohyun’s over and noticed the bruise on his rib. He sighed and placed a hand on Woohyun’s head, turning his head to face him. “Why are you such a liar?”

Woohyun refused to meet his gaze. “I never…lied.”

“You said you were fine, when clearly you’re not.” Sunggyu pushed the shower curtain aside completely, before holding out a hand. “Can you get up?”

Woohyun ignored his hand. Letting Sunggyu help him with every little thing made him feel weak and he was already feeling frustrated about not being able to keep his special chalk box safe.

“I can get up myself.” He muttered, but made no move to get up.

Sunggyu watched him for a moment before an amused smile painted his face.

“So…should I just bring some snacks and a TV in here or…?”

“You can go, you know?” Woohyun frowned. “I’m fine, I’m just waiting for you to leave—.”

“Aish you’re taking too long and the stew’s gonna get cold.” Sunggyu complained as he reached an arm behind Woohyun’s back and the other under his knees.

Woohyun’s eyes widened. “W-Wait what are you doing hyung—I-I mean sunsaeng-nim—.”

“Can you just shut up for a second?” Sunggyu sighed and carried Woohyun out of the bathroom, making sure not to hit his head on the doorway. Woohyun suddenly wrapped his arms around Sunggyu’s neck and buried his face into Sunggyu’s chest. “Y-Yah…” Sunggyu almost stumbled at the sudden act of affection. “I-I never said you could…” He sighed as he headed into his room. “You’re seriously just shamelessly taking advantage of the situation aren’t you?”

“…Maybe.” Woohyun admitted sheepishly, voice muffled by Sunggyu’s shirt. His soft, warm breaths against Sunggyu’s neck somewhat frustrated Sunggyu more than he’d like to admit as he hastily put him down on the bed. However, Woohyun refused to let go and kept his arms firmly wrapped around Sunggyu’s neck, nose buried into the crook of his neck.

Sunggyu attempted to remove his arms as he stood hovering over Woohyun but the boy only clung on tighter.

“Wait…just a little bit longer.” He pleaded, and the way his voice echoed into Sunggyu’s skin sent shivers down his spine.

“D-Don’t…” Sunggyu groaned and hastily grasped to Woohyun’s arms. But the more he resisted, the more Woohyun clung to him. “Woohyun-ah…” He finally stopped struggling and breathed out. “You can’t…you need to let go.”

“You’re right…” Woohyun murmured. “I can’t…let go.”

Sunggyu couldn’t take another second and yanked Woohyun’s arms off and pinned them to the mattress. “Don’t twist my words.” He warned in an almost breathless tone.

Woohyun looked up at him, biting his lip, a flame of desire pooling behind his eyes, that made Sunggyu’s chest ache, because he was pretty sure he was feeling that same flame, except tenfold.

“Woohyun…” He breathed, and he couldn’t even be bothered that he sounded like he was begging. “Don’t…please don’t do this, ok?”

Woohyun met his gaze with glistening eyes. “I…I’m not doing anything. I’m just…being Woohyun.”

Sunggyu almost choked and he wasn’t sure if he should laugh or cry. So he laughed. He let his face fall onto the bed beside Woohyun’s ear as his stifled chuckles melted into the sheets.

Woohyun couldn’t get up with Sunggyu on top of him, but he didn’t need to, to know Sunggyu was laughing and that made him smile. An embarrassed chuckle came from his throat because he really didn’t think it was that funny and yet Sunggyu was laughing so much. But it made him feel warm. Sunggyu’s laugh made him feel warm and like everything would somehow be ok even if it was just in that moment.

“Hyung…” Woohyun uttered in an almost whispery tone.

“Hm?” Sunggyu turned his head to the side and his nose accidentally brushed Woohyun’s cheek. It was just a light touch but it still made Woohyun’s heart throb wildly. Even more so because he could feel Sunggyu’s eyes on him, tracing every inch of his face.

“Hyung…” Woohyun repeated in an almost whispery tone. “You…you’re letting me call you hyung?”

Sunggyu instantly sat up in a state of alarm like he was about to slip and fall off the edge of a cliff and he hadn’t even realized it. His eyes darted left and right for a moment, but before he could make another move, Woohyun sat up and wrapped his arms around Sunggyu’s waist in a hasty manner.

“Wait…” He breathed, burying his face into Sunggyu’s chest. “I’m sorry, don’t…leave.”

Sunggyu squeezed his eyes tight for a moment as one regret after another swam through his mind.

“…Woohyun—.”

“No…” Woohyun whined, rubbing his nose against Sunggyu’s shirt. “I-I like this…I want to be close with you like this…”

Sunggyu clutched onto Woohyun’s arms and pulled him away. He hated this part the most—the part where he had to force himself to push Woohyun away and proceed to hurt the boy once again.

“The…the stew will burn. I-I left the stove on.” Sunggyu cleared his throat as he curtly got off the bed and left the room—leaving Woohyun sitting there in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist and a face flushed from embarrassment and disappointment.

§

Sunggyu turned off the stove and let out a reluctant sigh.

_“Two years…at this rate…things won’t work out like that. He’ll just get more attached. I need to…I need to make him move on somehow.”_

As he thought about more ways to push Woohyun away (and resist him), the one in his thoughts hobbled into the kitchen, donning Sunggyu’s loose grey sweatpants and too long black t-shirt, that Sunggyu had left for him to change into.

He silently sat at the kitchen table, lightly touching the space under his rib once again. He winced and glanced at Sunggyu’s back for a moment. A part of him wanted to rush up to the older man and hug him tightly, and bury his nose into Sunggyu’s spine and just breathe him in—his scent, his skin, his everything.

A flush spread across his cheeks at the sudden rather inappropriate thoughts that were now filling his mind, but he couldn’t shake them, and his teenage hormones running wild wasn’t helping the cause.

 He tapped his fingers apprehensively, against the wooden kitchen table and absently looked around the humble sized kitchen.

“Food’s done.” Sunggyu mumbled and placed the pot on a place mat on the table. Then he got out two bowls, glasses, and two spoons. “Its just soup.” He sat down across from Woohyun and opened up the pot, allowing a bundle of steam to escape.

Woohyun watched with a rather dreamy expression as Sunggyu served the soup.

“Can you not…” Sunggyu sighed as he placed a bowl of stew in front of Woohyun. “…keep staring like that?”

Woohyun instantly moved his gaze to his bowl, a blush heating his cheeks. “…Sorry.”

Sunggyu frowned. It seemed like Woohyun really wasn’t getting the hint. And really he couldn’t blame him. It was his own fault for constantly sending him these mixed signals. He was the adult, and he knew what he was doing…well he was supposed to anyways.

But the truth was, he had no idea—not really. When it came to Woohyun, his mind somehow couldn’t think straight and orderly and sensibly. He knew he couldn’t allow it to continue now that he was at least aware of it somehow.

“I’m sorry…” Woohyun mumbled, stirring his stew with his spoon. “I…before, I got carried away. I shouldn’t have…done that.” He looked up at Sunggyu with an apologetic smile. “I…I put you in a bad position again, didn’t I?”

Sunggyu sighed and poured some juice into one of the glasses and pushed it towards Woohyun. “I think…you should find someone else.”

“I-I’m sorry…” Woohyun frowned. “I won’t do it again, I promise.”

Sunggyu furrowed his brows and then began to massage his temples. “Woohyun…be realistic. This…” He gestured to the space between the two of them. “This isn’t working…do you really think you’ll be able to hold on for two years? Find someone your own age to—.”

“W-What about you then?!” Woohyun blurted out. “Why do I have to be the one to find someone?”

Sunggyu raised an eyebrow. “Are you serious? You’ll just get jealous and focus on me even more!”

“That…!” Woohyun couldn’t even argue with Sunggyu’s statement because they both knew it was true. “I…y-you don’t know that.” He mumbled.

“Oh? So you  _wouldn’t_  get jealous?” Sunggyu leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. “Well in that case, my mother has lined up a few blind dates for me, and I’ve been meaning to get back to her on those…”

Woohyun pouted, but refused to say anything. He was young, but at the same time he still had  _some_  pride. “Fine. Go on dates. I already said I was fine with it before. Just as long as you’ve broken up with all of them in two years then I don’t care.”

Sunggyu snorted. “You’re such a liar.”

“What do you want from me?” Woohyun argued. “I’m saying go on the dates! I don’t care! Do what you want, its your life!”

“I’m not asking for your permission.” Sunggyu retorted.

“Yeah I already know you don’t care what I think.” Woohyun muttered, folding his arms and looking away.

Sunggyu’s jaw clenched for a moment, as he tried to think of what to say when really…there was nothing left to say.

“That’s not…true.” He mumbled, garnering Woohyun’s attention. “Why…why do you think I don’t care about your opinions?”

“Because…I’m just a stupid child, right?” Woohyun remarked with a bitter smile. “I don’t know what love is…I don’t know anything.”

Sunggyu heaved a sigh, leaning his elbows on the table. “I can’t…I can’t tell you what you want to hear…you know I can’t Woohyun-ah.” He swallowed down a lump in his throat. “B-But that’s why you should find someone your own age who won’t think of you that way and—.”

“I should go.” Woohyun suddenly stood up.

“Your parents…will they be home?” Sunggyu got up as well.

Woohyun nodded. “They’ll probably be home around midnight…”

“Ok, I’ll drop you off then.” Sunggyu told him in a decisive tone that meant Woohyun wasn’t allowed to protest. “Ah, but first…” He clutched onto Woohyun’s arm, making the boy turn and face him. “Take off your shirt.”

“W-What?” Woohyun choked.

“The bruise on your rib…” Sunggyu explained in a rather blasé demeanor. “I want to see if its ok. Maybe we can put some ice on it or something…”

“Its fine, don’t bother.” Woohyun mumbled in disappointment and turned for the door again. But Sunggyu wasn’t having any of it and tugged on Woohyun’s arm, not allowing the boy to go anywhere.

“It wasn’t a question.” He repeated, tone more serious than the first time. “Take off your shirt so I can see it…” Woohyun tried to ignore the flush in his cheeks and looked away, stubbornly. “If you don’t do it yourself, I’ll take it off for you.” Sunggyu suddenly announced. Woohyun’s face became red at that and he bit his lip, but still refused to budge. “Fine.” Sunggyu sighed and grabbed Woohyun by the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer. Woohyun squinted his eyes in embarrassment at their close proximity and Sunggyu basically stripping him of his shirt. He felt Sunggyu’s fingers accidentally graze his stomach and he involuntarily shuddered.

“H-Hyung…” He suddenly whimpered. Sunggyu looked up, rather startled, and when Woohyun finally opened his eyes and met Sunggyu’s gaze, he realized Sunggyu was blushing as well.

Sunggyu immediately let go of the folds of Woohyun’s shirt and cleared his throat.

“D-Do it yourself then….” He muttered and faced the other way.

“Its fine…I’m fine. I’ll just go—.”

“Just let me put some ice on it!” Sunggyu interrupted, suddenly raising his voice. “Stop being so stubborn—!”

“Two years, remember?!” Woohyun yelled back.

“What does that have to do with anything?! You’re hurt! I’m a human being not a monster, of course I’m going to care if someone else right in front of me is injured!”

“W-Well stop it!” Woohyun blurted out. “Stop being a strawberry tart and just be an asshole instead!”

Sunggyu snorted. “I-I’m trying! But you’re not making it easy!”

“Right, because I just make everything in your life more difficult…” Woohyun muttered, bitterly.

Sunggyu sighed. “…What is this conversation, even? Why are we talking like this…?”

“If you want to be nice to me, then can’t you just be completely nice to me?” Woohyun murmured, rubbing his forearm.

“You don’t want me to be nice to you.” Sunggyu told him, straightforwardly. “You…You want me to love you.”

Woohyun bit his lip, trying to ignore the lump forming in his throat.

“I’m…sorry, Woohyun-ah—.”

“You  _do_ love me.” Woohyun interrupted quietly. “You  _do_ love me…don’t you?”

Sunggyu didn’t say anything, and they stood there in a painfully uncomfortable silence for a few minutes.

“I…I’ll get the ice.” Sunggyu suddenly said and walked off towards the refrigerator.

§

The car ride to Woohyun’s house was filled with another uncomfortable silence that made Sunggyu feel like he was suffocating.

He stopped at the street curb, a few houses away from Woohyun’s.

“Um…so—.”

“Please don’t talk to me anymore.” Woohyun finally spoke up. He took off his seatbelt, staring harshly at the dashboard like it was the root of all evil. But then his lower lip trembled, giving away any sense of aggression he appeared to have. “I…that this isn’t right, do you…don’t you think I know that?” He turned to Sunggyu, eyes moist, the dim amber streetlight illuminating one half of his face. “Don’t you think I’m trying?”

Sunggyu didn’t say anything. Once again, he couldn’t say anything.

“No…this, being like this is too hard for me.” Woohyun murmured. “I’m not...just please ignore me ok? Don’t talk to me or be nice to me or anything…just  _please._ ”

Sunggyu looked at him worriedly. “Woohyun—.”

“I’m not…I’m not strong enough for this.” Woohyun choked. “I’m a weak person…a pathetic person who can’t understand that you being nice to me doesn’t mean you’ll return my feelings. I know…” He nodded, a bitter smile forming. “I hate this part of myself too…its so damn frustrating.” He almost whispered the last part, clenching his hands into fists in his lap. “Even if I beg like a pathetic dog for your attention…please don’t give it to me. Please…just treat me badly.”

Sunggyu bit his lip. “No…wait you’re not—.”

“I have to go.” Woohyun suddenly pushed open the door, pausing for a moment. He turned around once more and smiled at Sunggyu, eyes red and watery as he did everything he could to hold back the tears from falling. “I…” His voice was shuddery and trembling. “…I love you hyung.”

And then he shut the door and walked off into the dark street. 

 


	8. Colder

Sunggyu walked across the campus in a daze. He had barely slept last night and drank far too much and just felt numb and his head ached.

He passed a group of students heading to get lunch—animated and full of energy. He almost smiled, feeling a nostalgic twinge in his heart.

If only he could go back to being that age. But at the same time he would never want to.

He instantly stopped in his steps when he heard some girls talking as they passed him.

“Woohyun’s in that class isn’t he?” One of them giggled.

“S-So what if he is?” The other nudged her and they both laughed excitably.

Sunggyu stood silently, staring at the ground, a weak smile on his lips.

“Yeah…that’s good Woohyun-ah. Meet a nice girl and…and forget about this old man.”

§

Woohyun sighed as he rested his head on his desk and stared out the window.

“Why did I say that? Why did I tell him not to talk to me anymore? Why am I such an idiot…?” He watched a leaf fall off a branch and float downward for a moment. He already missed Sunggyu and really just needed a hug. He folded his hands together on his lap as he pressed his forehead to the table’s surface. He imagined Sunggyu hugging him—being enveloped in Sunggyu’s warm embrace, resting his cheek against Sunggyu’s firm but still comfy chest. It was the warmest feeling, and he wanted nothing more than to feel it again and all the time.

Suddenly he felt a warm hand on his head, and opened his eyes wide. He quickly raised his head to see Myungsoo sending him a worried look, one hand entangled in Woohyun’s dark hair.

“You ok?” Myungsoo frowned, when Woohyun sighed, barely hiding his disappointment.

“Yeah.” Woohyun smiled lightly. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“No its just…” Myungsoo sat down at the desk in front of Woohyun’s, watching him for a moment. “Yesterday, you…”

“I’m fine.” Woohyun waved him off with what he thought was a confident grin, but Myungsoo didn’t seem convinced in the least.

He reached out and touched the now slightly faded bruise on Woohyun’s lower lip.

“Is this the only place you got hurt?”

“…Yeah.” Woohyun lied. He met Myungsoo’s gaze for a moment before focusing on a small pencil mark on the desk. “How about you?” He looked at Myungsoo again, eyes drifting across his face to find any signs of injury.

“Just some scratches…” Myungsoo tilted his head. “I feel like they go easier on me?”

Woohyun chuckled and patted Myungsoo’s cheek. “Its because our Myungsoo is too pretty~”

Myungsoo laughed shyly and Woohyun laughed as well. But then they heard a squeal and noticed some female students huddled in the door way, watching them. The girls immediately blushed when Myungsoo and Woohyun noticed them and ran away.

“Aw why’d they leave, we should’ve given them a show.” Woohyun joked.

Myungsoo snorted. “I think we just did.”

“Eh,” Woohyun shook his head in disapproval. “That was nothing.”

“Oh really?” Myungsoo leaned back in amusement.

“Well yeah, I mean…” Woohyun shrugged, wearing a rather dumbfounded expression. “What did we even do for them to freak out?”

Myungsoo suddenly leaned forward, resting his elbows over Woohyun’s desk. He met Woohyun’s gaze, silently with a rather intense look in his eyes. He cupped Woohyun’s chin, caressing his lower lip for a moment. Then he leaned even closer so that Woohyun could feel his breath heat his skin.

“What was…that little box from yesterday?” He asked quietly.

Suddenly there was a squeak of shoes and they both looked to the doorway to see Sungyeol standing there. He looked slightly startled, but remained stoic. He cleared his throat and continued down the hall, instead of acknowledging them.

§

Sunggyu decided to eat his lunch on the rooftop. He really just wanted to be alone and he could use the fresh air. But when he finally made it up the stairs and pushed open the door, he noticed someone had the same idea as him. He sighed and was about to leave, when he recognized the student holding onto the railing, staring into the broad grey sky.

“Sungyeol-ah?”

The boy instantly turned upon hearing his name. “Sunsaeng-nim…” He bowed and was already making his way to the door.

“Ah, wait.” Sunggyu stopped him. He noticed the bruise near Sungyeol’s eye and his curiosity was instantly piqued. He knew Sungyeol was friends with Woohyun and if Sungyeol was injured like this too, then they must’ve been together when Woohyun sustained his injuries from last night. “What happened to your eye?”

Sungyeol gave him a look that told him he clearly wasn’t going to tell him.

“Why? Are you going to give me detention?”

Sunggyu frowned. “No, but I just…were you by chance with Nam Woohyun last night?”

Sungyeol stared at him for a moment. “…Why?”

“Uh…” Sunggyu averted his eyes. “I just…I noticed he had some injuries as well and—.”

“I didn’t beat him up.” Sungyeol quickly said.

“So…what did happen then?” Sunggyu pressed on. “I won’t punish you or anything, I just want to know.”

“Why?” Sungyeol asked, regarding Sunggyu suspiciously. “Why do you care what happened to me and Woohyun?”

“I…I-I’m your teacher, of course I should care.” Sunggyu stammered.

“We didn’t fight.”

Sunggyu sighed. “Ok, but…Sungyeol-ah,” He smiled weakly. “What happened then? Did Woohyun—I-I mean was there someone else involved? Did someone attack you guys?”

“No.” Sungyeol lied.

“Oh…so you just magically got cuts and bruises out of no where?” Sunggyu retorted, resting his hands on his hips.

“I told you we didn’t fight.” Sungyeol repeated. “We won’t get the school in trouble, so don’t worry about it.” He headed for the door again, but then Sunggyu grabbed onto his wrist.

“Wait…I don’t care about the school or whatever.” Sunggyu stared at him, worry filling his eyes now. But there was something else there as well—desperation. “Just tell me what happened ok?”

Suddenly the door opened and Myungsoo and Woohyun burst through.

“Sungyeol—!” Woohyun immediately froze when he and Sunggyu accidentally locked gazes.

“Ah, sunsaeng-nim.” Myungsoo hurriedly bowed and rushed to Sungyeol’s side. Woohyun however, could only stand in the doorway, face warm and chest aching.

Sunggyu turned to Sungyeol and smiled slightly. “Tell me about it later, ok?”

“No wait sunsaeng-nim.” Sungyeol piped up. “Now that Woohyun’s here you can just ask him. You’ll have your proof that we didn’t fight.”

“Uh…” Sunggyu smiled uncomfortably. “No that’s…its ok I believe you.” He nodded awkwardly and stumbled to the door—and towards Woohyun.

Woohyun could only stand where he was and watch him coming closer like a deer in the headlights.

“Uh…” Woohyun’s throat went dry as Sunggyu approached him. “I-I…”

But Sunggyu didn’t even look at him and merely passed by him like he was nothing but air. Woohyun stood silently, a cold air swishing past him in the wake of Sunggyu’s departure. The back of his eyes immediately watered and he had to swallow down the lump in his throat, and ignore the raw ache in his heart.

Sunggyu had completely ignored him and it hurt so damn much, it was cutting into him.

It was truly the end. He felt it in his bones and surging through his veins and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach.

§

Woohyun skipped class and instead wandered the school field. He stopped by a tree by the fence, leaning against it for a moment. He felt like his heart had been hammered into repeatedly until there was nothing but numbness left.

He slid down onto the dirt, by the tree, pulling his knees to his chest. The image of Sunggyu completely ignoring him played over and over again in his head and the sinking feeling that he would never be with Sunggyu was taking over and overwhelming him.

There weren’t many things he felt he could look forward to, since the future seemed so daunting. But Sunggyu—Sunggyu was supposed to be his light at the end of the dark tunnel of adolescence. But not anymore.

It shouldn’t have been like that anyways, he realized.

“Hey.” He looked up as Sungyeol sat down beside him. “You’re not going to class?”

Woohyun merely looked in front of him at the school’s soccer field.

“Could ask you the same thing.”

“I don’t want to.” Sungyeol sighed. “That teacher is weird…”

“Weird?” Woohyun turned to him, slightly amused. “Weird, how?”

“Before he kept asking about us…like if we were fighting or something.” Sungyeol shrugged, crossing his legs as he picked at blades of grass.

“What?” Woohyun’s eyes widened. “He…he asked about me?”

“Isn’t that weird? Like why does he even want to know about you or me? I think he’s one of those teachers who’s all up in everyone’s business so he can report it to the principal like a kiss-ass—.”

Woohyun suddenly stood up, somewhat urgently. “Class hasn’t started yet has it?”

“Huh?” Sungyeol frowned. He glanced at his watch. “Well…no but—.”

“Good! Let’s hurry we can still make it!”

§

Sunggyu looked over the students in the classroom, with a minute until class started and sighed. He kind of figured Woohyun might skip after what had happened at lunch. He was seriously considering suggesting Woohyun transfer to a different class. Maybe it would be easier for both of them that way.

But as he was having these thoughts, the door slid open, loudly and a panting Woohyun was standing there, with a reluctant, and slightly out of breath Sungyeol right behind him.

“M-Made it!” Woohyun stammered breathlessly, and scurried to his seat, dragging Sungyeol along with him just as the class bell rang. Sunggyu watched them for a moment, before clearing his throat and beginning class.

§

Woohyun watched Sunggyu like a hawk all throughout class just waiting for Sunggyu to notice him or give him some kind of sign. After hearing from Sungyeol that Sunggyu had asked about him, well it just ignited more hope in Woohyun. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t let go of Sunggyu. He couldn’t just let it be and move on. Or maybe he just didn’t know how and didn’t want to know.

He sighed softly, as he watched Sunggyu shuffle some papers, as he waited for the class to finish the quiz they were all supposed to be doing. But Woohyun couldn’t be bothered with the test, not when the person he loved more than anything was standing right there and his gorgeous hands were making Woohyun lose his mind. He imagined how it would be to be touched with those hands. The only times he had felt Sunggyu’s hands, they were warm and soft and comforting and he just wanted Sunggyu to softly stroke his head to help him fall asleep, and hug him and rub his back to calm him down, and caress his face gently while he leans in to kiss him.

Woohyun bit his lip for a moment, before pressing his fingers to his lower lip. He had kissed before—twice—but he had never kissed Sunggyu before. He was ashamed to admit the amount of times he had imagined it and even the different scenarios in which it would happen.

In one particularly bold dream, it happened in that exact classroom, and Sunggyu had been the one to throw caution to the wind and grab Woohyun up out of his desk. Even though the other students were watching them, Sunggyu didn’t seem to care and it felt like heaven for Woohyun…until he woke up. And realized Sunggyu was not kissing him or touching him and he was alone in bed with a hand down his pants.

Suddenly he heard someone clear his throat and it startled him out of his daydreams. He turned around to see Sunggyu standing there, glancing at him from the corner of his eye.

“You have twenty minutes left.” Sunggyu announced to the class, while still remaining where he was standing, slightly behind Woohyun’s desk. “Remember, we’ve gone over everything on the test in class so far, so there shouldn’t be anything you don’t know.”

Woohyun stared at his test sheet and realized Sunggyu was trying to help him out in a very vague way.

From Sunggyu’s words, he was expecting the test to be full of material he was familiar with, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case.

He only read the first question and he was already overwhelmed.

§

That night, Woohyun dreamt about Sunggyu again. Only this time Sunggyu had taken his hand and they traveled all over the world together riding on a giant paper crane. They swam in the ocean and found sea horses together, and ran in flowery fields amongst soft white bunnies.

In another dream Woohyun was standing by a lake. He saw Sunggyu on the other side, and he looked so far away but when Woohyun reached out he could almost touch him. It sounded like Sunggyu was telling him he loved him but there was something loud that was drowning out Sunggyu’s words. Woohyun tried calling out to him, asking him to repeat what he said. But every time Sunggyu did, some other sound interrupted him—something like wind or waves crashing or static.

“Please say it again!” Woohyun cried desperately. Sunggyu was holding out his hand, but when Woohyun reached out for it, he couldn’t touch him. “Hyung!” He cried out, the static sound becoming overwhelming. “Hyung please! Say you love me too! Don’t go…y-you can’t leave!” He shot up in bed, back sweaty and tears streaming down his cheeks. He attempted to calm his breathing, as he clutched his shirt. He slammed a hand down on the snooze button on his alarm clock—the source of the static noise.

Memories of the dream shot through his mind like cameras flashing and he couldn’t go back to sleep. He almost didn’t want to—he didn’t want to experience dreams again if they were going to make him feel like that.

§

The week was long and empty for Woohyun and Sunggyu’s overwhelming presence in class made him feel more hollow—needy.

Everyday for the whole week he had to watch Sunggyu ignore him like he was nothing, like he was meaningless, like he was forgotten.

And maybe Sunggyu had forgotten him. He began to entertain these thoughts—the possibility that Sunggyu had already moved on. Perhaps his mother had set him up on another date with a woman and he fell in love with her. Perhaps they were happily dating with marriage in mind and Woohyun was just nothing but some dumb kid who foolishly loved Sunggyu on his own.

But there were some occasions where he swore that Sunggyu would spare him a glance. Though they were small, fleeting moments, so he figured they could’ve been all in his head. He knew he had a tendency to do that sometimes—romanticize things, treat moments as if they were something more—or at least he had hope that they would be.

§

Seasons changed, the weather got colder, and Woohyun felt like it was almost turning into a reflection of his current self. He basically shut down in a lot of ways—he still spent time with his friends, but he was no longer outgoing or talkative and watched them silently. He didn’t really feel like being around people but at the same time it was too cold and lonely being alone at home. Though being around his friends didn’t help much with filling the loneliness in his heart since they had no idea what he was going through.

It was the day of their final exams before winter vacation.

“What’s this?” Sungyeol sat down at his desk beside Woohyun’s with a grin. Woohyun looked up from his textbook. “You’re actually studying for the test?”

Woohyun didn’t say anything, but then he felt Myungsoo’s arms wrap around his neck from behind as a form of greeting.

“Oh? Morning.” Woohyun greeted with a small smile. Myungsoo’s chest was warm and even though it still felt empty, it was nice for Woohyun to feel the warmth of another person. Myungsoo patted his head gently before holding his arms out and walking towards Sungyeol.

“No thanks.” Sungyeol promptly refused and got out his notebook to study. But Myungsoo wouldn’t take no for an answer and hugged Sungyeol’s head until Sungyeol whined that he was being suffocated.

Woohyun smiled faintly at the two and he wished he could be more content, being with his two best friends like this. This was how his life as a high school student should’ve been. But even for all the pain he had received from falling in love with Sunggyu, he never for a moment regretted it.

Suddenly a hand slammed down on his desk and he looked up. It was the girl with short black hair—he remembered, though now her hair had grown mid length and she wore a small red ladybug hairclip. He knew she was in his class, but he never really paid much attention.

“I-If I get a minimum 90% on this exam y-you’re going out with me.” She stammered. Her voice was shaky and stutter-y but she seemed very serious and direct about what she was saying.

Woohyun stared at her for a moment, blinking. “…Huh?”

“Ooh Kim Nari is finally asking Nam Woohyun out.”

“Didn’t she like him since we were in elementary school?”

Woohyun heard the hushed giggles and looked around in confusion, before pointing at himself.

“…Who? Me?”

The girl, Nari frowned. “Y-Yes! If I get a 90% on the exam you have to go on at least one date with me! Ok? P-Promise!” She announced and hurried off before Woohyun could protest.

Woohyun sat at his desk with his lips slightly parted. He heard Sungyeol snort and saw Myungsoo grinning at him. But he couldn’t even respond. He hadn’t even thought about anyone else except for Sunggyu since the school year started.

He didn’t know if he even wanted to think about anyone else. But then he remembered how Sunggyu had kept telling him to move on.

Just then Sunggyu walked in and greeted the class. His dark hair was kept casually short and he had on a dark grey suit that fit his well proportioned body perfectly.

Woohyun sighed. “How am I supposed to think about anyone else when someone like you exists?”

§

Woohyun spent the first few days of his winter vacation sitting at home under a blanket watching television and playing games. Anything to escape the dreariness that was real life even if it was just for an hour.

But that got old fast, so on Christmas Eve instead of being home alone, he pulled on his jacket and boots and went for a walk. He wandered the shopping mall as people hurried here and there in a rush to finish their last minute holiday shopping. He shoved his cold mitten clad hands in the pockets of his thick padded jacket as he smiled at some excited little kids in red mittens clutching onto their hot chocolates.

He felt a cold droplet on his nose and looked up to see snow flecks falling from the sky.

He held out his hand to catch a snowflake, and he almost felt like he was a little kid again. Like he was free from worries and concerns and other people and himself and just—free.

If only it could be like this forever, he thought. Though at the same time it was rather lonely. He wondered if he was ever not going to feel this kind of loneliness.

He stepped into a café to warm up and get something hot to drink when he almost instantly recognized the scent of the person in front of him. The hair, that neck, that body frame and he was starting to wonder how destiny had a way of being especially cruel to him or perhaps it was supposed to be a sign. He wanted to believe it was the latter.

His hand trembled, as he pondered whether to tap on Sunggyu’s shoulder to alert him of his presence. But for some reason he decided not to, if only for the chance that he could be in Sunggyu’s presence for a little bit longer.

After Sunggyu ordered, Woohyun hastily made his order, while attempting to not be seen by his teacher. They made Sunggyu’s drink first and he took it and was already leaving the coffee house. Woohyun panicked, checking which way Sunggyu was going through the glass doors, as he waited for his caramel macchiato to be done. He finally got his drink and rushed out of the café, looking both ways frantically, but Sunggyu was no where to be seen. He swallowed down a lump in his throat.

He was gone—Sunggyu was gone.

He smiled bitterly, murmuring to himself. “…Merry Christmas…hyung.”


	9. Marshmallows

Sunggyu spent Christmas day back at home at his parent’s house, which was quite far from his apartment in the city. He returned home two days after Christmas. He couldn’t help but wonder how Woohyun spent his Christmas. He was feeling bad about the boy all throughout the holidays, especially since he had seen him at the coffee shop on Christmas Eve and ignored him. He thought it would be better for Woohyun and in the long run easier, but right now it still felt like the hardest thing to do.

He walked up the stairs of his apartment, rubbing his cold hands together for warmth, as he shifted his duffle bag higher up his shoulder.

He stopped at the top of the stairs, staring silently at his lonely door, and then at the boy huddled in front of it, bundled in a padded blue jacket—shivering.

He almost dropped his bag right there, but he managed to hold onto it as he rushed up to Woohyun.

Wordlessly, he pulled Woohyun to his feet and dragged him inside.

Woohyun was shivering so much he could barely speak properly.

“Y-You f-finally came h-home—.”

“You’re such an idiot!” Sunggyu yelled, and pulled the quivering boy to his chest. “Are you trying to freeze to death?” He muttered.

Woohyun didn’t say anything, because Sunggyu was hugging him and even though his fingers felt almost numb for the first time in months his heart was anything but.

He buried his nose into Sunggyu’s scarf inhaling his comforting scent and he suddenly felt at peace again. But then he remembered how Sunggyu had so easily ignored him for months and was now lecturing him and he felt a bitter taste in his mouth.

He pushed Sunggyu away, midway through Sunggyu’s nagging and turned for the door.

“I should just go—.”

“Are you out of your mind?!” Sunggyu continued. “Its freezing out there! You’re not going anywhere! And why the hell did you come here anyways? How long were you waiting out there—?”

Woohyun reached inside his jacket pocket, getting out a small present box. He shoved it to Sunggyu’s chest. “Four hours.” Woohyun muttered, facing Sunggyu now with a teary glare. “I was waiting for four hours! I came by yesterday and waited all day but you didn’t come home!”

Sunggyu was speechless for a moment, and could do nothing but stare, bewildered.

“And I came to give you your stupid Christmas present!” Woohyun huffed, pushing the small box towards Sunggyu. But when Sunggyu didn’t take it, he chucked it into the hallway by their shoes.

“W-What the hell?!” Sunggyu stammered. “No one asked you to wait outside my house! Are you stupid?! And I don’t want your damn gift!”

“Just take it you asshole!” Woohyun suddenly shouted, body still trembling from the cold.

“No—!”

“Why?! Is your stupid girlfriend’s present better?!” Woohyun spat, fists clenching to fight away the tears threatening to spill.

Sunggyu frowned, sighing softly. “What girlfriend? I don’t have a girlfriend…”

“…Huh?” Woohyun swallowed. For the first time in months he felt so raw and cut open. And at the same time, so full and whole. Only Sunggyu could make him feel like this, he realized. “But…I thought…you had moved on. I thought you forgot about me! Y-You kept ignoring me!”

“You told me to ignore you!” Sunggyu groaned. “Don’t you remember? I was trying to make it better for you by leaving you alone. You seemed fine, so I thought you moved on!”

“I’m…I haven’t been fine at all.” Woohyun murmured, and reached for the door knob again. But he only just opened the door a bit, when Sunggyu pushed it shut again. Sunggyu locked the door and grabbed Woohyun’s arm, pulling him to sit on the floor, and proceeded to take off his shoes for him.

“What are you…doing?” Woohyun watched with a frown, wiping at his tear-stained cheek.

After Sunggyu pulled off Woohyun’s sneakers, he picked up the present Woohyun had thrown on the ground and took Woohyun’s hand. He silently pulled Woohyun into the living room and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders.

“You’re still shivering.” Sunggyu met Woohyun’s gaze, fingertips lightly grazing Woohyun’s cheek. His voice had considerably softened in tone and his expression was warmer and more forgiving. “I’ll make you some hot cocoa, ok? Just sit here and try to warm up.”

And then he was heading to the kitchen, leaving Woohyun sitting there in an overwhelmed daze.

He stared at the small red present box he had given Sunggyu that the older man had placed on the coffee table. He bit his lip, regret filling his thoughts.

“Damn it…” He thought. “I cried again…I told myself I wasn’t going to cry in front of him again but…”

He clenched his fists on his lap, but then shuddered and had to pull the blanket tighter over his body.

“Stop being so weak…” He told himself. “You have to be stronger…”

Sunggyu came back with a warm mug of hot chocolate. He had even put in mini marshmallows, which made him wonder why he even had those since he rarely ever drank hot chocolate in the first place. One day a few weeks ago he was at the grocery store and came across the hot cocoa mix and marshmallows and thoughts of Woohyun crossed his mind. At the time he had convinced himself that he just wanted a variety of hot drinks to have for the winter, but looking back he could admit that was clearly not the case.

He put the mug on the coffee table in front of Woohyun and sat down beside him.

“Are you still feeling cold?” Sunggyu asked.

Woohyun stared at his lap for a moment before peering into the mug (the red and blue one Sunggyu’s mother had gotten for him).

“Marshmallows?” He turned to Sunggyu and there was a hint of a smile. “You put in marshmallows?”

Sunggyu smiled sheepishly. “Y-Yeah…I just, uh had them lying around. If you hate them or something then too bad because I’m not making you a new cup.”

Woohyun chuckled lightly—a humored hiccup like laugh that only served to widen Sunggyu’s smile. “I’m sorry.” Sunggyu’s smile faded slightly as he reached out and patted Woohyun’s head, gingerly. “I didn’t realize you were so upset. I thought…I thought I was doing the right thing.”

Woohyun smiled sadly, gaze falling. “You probably were but I just…couldn’t handle it. I’m trying to be stronger—.”

“Well maybe you should stop crying all the time for starters.” Sunggyu joked, but Woohyun didn’t seem to find it funny at all. Sunggyu cleared his throat. “Sorry…but you know, I feel like I’m not doing the right thing if I’m hurting you so much…it feels wrong too.” He sighed, his eyes tracing the melting marshmallows floating at the top of the mug. “Everything feels wrong…”

Woohyun looked to him. “Do I feel wrong…does being with me feel wrong?”

“…I don’t know.” Sunggyu mumbled. Woohyun suddenly wrapped his arms around Sunggyu’s neck, the blanket slipping off his shoulders.

“How about this?” Woohyun’s voice lowered, becoming somewhat breathy, their noses almost touching. “Does this feel—?”

Sunggyu pressed his palm to Woohyun’s face, pushing him back. “Nice try.”

Woohyun pouted and rubbed his nose. “I wasn’t trying to—.”

“Sure.”

“I wasn’t!”

“No kissing.” Sunggyu chuckled and reached for the mug of hot chocolate, taking a small sip.

“Why not?” Woohyun complained. “Technically its only bad if we have sex, isn’t it?”

Sunggyu accidentally burnt his tongue and choked some more as he put the cup back down on the table. “W-What?”

“Isn’t it?” Woohyun pressed on.

“W-Why are you even thinking about that? You’re just a baby don’t think about those things.” Sunggyu cleared his throat, suddenly finding the design of the rug rather interesting.

“I’m not a baby.” Woohyun frowned. “You know most of the time I cook and clean all by myself and I—.”

“Yes, good.” Sunggyu absently patted his head, while still refusing eye contact. “You’ve leveled up to toddler status.”

“T-Toddler?” Woohyun whined. “Hyung! Isn’t that basically the same thing?”

“Basically.”

Woohyun shot him a look of frustration. One of the things he wanted the most was for Sunggyu to treat him as an equal, and not a child. “I’m not a toddler. I-I’m not even a virgin!” He blurted out.

There was a horribly long moment of silence, before Sunggyu hesitantly turned to him with wide eyes. “….What?”

“What?” Woohyun replied, almost challengingly. “Don’t believe me?”

“I…I don’t—that’s none of my business.” Sunggyu stammered, and Woohyun observed the hesitance and apprehension that was practically seeping from his pores.

“Are you…attracted to me hyung?”

Sunggyu cleared his throat and stood up. “I um, I’m hungry I’m going to—.”

Woohyun hastily clutched onto his wrist. “I-I…I think you’re so sexy…s-sometimes I can’t even breathe because you’re so—.”

Sunggyu coughed loudly on purpose, tugging his wrist away from Woohyun.

“I…I’m just going to—.”

“S-Sometimes I have dreams about you!” Woohyun blurted out. He didn’t even know why he was shamelessly spilling all these rather embarrassing facts. He knew it was obviously making Sunggyu uncomfortable, but at the same time he felt like he needed to be honest and let Sunggyu know just how much he felt for him. “A-And in the dreams we—.”

Sunggyu suddenly turned around, clutching onto Woohyun’s shoulders, rather aggressively. “You…” He breathed, gaze intense, as if teetering on the edge of a very steep cliff. “You need to stop.”

Woohyun bit his lip and he couldn’t help but feel a sliver of arousal. He knew it wasn’t the right time at all, but he couldn’t resist the way Sunggyu’s assertive manner seemed so sensuous.

“Hyung…” Woohyun murmured, daringly meeting his gaze. “I—.”

Suddenly Sunggyu let go and brushed past him. “So uh what’s this gift you got for me?” He suddenly sounded lighter again and Woohyun almost felt disappointed. But he was also relieved that Sunggyu wasn’t getting angry and threatening to kick him out.

He followed Sunggyu to the couch and watched nervously. “Its not much but—.”

“Why did you even get me a gift?” Sunggyu sighed.

Woohyun frowned. “I know I’m still young now, but I—.”

“No I meant why is a student getting a present for his teacher like this?” Sunggyu muttered as he unwrapped the small red present. It was a little ring box, with a silver ring inside. Sunggyu’s eyes widened. “Wait…this actually looks kind of expensive. Yah, you—.”

“Who’s a toddler now?” Woohyun grinned proudly. “I saved up my money for that…do you like it?”

Sunggyu shook his head. “No. Take it back.”

“What?” Woohyun looked like Sunggyu had stomped on his heart until it shattered.

“Its too much…you’re just a kid. I can’t take this from you.” Sunggyu explained, though Woohyun didn’t seem to appreciate that explanation either.

“Well fine, then just buy me something more expensive for my birthday.” Woohyun reasoned. “Its in February.”

Sunggyu shot him a suspicious stare. “Was that your goal from the beginning? So you can expect a fancy gift on your birthday?”

Woohyun grinned. “Maybe.”

Sunggyu sighed and shook his head. “Actually…I…well I did kind of get you a little something for Christmas.” Woohyun’s eyes widened, and he was practically shaking like an eager puppy.

“R-Really?”

“Don’t get excited!” Sunggyu quickly cut him off. “I just… got it for someone else but they didn’t want it, so its basically just leftovers. Its not like I got it especially for you or anything, ok?”

§

Sunggyu came out with a huge sack looking like Santa delivering presents on Christmas Eve.

“I thought you said it was a ‘little something’” Woohyun stared in amazement as Sunggyu put the sack down and reached inside. He pulled out an abundance of presents wrapped in red and green.

“Wait…are these all for me?”

“T-These are just things that no one else wanted!” Sunggyu exclaimed, with flushed cheeks. “Its not…don’t take it as more than that, ok!”

Woohyun unwrapped the gifts one by one—a teddy bear with a red bow around its neck, the video game he’d been wanting for months, a pair of blue snowflake print socks, a set box of assorted hot chocolate mixes, and new headphones.

“This is all…so much, a-and socks?” Woohyun was kind of speechless. He wasn’t quite sure if this was real life or not as he stared at the gifts and torn wrapping paper surrounding him on the floor.

“If you don’t want the socks I-I’m keeping them!” Sunggyu huffed, but Woohyun clutched onto them as if they were more precious than jewels.

“Hyung…why?” He looked up at him with drooping eyes. “You got all this…for me?”

Sunggyu averted his eyes as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I just…because before a while ago, you got all upset about that stupid box of chalk and I promised I’d get you something better but I never did. So uh…just think of all these things as a payback. So now we’re even.”

“Even…?” Woohyun murmured. “Even? How is this even? This…this is the most amazing Christmas ever.” He was near tears again and Sunggyu could only sigh. Though there was a little tug of joy in his chest at seeing how happy he had made Woohyun.

“Christmas ended two days ago dummy.” He smiled.

Woohyun giggled stupidly, with watery eyes as he held out his arms. “Hug?”

“No.” Sunggyu stopped smiling almost immediately. “You got your gifts already.”

But then Woohyun pouted and Sunggyu was feeling way too charitable (he blamed it on the time of year) and scooted onto the ground beside Woohyun and pulled him in for a hug.

“Gyu hyung is the best.” Woohyun murmured into his shoulder.

Sunggyu smiled softly, now that Woohyun couldn’t see it.

“Merry Christmas Woohyun-ah.”


	10. Sweet Side

Sunggyu woke up the next morning, feeling warmer and more energetic than he had in months. He actually woke up before nine on a holiday morning, but of course there was one very obvious reason for that. He stepped into his sherpa lined slippers and pulled on his robe as he made his way into the living room. It was colder in the living room than he had assumed and shivered a little as he entered. He spotted Woohyun wrapped up in a blanket—nothing more than a little red bundle on the sofa with flecks of dark hair peeping out.

He smiled to himself, and poked what looked like the top of Woohyun’s head.

“Woohyun-ah,” He rubbed the boy’s soft hair, as he spoke in a gentle tone. Woohyun made some sleepy grunting sounds and pulled the blanket just to his neck so Sunggyu could at least see his face. The tip of his nose was pink and his eyes were squeezed shut as to not allow any light to enter.

Sunggyu held Woohyun’s warm cheeks and smiled. “Morning sleepy-head.”

“Mngh…hyung?” Woohyun blinked away his sleepiness, and rubbed his eyes. But then he sneezed and Sunggyu’s thumbs absently brushed his ears.

“You’re freezing.” Sunggyu frowned. “Was it really cold last night?” He immediately wrapped the blanket snug under Woohyun’s chin and patted his head. “I’ll make you some hot chocolate, ok?”

Woohyun blinked hazily and watched Sunggyu get up.

“How about you try out your gift?” Sunggyu suggested, referring to the assorted hot chocolate gift set he had given to Woohyun the night before.

Woohyun nodded, his excitement suddenly growing. “Peppermint hot chocolate!”

§

Woohyun sat up on the sofa, still wrapped up in Sunggyu’s red blanket as Sunggyu placed the hot cocoa on the coffee table and sat down beside him.

Woohyun spared a glance at the mug and smiled. “Whipped cream today?”

“What, you wanted marshmallows?” Sunggyu folded his arms. “Well too bad. I’m not making another cup.”

Woohyun laughed softly, shoulders bobbing up and down, giving Sunggyu a warm, fluffy feeling in his chest. He scooted closer and wrapped his arms around the bundled up Woohyun.

“Are you still feeling cold?”

Woohyun suddenly became stiff, and dizziness overcame him. He wasn’t quite sure if he was dreaming or not, or if Sunggyu was actually hugging him.

“You should’ve gone home instead of sleeping out here, dummy.” Sunggyu sighed, a soft breath on Woohyun’s ear. Woohyun bit his lip, trying hard not to get too excited, but his heart was fluttering and he felt jittery and his face suddenly felt far too warm.

He managed a weak whimper-like sound and leaned into Sunggyu’s warmth.

It was the best and most comforting feeling and he was pretty sure this wasn’t real and any second he would wake up. But he didn’t, and he wasn’t waking up and Sunggyu, wasn’t letting go and was now stroking his head gently.

“I’m sorry.” Sunggyu murmured.

Woohyun opened his eyes, though he hadn’t even realized he had shut them.

“I hurt you so much...” Sunggyu continued. He began to pull back, but Woohyun hastily clutched onto his waist. Even if it was just for a moment more, he wanted to feel Sunggyu’s warmth. To his surprise, Sunggyu didn’t push him away, and he felt the man’s gentle fingers in his hair again. He sighed in relief and snuggled closer, when he heard Sunggyu chuckle. “I know you like hugging me, but can you listen for a second?”

Woohyun let go, sending him a frown. “I was listening.”

“Good.” Sunggyu patted his head. “I think…I think its not working out like this either. Pushing you away is just making us both miserable—.”

Woohyun gasped. “So we can be together—?!”

“Just let me finish!” Sunggyu snapped. “No, I just meant that…that we should be—.”

“Together—?”

“Civil…towards each other.” Sunggyu continued.

“Civil?” Woohyun’s shoulders slumped in disappointment. “What does that mean?”

“I mean, that we get along from now on. As in no avoiding each other, no pushing each other away…” Sunggyu explained. But as Woohyun was about to say something more, Sunggyu held up his hand. “But, that doesn’t mean we can be together. Not yet…ok?”

Woohyun frowned. “So…what does that mean? Can I still come over to your house?”

“No.”

“Can we eat lunch together at school?”

“No.”

“Can we kiss—?”

“Definitely no!”

“Then what can we do?” Woohyun grumbled. “It’s the same as before!”

“No skinship, ok?” Sunggyu reached for the mug of cocoa and handed it to Woohyun. “And that means no kissing, no hugging, no stuff like that.”

“Not even hugging?”

Sunggyu pondered it for a moment. “Fine…hugging is ok only on special occasions.”

After taking a sip of the warm milk, Woohyun put the cup down on the table before suddenly lunging forward, wrapping his arms around Sunggyu’s neck.

“How about now?” He whispered in Sunggyu’s ear. “Does this count as a special occasion?”

Sunggyu stumbled in movement for a moment, before pulling Woohyun’s arms off him.

“No.” He frowned. “And if you do that again, you’re getting detention.”

“Hm,” Woohyun grinned. “I wouldn’t mind some one-on-one after school discipline from sunsaeng-nim.”

Sunggyu made a face, only now remembering he was dealing with a (in some ways) very typical teenage boy. But at the same time, he had once been that teenage boy himself, so he knew exactly how to deal with this.

He leaned forward with a mysterious glint in his eyes, taking Woohyun off guard. Woohyun was sitting cross legged, his back awkwardly pressing to the arm of the sofa, as Sunggyu placed a hand on either of his knees. Woohyun’s heart was throbbing wildly, and he let out a slight whimper, as Sunggyu leaned closer, his shifting weight, applying slight pressure to the boys’ legs, as his lips grazed Woohyun’s ear.

“I don’t think you could handle my kind of discipline.”

Woohyun’s lips parted, and his cheeks flushed with color as Sunggyu calmly got up from the sofa, and started heading towards the kitchen in a rather cheerful manner.

“So how about some breakfast?”

§

Woohyun was sitting at the kitchen table with his head buried in his arms over the table as Sunggyu made breakfast.

Sunggyu noticed Woohyun wouldn’t raise his head, and as he walked towards him, he could see the tips of Woohyun’s ears were red. He smiled and gently rubbed Woohyun’s head, feeling his soft, dark hair between his fingers. It was like cotton candy—sweet-scented, fluffy and innocent.

“Woohyun-ah…”

He heard a slight whimper in response, and he suddenly had this urge to bite the pink tinged tips of the boy’s ears. He imagined Woohyun would probably make more of those cute sounds, but he quickly shook off those thoughts.

“Are you ok?”

“…Embarrassed.” Woohyun mumbled, but Sunggyu wasn’t sure he had heard him correctly.

“Hm?” He leaned closer, by Woohyun’s ear, just as Woohyun raised his head.

“I said—.” Woohyun froze, upon realizing he was mere inches from Sunggyu’s face, and then their eyes locked for a moment. Woohyun’s cheeks reddened almost immediately and he returned to his previous position—face buried in his arms again.

Sunggyu bit his lip, feeling somewhat guilty, even though he hadn’t actually done anything yet.

“Um…” He hesitantly patted Woohyun’s head again. “Sorry.”

All he got in response was another little whimper, and he had to repeat words about self control like a mantra in his head.

§

Woohyun seemed to return back to normal as they ate breakfast, though every time he caught Sunggyu staring at him, he blushed and choked on his food simultaneously.

“So what did you tell your parents last night…about where you were staying?”

“I told them I was staying over at a friend’s house.” Woohyun cleared his throat.

Sunggyu frowned. He felt a sick feeling in his stomach, hearing that he was the cause of Woohyun lying to his parents. “I don’t…I don’t like this.” He admitted. “I don’t want you to lie to your parents. Its wrong.”

“Well did you want me to tell them I was staying over at the house of the teacher that I’m in love with?” Woohyun muttered.

“That’s not…don’t be dumb.” Sunggyu sighed. “I just…I don’t want you staying overnight anymore, ok? Last night was just a one time thing because it was so cold and everything…”

Woohyun nodded reluctantly. “Yes sir. Anything else?”

“Yes, actually.” Sunggyu took a sip of his coffee. “Since winter break won’t last forever, and you’re not allowed to come over here and once school starts up again it’ll be really busy—.”

“I’m not allowed to come over to see you at all?” Woohyun pouted.

“No.” Sunggyu replied rather coldly. But when he noticed Woohyun’s shoulders slump in complete disappointment, he chuckled. “So that’s why tomorrow…for the whole day—.”

Woohyun instantly looked up with wide eyes. “Seriously?”

“Whatever you want to do.” Sunggyu grinned.

“For the whole day?”

“Not the whole day…only until 5pm.” Sunggyu explained. “I have a meeting at seven and plus I want you home before it gets dark—.”

“We can do anything?” Woohyun was looking at him in awe like it was Christmas morning all over again. “But wait…” Woohyun’s smile suddenly faded. “What if…what if someone from school or someone’s parents see or…”

“That’s why I have a car.” Sunggyu leaned back in his chair and rubbed his now full belly. “We don’t have to stay in town, you know?”

§

The next morning, Sunggyu knew he really shouldn’t have been surprised when he heard knocking on the front door at seven in the morning.

He got up from the table where he was sitting in front of his laptop and drinking his coffee in his pajamas—black sweatpants and a loose long sweatshirt. The moment he opened the door, Woohyun’s arms were wrapped around his waist.

“Morning hyung.” Woohyun greeted cheerfully, deeply inhaling the scent of Sunggyu’s sweatshirt with a content sigh. “Its really cold so this counts as a special occasion right?”

Sunggyu sighed and patted his head. “Fine…just this once ok? Did you take the bus?”

Woohyun let go, to take off his shoes. He nodded as he hurriedly pulled off his sneakers and followed after Sunggyu into the living room.

“You came so early…” Sunggyu ran a hand through his disheveled hair. “I figured you were coming around noon so…”

“How can I come at noon? Then we won’t have much time together…” Woohyun frowned. “Didn’t you say you had a meeting at seven so we only have until five?”

Sunggyu couldn’t help but smile, seeing how passionate Woohyun was about their day together.

“So did you decide what you wanted to do?” Sunggyu asked as he headed to the kitchen to make Woohyun some hot chocolate.

“Mm…” Woohyun followed him into the kitchen, though it was unnecessary since he could just as easily talk to him from the table. “I thought about it all night and I decided that I’ll be happy doing anything as long as I’m with you.”

Sunggyu paused for a moment, putting down the hot cocoa mix. Then he chuckled and turned to Woohyun, as he leaned against the counter. “So basically you don’t have anything planned?”

Woohyun’s cheeks reddened in embarrassment and he awkwardly opened the fridge to somehow distract himself.

“That’s not…well I just thought you would have some ideas…” He mumbled.

Sunggyu was starting to see another side of how different being with Woohyun was than with someone his own age. He wasn’t what anyone would call a romantic person in any sense of the word, and never really was one to plan out dates and things like that, and usually just let the girl decide. It made him realize that he probably never really put in as much effort as he should’ve on previous girlfriends and dates.

He had to be the one to lead in this situation—after all, he told himself he couldn’t possibly put all that on Woohyun.

“Its just today…when we go back to school, we can’t talk freely and be like this…you know that right?” Sunggyu murmured, though he wondered if he was saying it more as a reminder to himself. Woohyun nodded solemnly, staring at his socks—the snowflake print ones Sunggyu had given him. Sunggyu smiled a little when he noticed, and cleared his throat to garner Woohyun’s attention.

“Anyways, so I didn’t really plan much either…” He explained to Woohyun about his plan to drive to a city nearby so it would be less likely they would see someone they knew.

“But isn’t stuff more expensive there?” Woohyun frowned.

Sunggyu chuckled and patted his head. “Why’re you worrying about that? You’re just a student, its not like I’m gonna make you pay.”

Woohyun breathed a sigh of relief at that. “Ok great, let’s go!”

Sunggyu shook his head and sighed. “You don’t even feel the least bit bad or guilty?”

“Why should I?” Woohyun turned to him, jutting out his lower lip. “I’m just a lowly student and you’re a well paid adult with a job right? Do you want me to go and sell my body to creepy middle aged men in order to afford to take you out to dinner—.”

“Ok I get it!” Sunggyu groaned. “Stop talking like that!” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m going to go get ready…you can use my computer if you want, and make some hot chocolate or anything you need, ok?” He gestured to the kitchen table where his computer was. Woohyun nodded, as he pulled off his padded jacket.

“Ah,” Sunggyu paused as he was making his way out of the living room. “But don’t you dare watch my…” He cleared his throat. “…downloaded materials.”

“Please hyung,” Woohyun waved him off. “Why would I want to watch your lame old fashioned porn, I have a way better collection at home—.” But then Sunggyu gave him an appalled look, and his smile quickly faded. “Uh…I mean what’s porn is it something you can eat?”

Sunggyu snorted, and there was a hint of an amused smile appearing. “Nice save.”

Woohyun smiled and waited for Sunggyu to leave before settling down in front of Sunggyu’s laptop. He decided to find nice places they could go for their date.

He started looking up romantic breakfast places, and soon his searching took him to romantic breakfast in bed ideas. He sighed, wondering when and if he and Sunggyu would ever get to do such a thing.

“Is it possible…for people like us?” Woohyun leaned his elbows on the table, head in hands. Going on dates, holding hands, kissing, touching, going to sleep and waking up next to each other every morning, showing off their relationship to others—he wondered if any of that was something he could ever let himself even dream about. Though, probably not any time soon, he wanted to believe one day, that could be him and Sunggyu—that they could have that kind of future. But before any of that, they hadn’t even reached the first steps, those first steps that they could only reach in two years. He leaned his head on the table, sighing softly, the constant worry that he was the one more invested, the one having more feelings, plagued his mind. “Hyung…will you ever…tell me you love me too?”

§

Woohyun watched Sunggyu steer the car around a bend, and realized he probably really liked Sunggyu when he was driving. But then again, in Woohyun’s imagination, Sunggyu would probably even look attractive while unclogging a toilet. He found himself chuckling in amusement at the thought.

“You’re staring again.” Sunggyu murmured, without taking his eyes off the road.

“What, so now I’m not allowed to stare either?” Woohyun pretended to complain, though he couldn’t possibly find anything to seriously complain about—not with the thought of getting to spend the whole day with Sunggyu hovering over his head like a rainbow after a rainy day.

“Its just…” Sunggyu cleared his throat, feeding into the awkward vibe he was already giving off. “Its…distracting.”

“Distracting?” Woohyun blinked.

Sunggyu decided he didn’t want to continue the conversation and turned on the radio instead. A rather sultry sounding RnB tune stared playing and Sunggyu immediately changed it in a frenzied manner.

“What kind of music are they playing this early in the morning in broad daylight for God’s sake...” He muttered under his breath, making Woohyun chuckle.

§

Sunggyu drove them to an upscale brunch place, and as soon as they stepped inside and a smartly dressed waiter greeted them, Woohyun immediately felt out of place and severely under dressed. They were seated at one of the small rounded, tables that was covered with an ivory table cloth and had a snowy glass vase filled with fresh holly and small white flowers to suit the winter season. Beside the vase was a vanilla scented votive candle in a small glass holder.

As Woohyun looked around, he noticed each table had similar table settings, and there seemed to be mostly (well dressed) couples there.

He turned to Sunggyu, who had already sat down and was staring at him, expectantly.

“Is it ok?” Sunggyu asked, sensing Woohyun’s apprehension.

Woohyun nodded and quickly sat down, awkwardly tugging at the edge of his grey knit sweater. “I just…it feels like I’m underdressed.” He averted his eyes.

Sunggyu smiled, as he flipped through his menu. “You’re fine.”

Woohyun frowned. “You should’ve told me this was…it was this kind of place.” He looked upset as he grabbed his menu and stared at it.

Sunggyu watched him study the menu for a moment before smiling just a bit. He knew Woohyun was clearly not happy, but it still made him feel excited because he felt like he was learning more about Woohyun. It made him realize he didn’t know much about the boy—or at least as much as he thought. He recalled their summer encounters, and how they mostly involved Sunggyu carrying the conversation while Woohyun just…listened.

“How…how did that happen?” He wondered. He hadn’t even realized he had talked so much about himself to Woohyun, since he wasn’t exactly an ‘open book’ type of person, but Woohyun was quite a good listener, so in a way it was only natural.

After the waiter took their orders, Sunggyu waited for him to leave before looking at Woohyun. The boy was absently taking glances around the room at other people, and occasionally he would look out the window—there was a full length one that spanned the whole wall to their right. There was a light snow fall outside, and Woohyun watched as the little flecks of snow fell to the cobblestone.

“Woohyun-ah,” Sunggyu drifted Woohyun’s attention from the snow to him again.

“Hm?” Woohyun smiled softly.

“So…” Sunggyu pursed his lips, as he wrapped his fingers around the warm cup of coffee, the waiter had just brought. “What do you want to do…after you graduate?”

Woohyun stared at him for a moment—and Sunggyu could’ve sworn he looked almost too similar to a lost, frightened bunny about to be captured.

“I thought you were supposed to be a puppy.”

“Huh?” Woohyun blinked.

“Nothing.” Sunggyu cleared his throat, to conceal a smile. “Um, so…what’re your plans?”

Woohyun stared at his lap and then took a sip of his hot chocolate.

Sunggyu had never felt such a daunting silence before and figured that it wasn’t something Woohyun wanted to discuss. But at the same time it made him worried about Woohyun’s future. He made a mental note to discuss it with him later on.

“So uh…you seem to really like soccer?” Sunggyu attempted a topic change.

Unfortunately he didn’t exactly get the response he was hoping for as Woohyun merely nodded and licked some whipped cream from his mug of hot cocoa.

“Are you ok?” He finally asked.

“I’m fine.” Woohyun gave him a small smile that disappeared as soon as it came.

“You don’t seem fine…” Sunggyu muttered under his breath.

Thankfully, the waiter came with their food, and they both had something to focus on for a moment. Sunggyu was unnerved at how badly this was going, and he had no idea how to turn it around.

He stared at Woohyun, rather intensely, until Woohyun put down his spoon, creating a loud enough clanging sound to snap Sunggyu out of his hardened gaze.

“D-Do you…want to ask me something?” Woohyun murmured, as he bit his lip and stared at his plate. Sunggyu noticed the pink dusting the boy’s cheeks and he was pretty sure if his heart was frozen it would’ve melted right there in an instant.

“…No…its just…” Sunggyu tried to think of something to say, but instead he found himself reaching across the table. Woohyun’s eyes squeezed shut as Sunggyu’s thumb rubbed the corner of his mouth. “You just…uh…had a little food there.” Sunggyu lied, and quickly retracted his hand.

“O-Oh…” Woohyun put his fingers to where Sunggyu’s thumb had been mere moments ago. He swallowed, and his heart was thumping out of his chest and he wasn’t quite sure if this was just another dream and he would wake up sweating or crying or with a hand down his pants—it was usually at least one of the three.

“…Woohyun-ah—.”

“Y-Yeah?” Woohyun looked up, almost immediately.

The quick response had Sunggyu smiling slightly. “How’s your food?”

“…Huh?” Woohyun kind of hated the rather whiny sound of disappointment that came out of his mouth. “Oh…its fine.”

Sunggyu sighed. He was running out of conversation starters or basically just anything he could say. “It…w-when you eat, its really cute.” He blurted out.

Woohyun’s cheeks were rosy red at this point as he stared at his plate like it was the most interesting thing in the whole world. “W-What’re you saying…?” He murmured, almost in a whispery tone.

“I just…” Sunggyu bit his lip. “Want to make you smile…”

He watched Woohyun for a moment more, before reaching across the table and ruffling up Woohyun’s hair. “Won’t you smile for me?”

Woohyun whimpered, seemingly from embarrassment and Sunggyu kind of wanted to bite him. “Y-You’re so cute when you smile…can’t you smile for hyung?” Sunggyu felt himself getting embarrassed from his own words, but yet he apparently forgot how to just stop talking and found himself blabbering on. “Woohyunnie—.”

Woohyun suddenly stood up, inadvertently pushing his chair back. “I…b-bathroom, I’m going to the bathroom.” He murmured and quickly hurried off, but not before almost tripping on the table leg.

Sunggyu buried his face in his hands, groaning softly. “I’m so stupid…”

§

Woohyun leaned against the door of the bathroom stall, letting out a loud sigh, as he clutched his chest. His heart was still beating hard, and he didn’t even know why. All Sunggyu did was call him cute twice and asked him to smile for him.

“Ugh” Woohyun clamped his hands to his burning cheeks. For him, it wasn’t exactly something new for someone to call him cute, but coming from Sunggyu it was a completely different story. “Why is he being so forward?” Woohyun wondered, recalling the other morning…

Sunggyu’s gravelly morning voice in his ear.

I don’t think you could handle my kind of discipline.

Woohyun really wished he didn’t think of that right then because it certainly wasn’t helping the heat now coursing through his body. He pulled off his knit sweater, as he had on a navy button up underneath. He started to wonder if Sunggyu was planning something else. He hurriedly patted the black denim pockets of his pants to find some chapstick, but alas he had left it in one of the pockets of his padded jacket, which was on his chair. “No but that’s…he wouldn’t want to kiss me.” Sunggyu himself had told him ‘definitely no kissing’ but Woohyun wondered if he was really going to be that stubborn. He did tell Woohyun no hugs either, yet continued to allow and sometimes even initiate them. Woohyun bit his lip. “Damn it…I…I’m not ready for this.”

§

When Woohyun returned to the table, there was a huge waffle dessert on a plate waiting for him.

“What…what’s this?” Woohyun sat down, trying to remember if he had ordered such a thing. He was momentarily too distracted by the delectable dessert to notice Sunggyu’s guilty expression.

“I…I’m sorry.” Sunggyu sputtered. “I-I didn’t mean to…I said those stupid things—.”

“I don’t think you said anything stupid.” Woohyun interrupted with a frown. “Its not…you didn’t! I…” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“I made you uncomfortable.” Sunggyu murmured.

“No that’s…not it.” A faint smile colored Woohyun’s lips as he gazed at the melting cream between the waffles. “I was just…I’m not used to this. Before you were kind of distant and kept trying to push me away and today you’re…you’re being so nice to me.” He bit his lip. “I…is it stupid that I feel so happy that its overwhelming?”

Sunggyu’s heart fluttered like a baby butterfly, as he watched Woohyun quietly poke at the waffles.

“Why is he so…so precious?” Sunggyu made a mental note to say nice things to Woohyun once in a while. He wanted to preserve this sweet side of Woohyun’s for as long as he could. Because in his experience, things like sweetness and innocence don’t last forever—and when they’re gone you can’t get them back.


	11. Only today

Sunggyu and Woohyun walked side-by-side through the shopping center that was nearby to the restaurant. Woohyun found himself continuously glancing at Sunggyu’s hand, just barely brushing his. He wondered if Sunggyu was doing it on purpose, but then Sunggyu stuck his hands in his pockets and Woohyun’s hopes were dashed.

“So,” Sunggyu cleared his throat.

“Hm?” Woohyun looked up at him.

“Uh…” Sunggyu glanced in the window of a clothing store they passed. “Do you want something? I can…buy it for you.”

“You don’t have to buy me anything.” Woohyun chuckled. “You already got me all those Christmas presents and breakfast too.”

“Well yeah, but…” Sunggyu awkwardly fiddled with the ends of his scarf. “I-I don’t know…I just…wanted to get you something.”

Woohyun looked down at the slightly frosted cement under his shoes. “Next week,” He announced. “Give me your Sunday.”

Sunggyu sighed. “No…I told you, its only today that we’re going to get to spend time together like this—.”

“Well fine then, I don’t want anything.” Woohyun murmured, shoving his fists in his jacket pockets. “The only thing I wanted was to be with you.” He bit his lip for a moment, feeling a hot flush take over his cold cheeks. “I just want to spend time with you…” Suddenly he felt Sunggyu’s hand gently rubbing the back of his head and Sunggyu was smiling apologetically at him.

“Well we have today.” Sunggyu told him. “So if there’s anything you want to do today, we’ll do it.”

Woohyun pursed his lips for a moment. “…Anything?”

“Well not _anything_.” Sunggyu shot him a suspicious stare and Woohyun couldn’t help but laugh.

“Why do you keep looking at me like I’m some hormonal teenage boy?”

“That’s because you are.” Sunggyu sighed.

Woohyun seemed to be legitimately thinking about Sunggyu’s words for a while, and it almost made Sunggyu concerned.

“You…you don’t have to take it so seriously—.”

“Fair enough.” Woohyun nodded finally. “But I bet once you know me better you won’t think like that.” He told the older man in an almost determined manner like he was sure he would prove it to Sunggyu.

However, as Sunggyu watched him walk ahead, with a somewhat awkward gait (that almost made it seem like he was trying too hard to seem cool), Sunggyu felt somewhat guilty. Woohyun’s words somehow made him feel like he had disappointed the boy in some way.

“ _I didn’t mean it that way though…”_ Sunggyu pursed his slightly chapped lips, walking past Woohyun who had stopped to catch some snowflakes in his hand. He paused in his steps for a moment so Woohyun could catch up. “You’re…you’re more than that.” He murmured out loud.

“Hm?” Woohyun looked up at him. “Did you say something?”

“N-Nothing.” Sunggyu cleared his throat, feeling far too embarrassed to repeat himself.

§

They walked through the stores in the shopping center, not really buying anything, and not really talking at all. Woohyun felt like the silence was becoming stifling so he grabbed an elephant plush off a shelf of the gifts shop they were in, and turned around in an attempt to start a random conversation. However as he did so, he realized Sunggyu wasn’t standing behind him…or anywhere for that matter.

“…hyung?” Woohyun murmured, his heart suddenly thudding painfully in his chest. This was just like the many dreams he had with Sunggyu suddenly disappearing without notice. He was starting to wonder if this really _was_ all just a dream and he was going to wake up in tears like the pathetic loser, he suddenly felt he was. His throat went dry as he absently clutched tighter to the elephant plush, as he hurried through the aisles.

“ _D-Don’t be gone…_ ” He almost stumbled, wrought with worry. “ _D-Don’t leave me hyung—.”_

Suddenly two hands were covering his eyes and then he panicked even more, wondering if he was going to be kidnapped just to top off this horrible nightmare.

But then he heard a soft chuckle and a little, “Surprise!” in his ear and quickly turned around. Sunggyu was smiling rather cutely at him, and Woohyun felt like he had just went on an emotional roller coaster. His lower lip trembled as he looked up at Sunggyu with watery eyes. He opened his mouth to say something but his throat was too dry and all that came out was a hoarse whisper.

Sunggyu looked at Woohyun’s rather pitiful expression, coupled with the elephant plush he was clutching onto and the reindeer antler headband he had just put on the boy’s head.

“Um…” He smiled a little. “Are you ok—?”

But Woohyun just glared at him rather defiantly and stomped off. Sunggyu started to panic, wondering what exactly he did wrong. He didn’t think headbands with felt reindeer antlers attached could possibly offend a person to such a degree.

“Ah!” Sunggyu grinned and quickly caught up to Woohyun. “You want to get this?” He poked the elephant plushie in Woohyun’s arms. Woohyun, himself didn’t even realize he was still holding onto it and threw it on a random shelf and pulled off the headband and stormed out of the shop.

Sunggyu sighed, rubbing the back of his head in confusion.

“ _Damn…what’d I do now_?”

§

Sunggyu found Woohyun sitting on a bench in the middle of the shopping center. He was sitting with his arms folded because of the cold. Sunggyu sighed and sat down beside him, causing Woohyun to look up.

“Here.” Sunggyu handed Woohyun a paper bag that had the elephant plush in it. “I got you this.”

“I don’t want it.” Woohyun murmured. “Please take it back.”

“Fine, I can get back my money then.” Sunggyu folded his arms. “What happened? Why’re you so upset? Do you hate reindeer antlers—?”

“Its not that!” Woohyun groaned, averting his eyes. “Its…I—I thought you left.”

“…Left?”

“Me…I thought you left _me_.” Woohyun fiddled with his mitten clad fingers. “You disappeared so I thought…a-anyways it doesn’t matter I’m just being dumb as usual I guess—.”

Sunggyu suddenly grabbed the back of Woohyun’s head and pulled him into his shoulder. Woohyun was obviously taken off guard, but he was so close to Sunggyu’s chest and it was warm and comforting and he felt like he could almost hear his heart beat.

“I’m sorry.” Sunggyu murmured as he rubbed Woohyun’s shoulder. “I had no idea…you think so much about things…I guess I’m just not used to someone like you.”

Woohyun bit his lip, hesitantly clutching onto the end of Sunggyu’s jacket.

“Is that…bad?”

“No, of course not.” Sunggyu sighed softly. “I’m just—I’m still learning, so be patient with me ok?”

Woohyun felt himself smiling in relief as he buried his cold pink nose into Sunggyu’s chest.

§

After looking around in the stores a bit more, they decided to go to the movie theater that was in the shopping center. After deciding on the movie they wanted to watch and getting their tickets, they stopped by the snack counter.

“I’ll get the popcorn, you can go in and find seats.” Sunggyu told Woohyun, but the boy simply followed him to the line and stood beside him. “What’re you doing?” Sunggyu turned to him and frowned.

“If this is our only day we’ll get to spend like this…” Woohyun pouted stubbornly and latched onto Sunggyu’s arm. “I want to be with you for every second…I don’t want to waste anytime by being apart.”

Sunggyu smiled a bit, despite himself. “You’re so clingy.” He murmured, but made no implications that Woohyun should leave or let go of him. But then a noisy group of teenagers entered the theater, and Woohyun reluctantly let go of Sunggyu’s arm on his own, quietly clearing his throat in embarrassment.

“ _So you get embarrassed too Woohyun-ah…”_ Sunggyu thought, gazing at Woohyun’s slightly awkward stance. But then he recalled how easily he had managed to fluster Woohyun in the past few days, and couldn’t help but think that just made him feel like Woohyun was even more precious. He didn’t even realize he was smiling softly at Woohyun until the guy at the cash register yelled out an abrupt, “Next!”

Sunggyu gasped, almost stumbling on his feet as he hurried to the counter to make his order. Woohyun smiled amusingly and followed after him.

§

They settled down in the rather empty, dark theater with their large tub of popcorn, two sodas, and box of chocolate covered raisins. Woohyun was rather relieved to see not many others in the theater (aside from an elderly couple all the way in the back seats and a young twenty-something couple sitting all the way in the front. Mainly because it meant it was more likely that Sunggyu would let him touch him. He really wanted to hold Sunggyu’s hand and this felt like the perfect opportunity to do so. But as he reached for Sunggyu’s hand that was on the arm rest, a loud action movie trailer blared, startling Woohyun.

The boy sighed and resigned himself to eating the chocolates and popcorn. But then Sunggyu turned to him and smiled.

“Are you ok?”

“Huh?” Woohyun turned to him, amazed at how Sunggyu’s smile seemed to dazzle even more in the dark. He quickly nodded and focused his attention on the screen—or well he tried to. But any attempt at that was instantly dashed when he felt Sunggyu’s long fingers slip under his chin, tilting his face so he was looking at Sunggyu again. Woohyun was pretty sure he wasn’t breathing and Sunggyu’s gaze was making him melt inside and he felt his ears burning. And everything became worse when he noticed Sunggyu leaning closer and he wasn’t sure what going into cardiac arrest felt like but he was almost starting to believe that could be something that was happening to him at that moment. He didn’t realize he had shut his eyes when he felt Sunggyu’s breath hot on his skin, voice whispering in his ear.

“Are you hungry?”

Woohyun could only manage some sort of annoying squeak-like sound in response that almost made him want to jump in a deep, dark hole and never come out.

“W-What?” He finally managed to utter out, in a somewhat breathless tone. He only then opened his eyes to see Sunggyu, now holding a piece of popcorn in front of his lips.

“Ahh,” Sunggyu made a gesture that implied Woohyun should open his mouth. Woohyun obediently complied and let Sunggyu feed him the popcorn, but not without his heart beating out of his chest. He could no longer pay attention to the movie anymore, he had not idea if it had even started, but all he knew was that he really, really didn’t want it to end. But at the same time he wished it would be over and this day would be over so he could go home and bury his face in his pillow because this was all too much.

“ _W-Was it really necessary to…do that?”_ Woohyun put his fingers to his mouth, replaying Sunggyu’s actions just now over and over again in his mind. He just couldn’t understand why Sunggyu decided out of nowhere to do _any_ of what he just did—touching his chin like that, looking at him like that, whispering in his ear like that, feeding him the popcorn like that (which made absolutely no sense whatsoever because _Woohyun_ was the one holding the popcorn container.) Woohyun wanted to hate Sunggyu, he really did. Who was Sunggyu to suddenly completely make him lose his mind with such simple, seemingly meaningless gestures?

But at the same time…he felt himself getting weak at the thought of Sunggyu trying something else—something _more_. It kind of scared him that he realized he would probably let Sunggyu do whatever he wanted. He suddenly felt so vulnerable and with no form of protection for his heart.

Sunggyu already had it—he had completely stolen Woohyun’s heart and Woohyun didn’t know what to do.

Suddenly he felt a gentle hand on his head. “Hey,” Sunggyu whispered. “You ok?”

Woohyun gulped. Sunggyu must’ve noticed him not paying attention to the movie in the slightest, he figured.

“Uh…mmn.” He murmured.

“Hm?” Sunggyu leaned closer, and Woohyun wondered why the older man had suddenly seemed to forget about the concept of personal space. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to pull away—why would he when he really just wanted to be as close as possible to Sunggyu. He suddenly lunged forward, wrapping his arms around Sunggyu’s waist, his face buried into the slight folds of Sunggyu’s maroon sweater.

“What’re you doing?” He heard Sunggyu chuckle softly in amusement. “Yah, are you even watching the movie?”

Woohyun suddenly pulled back slightly, staring into Sunggyu’s eyes with a sudden intensity and determination. But the second he leaned even an inch closer, Sunggyu clamped a hand over his face.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Sunggyu frowned, after Woohyun finally (reluctantly) backed away.

“I just…not even here?” Woohyun mumbled. “I-Its dark…”

Sunggyu snorted. “You think its ok because no one can see?”

Woohyun bit his lip, half embarrassed and half disappointed. He couldn’t even look up and kept his gaze on his lap until he lost track of time, buried in his thoughts. He had no idea how far along the movie even was at this point and couldn’t care less.

“I…I don’t know. Its not…fair.” Woohyun finally whispered, pulling at the sleeves of his sweater, awkwardly. “Why do you…why are you the only one that gets to…” Suddenly he felt the weight of Sunggyu’s head leaning heavily on his shoulder. Then he heard a slight snore.

Sunggyu had fallen asleep.

Woohyun sighed in disappointment, but he couldn’t help a small smile.

“ _He must’ve been tired…waking up early to look up places and driving me everywhere and dealing with my mood swings…”_ Woohyun thought, gently touching Sunggyu’s hand that was on the arm rest, before clutching onto it and entangling their fingers. He liked the feeling of Sunggyu’s hair brushing across his cheek. “Hyung,” He whispered, though he was pretty sure Sunggyu couldn’t hear him. “…I love you.”

§

“Man, I can’t believe I slept through half the movie…” Sunggyu sighed as they walked out of the theater.

“Its ok, you didn’t miss much.” Woohyun smiled brightly.

Sunggyu frowned. “So it wasn’t a good movie?”

“Well,” Woohyun chuckled, keeping the memory of Sunggyu sleeping on his shoulder and (sneakily) getting to hold hands with him, fondly to himself. “It had its good parts too.”

“So which is it then…?” Sunggyu muttered, wondering why Woohyun was acting so weird. But then again it was _Woohyun_ , so he didn’t bother thinking much of it. “Hey, are you hungry?” Sunggyu asked, realizing there was only half an hour left of their time together.

“No I’m ok.” Woohyun nodded, still gazing dreamily at Sunggyu.

“Ok, I guess I’ll just drop you off back at your house then.”

That successfully snapped Woohyun out of his daze as he hurried to catch up to Sunggyu. “W-What?”

“Its 4:30.” Sunggyu grinned. “We should be heading back…but we can pick up something to eat on the way.”

Woohyun’s shoulders immediately slumped. “It…its already over, it feels like we didn’t get to do enough…”

“Ok, then.” Sunggyu patted his back, comfortingly. “What else did you want to do? If its something quick—.”

“There’s nothing…” Woohyun mumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I just…wanted to be with you more. Time went by too fast.”

Sunggyu affectionately ruffled his hair. “I’m sorry Woohyun-ah…”

“Then…” Woohyun smiled hopefully. “Next week, can we—?”

“No.”

§

A bit of traffic delayed their trip back home and the winter sky was already dark as Sunggyu steered the car onto Woohyun’s street. Woohyun had fallen asleep at the passenger’s seat—all tuckered out from their day out.

Sunggyu leaned over and tapped Woohyun’s shoulder. “Woohyun-ah…”

“Hm?” The boy hummed, groggily.

“We’re at your place.” Sunggyu smiled softly. He had stopped the car a few houses down at the street corner. “Is it ok if I drop you off here?”

Woohyun nodded, sleepily and undid his seatbelt. He turned to Sunggyu and frowned.

“Will I ever get to see you again?”

“What’re you talking about?” Sunggyu laughed. “You’ll see me at school.” But Woohyun’s expression didn’t change a bit and Sunggyu sighed. “Not like this…”

Woohyun nodded. “Well if that’s the case…” He reached across the seat and hugged Sunggyu—because he wasn’t sure when he would get to again—and breathed in Sunggyu’s comforting scent as he rested his cheek against the older man’s chest for a moment.

He didn’t feel Sunggyu return the hug, and that left his heart slightly empty but he wouldn’t let it affect him. One day, he was sure they wouldn’t have to be apart—one day Sunggyu would hug him back with just as much affection, and one day Sunggyu would tell him he loved him. One day…Woohyun wanted to believe that.

He let go, and smiled softly at Sunggyu, who’s expression was for the most part blank.

“Thank you for today hyung…get home safely.” He turned for the door, when Sunggyu suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him in again—in an almost desperate manner. Woohyun was at first taken off guard, at Sunggyu’s arms holding him so closely, but he quickly clutched onto the folds of Sunggyu’s jacket, pressing closer. Sunggyu didn’t say anything, but for Woohyun it was almost unnecessary. Because the way Sunggyu held his waist, and stroked his hair softly was enough for Woohyun to know that he cared—that Sunggyu wanted to be with him just as much—that he would miss him too.

After what felt like too quickly for Woohyun, Sunggyu pulled away, but he was still stroking Woohyun’s hair softly. He smiled one of those irresistible smiles that made his eyes disappear and made Woohyun’s insides turn to mush.

“Woohyunnie…” He spoke in a hushed tone, as if he were about to spill a secret that no one else was allowed to hear. “Go inside.”

Woohyun nodded, but he didn’t know how he could leave when Sunggyu’s warm hand was on his cheek now. “Hyung…” He looked down for a moment before meeting Sunggyu’s eyes. “Please…wait for me.”

Sunggyu just smiled—and Woohyun felt like it meant he would atleast try, and that, Sunggyu, in his heart, genuinely wanted to.

“Its cold, go inside Woohyun-ah.”

§

 Woohyun felt like he was walking on fluffy cotton candy clouds as he made his way towards his house. But as soon as he approached his home, he spotted Sungyeol and Myungsoo at the porch, waiting for him.

“Yah,” Sungyeol immediately walked up to him as soon as Woohyun came into their view. “Where the hell were you? Myungsoo was worried sick!”

Woohyun could only stare at the two, bewildered. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to see that he had a bunch of missed calls and unread texts. He hadn’t even thought of checking his phone and had kept it on silent the whole day.

“Sorry…” He mumbled. “It was on silent—.”

“Are you ok?” Myungsoo asked, worriedly.

“Of course.” Woohyun smiled. “I’m fine, I just went out…”

“Went out where? With who?” Sungyeol questioned. He seemed rather annoyed and impatient.

“Uh…just, you know.” Woohyun shrugged.

“No we don’t _know_.” Sungyeol retorted, bluntly. “Because you just disappeared for the whole damn day and didn’t tell us anything. You know you’ve been acting weird for a while now and—.”

“Sungyeol…” Myungsoo touched his arm to calm him down. Then he turned to Woohyun, but he didn’t smile like he usually would have. “Are you sure you’re ok?”

Woohyun couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why’re you guys acting so weird, you’re not my parents…I can handle being on my own for a day—.”

“No you can’t!” Sungyeol interrupted. “You’re stupid and you’ve been acting weird lately and we’re…we’re worried about you ok? We…we worry about you _ok_ stupid?”

Woohyun looked from Myungsoo to Sungyeol and instantly felt guilty. “I’m…sorry.” He gestured to his house. “Want to come in?”

“…So who were you out with?” Sungyeol questioned, as they stood behind Woohyun, waiting for him to unlock the door.

“Uh…huh?” Woohyun cleared his throat. “W-What? No I uh…remember I said I was by myself—.”

“Yeah right, you don’t like going out alone.” Sungyeol snorted.

“Sometimes…I like time to myself too.” Woohyun quickly unlocked the door and let them in.

“Was it Nari?” Myungsoo smiled as they followed Woohyun into the kitchen after discarding of their shoes at the entrance way. “Weren’t you supposed to go out with her if she did well on her test or something like that?”

“Ah…” Woohyun had completely forgotten about that one-sided deal Nari had made with him. But surely, she wouldn’t force him to go out with her just because of a test grade, he assumed. “No it…was just me.”

“Eyy…” Sungyeol nudged him. “You sure about that?”

“You guys aren’t going to believe anything I say anyways.” Woohyun grinned and opened up the fridge to get them some snacks. “Ah…I just realized, this is your first time in my house, isn’t it?”

Sungyeol and Myungsoo exchanged sheepish glances.

“Uh yeah…we kind did a little online stalking to find your address…” Myungsoo admitted. “Since you kind of…never told us.”

“Ah…” Woohyun rubbed the back of his neck, averting his eyes. “Sorry I guess it just never came up. A-Anyways I should give you the grand tour!”

§

Sunggyu’s meeting that evening took place at a popular upscale restaurant. He sighed as he adjusted his tie and opened his car door.

As he made his way across the parking lot towards the restaurant, he attempted to convince himself that it was the right thing that he didn’t tell Woohyun that his “meeting” was actually a blind date with another woman his mother had set him up with. It would only upset Woohyun, he told himself. And besides, he was almost one hundred percent sure that nothing would come of this date, and that after tonight he would go on his way, living life as he always had.

But at the same time Woohyun’s pitiful, “ _Please wait for me…”_ from earlier played over and over in his head and tugged at his heartstrings until he was feeling super guilty even though he hadn’t actually done anything wrong… _yet._


	12. Hard to breathe

The next morning, school was back in session and Sunggyu really wasn’t prepared for early mornings and working all day again. He quite liked his little winter vacation, though he didn’t get to sleep in as much as he would’ve liked. (Woohyun was part of the reason for that but he found he didn’t regret it in the least.)

As he walked past the school gates, along with students, who greeted him politely as they passed, he felt a pesky feeling like someone was watching him. He looked up from his phone for a moment, and noticed Woohyun, along with his friends walking a little bit behind him. Sungyeol was cracking some sort of joke, Myungsoo was laughing and shaking his head, but Woohyun was staring straight at Sunggyu. However, the moment Sunggyu turned around and noticed them, Woohyun looked away.

As the three students passed, while Sungyeol and Myungsoo bowed to him in greeting, Woohyun didn’t even bother glancing in his general direction. But Sunggyu found himself breathing a sigh of relief. To him, it meant Woohyun hadn’t misunderstood what had happened between them during the break, and wasn’t acting out of the ordinary.

That was what he had _thought_ at the time.

However, in class Woohyun blatantly ignored him, staring out the window and had his headphones on for the duration of class.

“ _Great…”_ Sunggyu thought. “ _What happened to him now?”_

§

He found Woohyun sitting on the school roof alone at lunch time. He wasn’t eating anything and merely stood at the railing, looking up at the sky. Sunggyu watched him for a moment, and noticed Woohyun suddenly grab his backpack from the floor and pull out a notebook. He proceeded to scribble something down with so much vigor that Sunggyu felt it would be awkward to interrupt him.

But his lunch time was limited and he wanted to figure out why Woohyun seemed to be angry with him. So he cleared his throat, startling Woohyun, who dropped his pen.

He stared at Sunggyu wide-eyed for a moment, before grabbing his pen and shoving it along with his notebook back in his backpack.

Sunggyu expected him to say something, but instead Woohyun regarded him with disdain and pulled his bag over his shoulder to leave.

“What happened?” Sunggyu finally came out and asked. “Are you angry with me—?”

“I already know.” Woohyun interrupted, in a huffy manner. “I already knew so you don’t have to treat me like I’m a stupid kid.” He muttered and hastily brushed past Sunggyu. But Sunggyu managed to grip onto his arm before he could get away.

“What’re you talking about—?”

“Last night…I thought about it all night and…what kind of business meeting could you have at seven at night?” Woohyun muttered. “It…it was a date, wasn’t it?”

Sunggyu’s eyes widened momentarily, as he certainly didn’t expect Woohyun to figure it out.

Woohyun snorted, and pulled away from Sunggyu. “I can’t believe you—.”

“W-Wait!” Sunggyu exclaimed, tugging tighter to Woohyun’s arm. “Just…let me explain. I…it was a blind date. My mother set it up—.”

“Fine…it’s the same as always isn’t it?” Woohyun refused to meet Sunggyu’s pleading gaze. “I guess I’m the idiot for thinking…” He choked a bit on his words. “That maybe _our_ day meant something to you…that maybe you also—forget it…I’m just a stupid kid you forced yourself to babysit before going on your _real_ date with some woman—.”

“Stop!” Sunggyu argued. “I don’t think you’re a stupid kid! Why do you keep saying stuff like that—?”

“Because that’s all I am to you, isn’t it?” Woohyun blurted out, hating how his voice cracked and made him sound whinier.

“No.” Sunggyu pulled on Woohyun’s arm, to get the boy to face him. “We…the day we spent together was—I enjoyed it a lot. It was…I didn’t feel like I was babysitting you or that you’re a dumb kid—.”

“Then kiss me!” Woohyun suddenly yelled. “I-If you don’t see me as a kid then…”

Sunggyu stared at him flabbergasted. “Y-Yah…” He swallowed. “Y-You know I can’t do that. How can you…even say that to me.” He stared at some water droplets running down the railing from the light rain earlier that morning.

“…You’re right.” Woohyun said quietly. “I…that was wrong. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”

Sunggyu frowned. “Woohyun-ah...”

“Just…” Woohyun’s lower lip trembled. “Why didn’t you just tell me? I…I thought you were going to tell me things.”

“I don’t know,” Sunggyu rubbed the back of his neck, sighing softly. “I thought you would get unnecessarily jealous so I figured there was no point. Besides it was just a one time thing—.”

“So you’re not going to see her again?” Woohyun instantly brightened up.

“Well…” Sunggyu smiled sheepishly. “Actually…she uh asked to see me again.”

He could already sense Woohyun’s mood turning sour, but for some reason he found it somewhat amusing.

“ _And?_ What did you say?” Woohyun folded his arms. “Are you going to see her again? Did you make plans with her? Did you kiss her?”

Sunggyu was unable to suppress a chuckle and patted Woohyun’s head. “Sometimes you’re really cute, you know that?”

Woohyun blinked, taken off guard for a moment, before a shy smile overtook his face.

“Hyung.” He practically giggled.

“I have to go, lunch break’s almost over.” Sunggyu rubbed his cheek. “Pay attention in class, ok?”

Only after Sunggyu left, did Woohyun realize the older man hadn’t answered any of his questions.

§

Woohyun sat in the library after school, still commiserating about Sunggyu’s date the night before.

“ _Did they kiss…?”_ He balanced his pencil on his upper lip. “ _Did hyung want to kiss her? Did she want to kiss him? Damn it I don’t even know what she looks like…maybe they’ll kiss on their next date…”_ He frowned, trying to imagine it. “ _What if…what if they sleep together—?”_

“So what answer did you get for number 11?” Sungyeol groaned, as Myungsoo stared expectantly at Woohyun. However Woohyun didn’t seem to notice and continued attempting to imagine various scenarios involving Sunggyu and the mysterious woman he went out with.

“Yah!” Sungyeol threw a pencil at Woohyun’s head, successfully snapping the boy out of his delusions.

“What?” Woohyun blinked, eyeing the black mechanical pencil.

“Pay attention stupid. The test is tomorrow and knowing you, you probably haven’t even studied.” Sungyeol sighed.

“That’s…” Woohyun pouted, averting his eyes. “Not true…I—.”

“Oh yeah?” Sungyeol leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. “Then what test are we studying for?”

Woohyun stared at him for a moment, mouth agape. “Uh…” He glanced at Myungsoo, hoping the other boy would give him some kind of hint. Myungsoo subtly gestured to the calculator beside him to help him. “H-History!” Woohyun blurted out.

Sungyeol rolled his eyes, exchanging a somewhat tired look with Myungsoo.

“Actually, I don’t even think this amount of studying will help you…”

“D-Don’t be like that guys!” Woohyun whined. “What time period are we studying about?” He flipped through his text book hastily.

“Math!” Myungsoo suddenly yelled out, the frustration from endless studying finally getting to him. “We’re studying for a fucking math test!”

Everyone in the library stared at them for a moment, before the librarian shushed them and sent them a warning glare.

Woohyun and Sungyeol stared at Myungsoo for a moment in shock.

“Well congrats…” Sungyeol snorted. “You finally broke Myungsoo.”

“I’m sorry.” Woohyun apologized to his dark haired friend with a sheepish smile as he held out his hand to hold Myungsoo’s. “I’ll pay attention this time Myungsoo, I promise.”

Myungsoo sighed and nodded reluctantly.

§

After an hour of studying (or well attempting to) the three boys decided to call it a day—well that and the librarian got annoyed with them and “suggested” they find some place else to go.

“Hey…isn’t that Ssaem?” Sungyeol suddenly said, as they were packing their books and school supplies into their backpacks. Woohyun instantly dropped his pencil to the floor and looked up far too quickly. He looked in the direction Sungyeol was pointing at to see the back of a man in grey slacks and a white button up sitting at one of the single tables, back turned to them. His shirt sleeves were folded to his elbows—Woohyun noticed it especially since he had his arms crossed over the table, with his head resting on top of them.

“Is he sleeping?” Myungsoo chuckled.

Sungyeol grinned, mischievously, “We should totally mess with him—.”

“No!” Woohyun suddenly gasped, earning strange looks from his two friends. “Uh…” He cleared his throat and hastily shoved his books into his backpack. “I-I mean…who cares about him. He’s weird, let’s just go.”

“Whatever.” Sungyeol shrugged, as the two taller boys began walking towards the entrance.

“Uh, you guys go ahead….I have a book I’m gonna check out.” Woohyun called after them.

“ _You’re_ reading?” Sungyeol eyed him in surprise, and then turned to Myungsoo. “I think we’ve officially seen it all.”

“That….or someone exchanged our friend, Nam Woohyun with someone else.” Myungsoo joked. Woohyun stuck his tongue out at them and they laughed, before leaving him behind. After they left, Woohyun quickly searched his backpack for something.

§

Sunggyu hadn’t even realized he had fallen asleep grading papers in the library until the librarian announced over the loud speaker that the library would be closing in fifteen minutes. He sat up straight in his chair and blinked sleepily.

“ _Damn…how long was I out for?”_ He looked around, only half-conscious. But then he noticed some melon bread packed in clear plastic by his papers. He stared at it curiously, attempting to recall if he had brought such a thing with him. He picked it up and turned it over absently, to see a yellow note taped on, written neatly in blue ink pen.

**A little snack for when Gyu hyung wakes up!**

**Hyung works too hard I feel tired just looking at you** ㅋㅋㅋ

**But why do I feel energized looking at hyung too?** ♡

**Is this Gyu hyung’s magic power? I’m under your spell!!**

**I won’t get jealous of whoever you date, I promise! Because I want Gyu hyung to like me more too so one day hyung can be under my spell too** ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

\-- **N.W.H** ♡

_“…Forget the stupid bread I just want to bite him instead..”_ Sunggyu thought to himself and then buried his face into his hands, smiling beside himself. “ _Crap…why…why is he so annoyingly adorable…?"_

§

The next morning, the moment Woohyun stepped through the school gates, Nari appeared in front of him, stopping him in his tracks.

She stared at him anxiously for a moment before shoving a piece of paper in his face. He backed away a bit as he took it and read it. It was Nari’s test score and it was a 95%.

“I-I got more than 90%!” She exclaimed in a shaky manner. “S-So you have to go out with me now! It was a deal!”

Woohyun blinked, taken off guard for a moment. “Um—.”

“After school!” She stammered. “L-Let’s go to a coffee shop!”

Woohyun could only silently nod as he watched her stumble off in a flustered manner. He sighed and rubbed the back of his head, unsure of whether he even had a choice in the matter.

§

Woohyun noticed Sunggyu appeared to be in a particularly good mood that morning in class, and it only made his mind race with ideas of what he did the night before.

He figured Sunggyu went on a date with that woman after he had finished grading papers in the library, and maybe they had a really great time—or worse slept together.

Woohyun sunk down in his seat for the duration of class.

He was so involved in his thoughts, he hadn’t even noticed class had ended and everyone had already left.

Sunggyu sat at his desk, watching Woohyun look out the window in a daze for a moment.

He finally decided to clear his throat, garnering Woohyun’s attention. Woohyun looked around the classroom, realizing everyone else had left and sighed softly.

“Class is over.” Sunggyu suddenly said, rather curtly. “Leave.”

Woohyun sat for a moment more before getting up from his desk and picking up his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. He walked across the aisle of seats towards Sunggyu’s desk and stopped when he was right in front of the teacher’s desk.

Sunggyu looked up, meeting Woohyun’s gaze, however Woohyun’s expression was quite blank.

“…Sunsaeng-nim,” He murmured, staring at the floor for a moment. He looked like he desperately wanted to say something but instead he didn’t and muttered a quiet ‘have a good day’ and headed for the door.

“Woohyun-ah,” Sunggyu called out, stopping Woohyun in his tracks. He hesitantly turned around.

“…Y-Yes?”

Sunggyu smiled a little bit. “The melon bread…” He nodded awkwardly. “It was…good.”

Woohyun’s mood instantly brightened and he clutched tighter to his backpack straps.

“Y-You liked it?” He blurted out, attempting to keep his excitement under control.

Sunggyu chuckled softly. “Don’t do things like that anymore, ok?”

“…Huh?” Woohyun’s smile faded as he watched Sunggyu get up from his desk. “But…you just said—.” Suddenly Sunggyu was standing right in front of him and Woohyun found himself slightly stumbling backwards when Sunggyu took another step forward. Woohyun almost tripped on his own feet but Sunggyu grabbed onto his arm just in time. Woohyun started to murmur out a thank you, but then he felt Sunggyu pulling him closer and soft breathing in his ear.

“Don’t do things like that anymore…” Sunggyu whispered in his ear. “Because then I might really fall under your spell Nam Woohyun.”

Woohyun kept his eyes on the floor for a minute, before shyly looking up at Sunggyu with a half smiling, half terrified look like he wasn’t quite sure how to properly function anymore. He let out an awkward chuckle and when Sunggyu patted his head he unintentionally whimpered and backed away in a frenzied manner. But he wasn’t exactly conscious of what he was doing and tripped backwards, landing on his butt with a slight groan.

“Are you ok?” Sunggyu tried to keep his amusement to himself as he knelt down to help Woohyun up. He held out his hand but Woohyun just sat there, his bangs covering his eyes and his palms pressed to the floor on either side of him.

“F-Fine…” Woohyun murmured. “Y-You can just leave me, I’ll be fine.”

“Dummy,” Sunggyu chuckled, softly. “I can’t leave, you’re blocking the door.”

Woohyun hesitantly looked up with a sheepish smile but as soon as he met Sunggyu’s somewhat gentle gaze he felt his cheeks redden with heat and scooted farter away so his back was pressed to the door. He had one leg folded to his stomach and the other stretched out in front of him as Sunggyu scooted closer in front of him and rested a hand on the boy’s knee.

The sun was setting, casting the classroom with a soft reddish-orange glow.

“Woohyun-ah…” Sunggyu tried to look at Woohyun’s face, but the boy wouldn’t look up as his dark bangs cast a slight shadow over his eyes. He held out his hand, carefully cupping Woohyun’s cheek, before slipping his hand lower to raise his chin up so he could see Woohyun’s pink stained cheeks. It was one of those times he had to bite his lip to remind himself of self control.

“Is this…” Woohyun nervously looked at him, eyes glassy. “A dream?”

 “Why do you always say things like that?” Sunggyu couldn’t help a slight smile, as he absently let his thumb rub Woohyun’s chin. “That…this is a dream?”

“Because…” Woohyun held onto Sunggyu’s wrist, slightly pulling it away from his chin and looked at his hand thoughtfully. “It…we’re in school and—and you’re,” He met Sunggyu’s gaze. “You’re looking at me like that and I…I’m finding it really hard to breathe right now.”

“Trust me, if this was a dream…I would’ve kissed you already.” Sunggyu suddenly said. Woohyun wasn’t quite sure if he heard him correctly and dumbly watched Sunggyu get up, before slowly scrambling to his feet as well.

“Wha…what?” He breathed, his heart beating even faster than before as he watched Sunggyu return to his desk and shuffle some papers.

“N-Nothing. Class is over, leave.”

Woohyun watched him for a moment more, with a look that was drenched in yearning.

The moment he left, Sunggyu sunk down into his chair, clamping his head into his hands.

“ _Damn it…”_ He bit his lip. “ _Why the hell did I say that…? I’m supposed to be the mature one…the one in control but then I go and say and do stupid, reckless things like that…”_ He stared at the door Woohyun had exited from minutes ago, wondering how much longer he was going to be able to keep going like this without seriously screwing everything up. 


	13. Moving on

Woohyun spent the rest of the day in a daze and when Nari dragged him to a café after school, he numbly followed her.

They went to a nearby café—the walls were painted a pastel pink and featured delicacies such as macarons and latte art.

As soon as they sat down at white lacy cushion adorned seats, Nari gasped.

“W-Wait is this like…making you feel uncomfortable?” She panicked. “Th-The décor and...d-do you like sweets?” She averted his eyes, cursing to herself. “I-I didn’t even think about that damn it...”

Woohyun merely smiled and nodded. “Its ok I don’t mind.”

But the disappointment didn’t leave her face in the least. “You hate it…th-this is probably too girly and stuff...”

“Its ok if you like it.” Woohyun assured her rather calmly, but then she blushed and Woohyun realized that probably wasn’t the best thing to say. He didn’t want to be rude to her, but at the same time he didn’t want to lead her on. He took one of the pastel pink lace adorned menus and looked through it. He couldn’t help but feel Nari’s eyes on him the whole time, though, as a warm patch of sunshine glowed over him. He glanced at her for a moment, smiling awkwardly “Is everything ok?”

“Y-You’re beautiful!” She blurted out and proceeded to grab her menu and bury her whole face in it.

Woohyun had no idea what to say. “ _Well…at least this can’t get anymore awkward.”_

§

Thankfully, things became less awkward and Nari seemed to calm down and act…well not as frazzled. However she was still quite talkative as she proceeded to tell Woohyun about her family (dad, mom, little sister, potted plant named Maeumi), her first time she learned how to swim, how she studied for tests, and her trip to Jeju Island when she almost hit a fifty-year-old man with a coconut filled with expensive jewels.

“You know, you’re a really good listener.” She told him, as she finally took a breather to take a sip of her white chocolate mocha latte. “Its like…you’re almost better when you’re quiet.”

Woohyun looked at her, and she quickly gasped.

“W-Wait no! I didn’t mean like you should never talk, its just—that you’re a good listener and like you really pay attention a-and you look even more attractive when you’re quietly just listening and—.” Luckily she was saved from her own rambling by her phone buzzing. She breathed a sigh of relief and quickly answered it while Woohyun took a bite of his chocolate croissant.

“OK mom, I’m coming home now!” Nari exclaimed and promptly hung up. “Sorry, that was my mom…I have to go.” She quickly stood up, fishing some cash out of her backpack.

“Ah, ok.” Woohyun nodded, getting up as well. “Um well it was nice—.”

“C-Can we go out again on Saturday?!” She blurted out, cutting Woohyun off mid-sentence. Before Woohyun could even answer, she nodded and pointed. “G-Great! I’ll pick you up at your house at noon!”

“W-Wait—.” Woohyun tried to say, but she had already dashed out of the cafe after leaving her half of the bill on the table.

§

Woohyun sat in his room on Saturday, wondering how Nari even knew where he lived, when the door bell started ringing. He glanced at his phone, and it was exactly noon.

He sighed, wondering how he was going to let her down easily as he made his way to the front door. But as soon as he opened it, Nari grabbed his arm.

“Great! You’re ready, let’s go!”

And so Woohyun found himself being dragged onto a bus. “Where’re we going?” He asked her.

But all she did was smile. “I hope you like dogs.”

§

At that point he realized he really shouldn’t have been surprised that Nari took him to a dog café. A multitude of dogs in all shapes and sizes approached them as soon as they entered.

“Wait, you like dogs right? You’re not allergic right?” Nari gasped.

Woohyun shrugged with a small smile “They’re cute.”

But then Nari blushed, completely taking it the wrong way and Woohyun wanted to smack himself for once again leading her on. He once again had to remind himself to not say things that may be taken the wrong way.

“N-No, that’s ok, I’ll just stay out here.” Woohyun heard a voice—an all too familiar one.

“Oh come on Sunggyu oppa, you’ll be fine!”

Woohyun instantly looked up to see Sunggyu hanging on to the doorway refusing to step in to the canine filled area, as a woman tugged on his arm. Woohyun’s eyes looked over Sunggyu first—his hair was kept rather straight and unkempt, and he was donned in a burgundy knit under a black jacket with ripped jeans and boots. Woohyun almost wanted to laugh because what kind of teacher dressed like that, and still managed to look so good?

But then he noticed the woman.

Woohyun could automatically tell she was the one who Sunggyu had been on several dates with. Her skin was like porcelain, a stark contrast to her berry lips and midnight black hair tied in a high ponytail. She was basically the epitome of long leggy model types, sporting black denim skinny pants, a flowing white blouse under a cardigan, and boots. She was beautiful and confident and she was everything he wasn’t. Woohyun suddenly felt as if a dark heavy cloak had fallen over his heart.

He wanted nothing more than to sink into the chair so Sunggyu wouldn’t see him and everything wouldn’t become even worse. However, he hadn’t noticed Nari gasping and approaching them.

“Unnie!”

Woohyun looked up for a moment. “ _Unnie?_ ”

Before he knew it, Nari and the woman were engaging in a hug. He looked both ways in a panic, hoping it wasn’t too late for him to escape, but then Nari was calling him over and Sunggyu was looking at him and Woohyun’s heart was aching even more than before.

§

It turned out the woman Sunggyu was dating—Jaekyung, was Nari’s cousin and so the four of them ended up going to a café across the street (because Sunggyu kind of sort of refused to go into the dog café).

Woohyun really didn’t want to, but Jaekyung insisted and Nari readily agreed. So there Woohyun and Sunggyu sat, avoiding each other’s gazes across the table. Woohyun sipped on his mango smoothie, feeling Sunggyu’s eyes on him for a moment. But then he hesitantly looked up and Sunggyu instantly looked away.

“I didn’t know you taught my cousin’s class.” Jaekyung playfully slapped Sunggyu’s arm. “Why didn’t you tell me oppa?”

Woohyun gripped tighter to the ends of his sweater under the table, unsure if he was feeling more angry or upset.

“I uh…didn’t know.” Sunggyu cleared his throat and nibbled on the straw of his drink quietly.

They sat there for about fifteen minutes with Jaekyung and Nari conversing while Sunggyu and Woohyun trying everything in their power to avoid even acknowledging each other’s existence. Until finally, Woohyun couldn’t take it anymore.

“Um actually,” He cleared his throat, forcing a smile. “I’m sorry I forgot I told my mother I would be home this afternoon so—.”

“Ah! Sorry, I hadn’t even realized so much time passed.” Jaekyung apologized with a genuine smile that only served to make Woohyun’s insides ache even more. “Nari-yah, I’ll take you home, since I have something to give to your mom anyways.”

Nari agreed and they all got up after paying the bill. As they stepped outside of the café, Jaekyung nudged Sunggyu.

“Shouldn’t you make sure he gets home safe?” She gestured to Woohyun who was standing with Nari under the awning watching the rain fall, hands in his pockets listening patiently as Nari animatedly told him something.

“Huh?” Sunggyu averted his eyes. “Uh…I think he’ll be fine.”

“Its raining! At least drop him off at home.” Jaekyung insisted. “He might catch a cold or something and he’s your student isn’t he? Isn’t that part of your responsibilities as a teacher? To take care of your students?”

Sunggyu groaned, massaging his temples. “…Fine.”

“Good.” Jaekyung grinned. “I’ll call you, ok?” Sunggyu nodded but as she leaned in to kiss his cheek, Woohyun turned around. He felt like his eyes were burning, and he instantly turned back around, staring at the water droplets falling, fighting back the moisture forming at his eyes.

After watching Jaekyung and Nari leave, he took a step out from under the awning and stood in the rain—secretly hoping the rain could be his excuse for his eyes watering.

But then he was suddenly pulled back under the awning by a firm grip and he reluctantly turned around.

“What’re you doing? You’re going to catch a cold.” Sunggyu frowned.

The first thing Woohyun noticed was the faint lipstick mark on Sunggyu’s cheek and he wasn’t sure he could hold back his tears if he had to be around Sunggyu a moment longer.

He pulled away from Sunggyu’s grasp and tried to make a run for it, but he slipped on the wet cement a few steps in, falling to the ground. He felt Sunggyu pulling him up and dragging him to his car, and he let him, a numb feeling taking over his heart.

Woohyun stared at the droplets skipping against the car window, as Sunggyu drove him home.

“Look,” Sunggyu cleared his throat. “I…I didn’t know you were going to—I would have never went there if I knew…you were there.”

Woohyun didn’t say anything. He couldn’t.

He didn’t know what the point was anymore. There was nothing he wanted to say to Sunggyu and at the same time there was so much he wanted to say, but instead he said nothing.

§

When Sunggyu stopped on the curb a few houses away from Woohyun’s house, Woohyun immediately opened the door and slammed it shut before Sunggyu could say a word. He walked at first, letting the rain drench him, listening as Sunggyu’s car turned around and drove away. Then he ran—as fast as he could until he was soaked and panting and tears were streaming down his face as he dropped down at the front steps.

He opened the door, calling out for his mother, but he got no response and the house was dark and quiet.

“Where are you?” He cried out, pulling his shoes off and running into the living room, then the kitchen, but there was no one there—only a note on some now cold leftovers on the dining table.

**Working late.**

**Your father left for his business trip already.**

**-Mother**

Woohyun smiled sadly, thankful his mom had at least left him something to eat.

He sat in his bedroom, wrapped in a blanket, hating how he couldn’t stop crying into his rice.

Half of him felt like things wouldn’t be like this if he was someone else—someone better, but the other half stubbornly felt like he didn’t want to change into someone else. He wanted so much to be someone who was perfect for Sunggyu and someone who was confident and knew what they wanted and what they wanted out of life.

He wanted to be better.

But at the same time he wanted someone to hold him and tell him everything wasn’t always going to be this difficult—that somehow life gets easier. But even though he wasn’t the smartest, he wasn’t a fool. He knew there was no such thing as life getting easier. Seeing how hard his parents worked all the time showed him that and in that way he felt the daunting presence of adulthood on his toes and he couldn’t escape.

He wanted to be independent and to be able to support his parents and himself and be someone capable enough for Sunggyu. But he was scared of not being able to do any of that by being who he was.

He opened his nightstand and pulled out his notebook. He absently flipped through the slightly worn pages decorated in black ink with lyrical prose, as folded up music sheets slipped out.

He got out his pen as he turned to a clean page.

§

Days turned to a week and then another since Woohyun and Sunggyu had last spoken. Woohyun tried to pay attention in class but he always found it really painful, so he even tried recording class sessions so he could listen to it back. But hearing Sunggyu’s honey coated voice explaining math equations did not help matters at all.

He tried so hard to move on, reminding himself that Sunggyu had basically already moved on so why shouldn’t he? Unfortunately these sorts of things relied on more than will power to get over.

Nari still continued to pester him on occasion, and he figured he should explain to her how he really felt and that he just wanted to be friends so she wouldn’t get the wrong message.

§

It was late in the afternoon and Sunggyu yawned, relieved to be done with all his paperwork for the day. As he walked across the school grounds, and was about to turn the corner, he heard some talking.

“I’m sorry….I really like just being friends with you.” He heard Woohyun’s voice. “I…I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything I just—.”

“No!” He heard another voice that he recognized as Nari’s. “I…I get it. I-It was my fault. I was the one who…who kept dragging you everywhere. Ugh I must’ve been so annoying to you—.”

“You weren’t.”

Sunggyu peered around the corner of the building to see the two standing between some large trees by a bench.

“I’m sorry.” Nari looked down, her bangs shading her eyes.

“Please don’t be.” Woohyun assured her. “I…it’s me. I—there’s someone.”

Sunggyu’s heart beat quickened and his mouth suddenly felt rather dry.

“That person…there are reasons I can’t be with that person but I—I can’t seem to let them go.” Woohyun’s eyes glistened a bit as he spoke. “So its just…I’m just still in the process of realizing I can’t be with that person and that I…need to move on.”

§

Sunggyu returned home with too many thoughts plaguing his mind.

Hearing Woohyun speak like that—and the fact that he realized he needed to move on made Sunggyu realize something—something that was so obvious before but he couldn’t quite see clearly.

§

Sunggyu spent days and days, thinking about the best way to approach Woohyun, but he couldn’t find any way at all. He was starting to wonder if it was a lost cause and if he should just finally let Woohyun go for good. But then as he was walking the school grounds past the soccer field, he spotted Woohyun. He looked around to check if he was alone, but then noticed Sungyeol and Myungsoo approaching the other boy. Sunggyu pulled back a bit, standing behind a nearby tree, just close enough to hear them talking.

“So,” Sungyeol nudged Woohyun as he sat down beside him on the bench near the grassy field. “What’re you doing for your birthday?”

Woohyun looked up from nibbling on a bean filled bun. “Who…me?”

“Well yeah, isn’t it your birthday next week?” Sungyeol snorted as he got out his lunch box, while Myungsoo settled down on Sungyeol’s other side.

Woohyun stared at the damp grass for a moment, a slight smile overtaking his lips.

“You…you guys remembered?”

“Huh?”

“Nothing.” Woohyun quickly said and wiped some crumbs from his chin. “I…I mean I haven’t thought about it…maybe just—.”

“You gotta have a party.” Sungyeol suddenly said. “I mean, if your parents will let you.”

“Nah…” Woohyun shrugged. “They probably wouldn’t.”

He was lying. He had no idea whether his parents would allow him to have a party, but he didn’t dare ask. Not because he was scared of his parents, but rather that his parents wouldn’t even be there on his birthday.

“Damn…” Sungyeol sighed. “Well, if you want…you could have it at my house.”

Woohyun bit his lip, pondering something for a moment. Just because his parents might be too busy for him and Sunggyu had moved on didn’t mean he had to stay miserable.

He suddenly stood up.

“No…” He finally said. “This party…we’re having it.”


	14. Self Control

It was the evening of Woohyun’s birthday. Pretty much everyone from class, as well as other kids all gathered at Woohyun’s house and one could say the party was in full swing.

“Hey, great party.” One kid said as Woohyun passed him by on his way to the kitchen. Woohyun casually smiled and nodded at him before continuing on his way. He found Sungyeol and Myungsoo arguing about something involving a cup of soda in the kitchen.

“Thanks for helping me with the party.” Woohyun interrupted their argument. They both turned to him, their expressions immediately softening.

“Yeah…no problem.” Sungyeol grinned sheepishly. “We planned it together anyways.”

“It was fun.” Myungsoo smiled shyly. “Are you having a good time?”

Woohyun nodded and patted Myungsoo’s shoulder affectionately. He left the two to argue some more over their soda cup when the doorbell rang. (He hadn’t heard it at first over the music playing.)

It was Nari.

The moment he opened it, well needless to say, it was a bit awkward for the both of them.

“O-Oh!” Nari gasped, her cheeks immediately reddening. She was wearing a short, red dress with a black rounded collar and black tights. It was fairly obvious she tried her best to dress up for the occasion. It almost made Woohyun feel bad for wearing nothing more than dark skinny jeans and a knit sweater over a button up shirt. “I…Sungyeol invited me.” She bit her lip, apprehensively, as if she was unsure if she was even allowed to be there.

Woohyun smiled softly. “Thanks for coming.”

“W-We’re still friends right? I mean, we still can be right?” She stammered as she followed him inside.

“Sure, if it’s ok with you.” Woohyun guided her to the snacks table so she could get a drink. He noticed Nari breathe a sigh of relief as he served her some of the fruit punch-cola combo that Sungyeol and Myungsoo had concocted. However the moment she took a sip she choked, not expecting it to taste so awful.

Woohyun chuckled. “Sorry…its something my friends made for the party. They seemed so proud of it, I couldn’t tell them no.”

Nari sighed. “You’re too soft…like look how long it took you to tell me you weren’t interested. Isn’t it difficult being that way…not being firm and frank in what you want…? I would never be able to be like that…you’re amazing—.” She gasped and clamped a hand over her mouth when he realized she was rambling again. She cleared her throat, sending Woohyun a sheepish, apologetic look. “I’m…sorry. I-I talk too much.”

“No…” Woohyun nodded gently, eyes cast downwards. “Its ok.”

Nari soon joined with her friends, and Woohyun found himself sitting alone. Well it was more like he had purposely retreated to his room. He felt odd doing so since it wasn’t really like him at all. He was someone who craved the feeling of being with other people, having other people’s attention— or rather, affection. It was something that made him feel warmer and happier. And yet there he was, sitting on his bed staring at the text on his phone.

**From Sunggyu:**

**Can you come outside for a moment? I want to talk.**

Woohyun shoved his phone back in his pocket, memories of Jaekyung kissing Sunggyu’s cheek were still fresh in his mind. And he would rather not indulge Sunggyu. Why should he? He deserved better. He deserved someone who would only want him. Who would be ok with _just_ him. He deserved that much at least….right?

He stared at the ceiling for a moment, swallowing down the lump in his throat.

“ _Its not like he would wait for me anyways…”_

Woohyun spent about fifteen minutes having fun, dancing and joking with his friends—or at least he tried to. But he couldn’t really focus on anything but the idea that Sunggyu might be outside, waiting in the cold.

“ _No….”_ Woohyun shook his head. “ _He wouldn’t…he wouldn’t wait for me.”_

He tried to tell himself that—convince himself of that, yet he found himself grabbing his puffy blue raincoat and haphazardly pulling on his sneakers and dashing out the door. The moment he stepped outside the dark frosty air nipped at his skin, but he barely noticed as he ran down the sidewalk.

He only stopped when he reached the curb, breathless. And there he was—leaning against his sedan, arms wrapped tightly around himself, buried in a charcoal plaid peacoat.

“Why…” Woohyun panted, his breath forming a misty cloud in the air. “Why are you here?” He managed to utter out, shakily as Sunggyu looked up, startled.

“…W-Woohyun-ah.” Sunggyu’s expression immediately softened—into almost relief. “You…You came.”

“What…What do you want?” Woohyun couldn’t take how kind and sweet Sunggyu’s smile seemed after all the pain he had caused him.

“I heard…it was your birthday today.” Sunggyu looked down somewhat shyly. “I…I wanted to say—.”

“If that’s all, then I’m sorry but I’d rather you not.” Woohyun bit back harshly. He swallowed down a lump in his throat and turned to leave.

“I-I broke up with Jaekyung.” Sunggyu suddenly said, causing Woohyun to pause. He hesitantly turned back around, unsure.

“W….What?”

Sunggyu smiled gently. “I…I know. I was so stupid for not realizing it earlier.” He rubbed the back of his neck bashfully. “You…you’re the only one I want to be with and—and I don’t want you to get over me…”

Woohyun could only stare at him, lips parted. “I…”

“I was spoiled…by your attention.” Sunggyu admitted. “I got too used to it…I took it for granted that you…were always going to like me and that’s wrong. You…don’t deserve that. You deserve someone who’ll only love you and who’ll only look at you. A-And I’m not saying _I’m_ the one you deserve to be with but I…I just want to tell you that I—I’m going to wait for you.” Sunggyu nervously met Woohyun’s unreadable gaze. “…So…in a year if you still want to be with this old man then—.”

He didn’t even need to finish his sentence because Woohyun was already running into his arms. And for Woohyun it felt like all the numbness from the past few weeks came flooding out in the form of tears. He gripped onto Sunggyu’s scarf, burying his face into Sunggyu’s chest, as he felt the older man’s hand on the back of his head.

“I’m sorry Woohyun-ah…” Sunggyu murmured as his arms encircled Woohyun’s shoulders. “For making you wait so long.”

All he could hear was muffled sobbing against his jacket collar and it made him feel a sudden warmth in his chest. He cupped Woohyun’s cheek as he brushed the boy’s fluffy bangs from his forehead so he had a temporary center part.

“Seriously why are you still crying? I thought you weren’t gonna be a crybaby anymore.” Sunggyu rubbed his cold, pink cheeks tenderly.

Woohyun just looked up at him helplessly, eyes watering and lower lip trembling pitifully. “T-That’s because…hyung is…” He hiccupped. “H-Hyung is—.”

Sunggyu couldn’t take how pitiful Woohyun looked and leaned forward and kissed his forehead. It certainly succeeded in stopping Woohyun’s tears, but now he was staring at Sunggyu wide-eyed, frozen in place.

“Feeling better?” Sunggyu chuckled.

“M-Maybe…” Woohyun’s cheeks flushed, and it was definitely not from the cold. “If you…do it one more time—.”

Sunggyu immediately let go.

“Can’t you be cute for more than two seconds?” Sunggyu sighed.

Woohyun managed a laugh as he wiped the tears from his slightly swollen eyes.

“But…what about your mother? Isn’t she always trying to set you up?”

“Yeah, that’s why I told her to give me until next summer and if I don’t find anyone in that time she can find someone for me.” Sunggyu explained. “So if by chance you become an asshole and abandon me at least I’ll have a back up plan.”

Woohyun smiled brightly. “So…s-so you’ll really wait for me? But…a year’s a long time.”

“Don’t remind me.” Sunggyu sighed dramatically. Woohyun merely smiled one of those relaxed smiles that made Sunggyu feel like the teenager in the relationship. He sighed and ruffled up Woohyun’s hair, an action meant to prove _he_ was the adult in this situation no matter how he felt at the moment. “But Woohyun-ah…you have to promise me something.”

Woohyun nodded eagerly, clasping his hands together, making it seem almost as if he was begging. Sunggyu suddenly felt one of those frequent urges he had to hold onto Woohyun and protect him from the world. He held back from doing so and instead gave the boy’s shoulder a squeeze.

“Don’t wait for me.”

Woohyun frowned, not quite understanding Sunggyu’s words. “…Huh? But—.”

“I mean…don’t narrow your options…don’t make decisions and miss out on things because of me. Make plans without thinking of me.”

“No…” Woohyun shook his head. “Hyung I can’t—.”

“You’re young. The worst thing for me is if I held you back.” Sunggyu held his shoulders firmly. “If you find a nice girl you end up liking, date her. If you want to go to a college far away, study and go. Whatever you want to do…don’t let anything hold you back, understand? Even me—no especially me.”

Woohyun looked down for a moment, taking in Sunggyu’s words.

“So…what you’re saying is that…if I want something, I shouldn’t let anything stop me…” Woohyun bit his lip, meeting Sunggyu’s gaze with uncertainty. “Even….you.”

Sunggyu hesitantly released Woohyun’s shoulders with a frown.

“I think….you’ve misunderstood me…listen I—.”

“No, I understand you perfectly hyung.” Woohyun nodded seriously. “If I want to be with you forever, I won’t let anything or anyone stop me, including you, because not so secretly you want to be with me too.”

Sunggyu massaged his temples in frustration. “Yeah….what else did I expect. Seriously…why can’t you just be like other kids…?”

Woohyun chuckled, but then a wind passed and he shuddered from the cold. Sunggyu sighed and gave Woohyun a quick, snug hug.

“Go inside, its getting cold….besides you’re having your party, right?”

“What party?” Woohyun stared at him in a daze. “Ah—oh right! Party…”

“Here.” Sunggyu took the box that was sitting on the hood of his car.

“Hm?” Woohyun blinked, accepting the rectangular, blue and black wrapped present. “What’s this?”

“Birthday present.” Sunggyu smiled in amusement. “What? You think I’d come empty handed on my puppy’s birthday?”

Woohyun felt his cheeks heat with color and his heart beat against his chest as he smiled shyly and failed supremely at suppressing a bashful giggle.

He hugged the gift to his chest and dimples formed at the corners of his mouth from smiling so brightly.

“Go inside, ok?” Sunggyu patted his head as he mentally fought the urge to squeeze Woohyun tightly and never let go.

Woohyun nodded and suddenly wrapped his arms around Sunggyu’s waist, sinking into his chest. “This…” His voice sounded muffled, and was almost too soft, Sunggyu wasn’t sure he had heard correctly. “This is the best birthday gift ever.”

§

Woohyun had basically forgotten about his own birthday party and immediately ran upstairs into his room as soon as he got back home. He shut the door behind him and leaned against it, sighing dreamily, as he clutched onto the gift Sunggyu had given him.

“ _He called me his puppy…”_ Woohyun smiled stupidly to himself and did a silly little spin around his room, ending with him collapsing onto his bed.

He stared at the ceiling in a daze for a moment, wondering if he was dreaming.

He pressed his fingertips to his forehead where Sunggyu’s lips had been and felt his face grow hot and his stomach get all warm and fuzzy, recalling it.

He instantly sat up, shaking his head in a flurry. “Ah…the gift.” He murmured and began to unwrap Sunggyu’s present that he was somehow still clutching onto.

It was a brand knew portable cd player with a pair of headphones and a pack of at least 50 CDs. Woohyun immediately smiled because everything about it was so uncommon and outdates in this day and age. People didn’t even use portable CD players anymore. He clicked open the CD player to see that there was already a CD inside with black ink written along it that read:

**Playlist #1 Woohynnie’s birthday mix**

Woohyun’s smile burned brighter as he turned on the CD player and began listening to the playlist Sunggyu had made for him. He realized the rest of the CDs were blank and frowned in confusion.

“ _Weird…”_ He thought, as he opened an envelope with a birthday card inside. On the cover of the card was a small puppy in a birthday hat.

_Woohyun-ah,_

_This is a bit strange. I…I don’t usually do this kind of thing, but I don’t know I thought that maybe you would like it…I made a playlist for you. I know, you can laugh and think its old fashioned because it is, but this was cool when I was a kid. And you know I was one of the coolest kids in my entire school!_

_Ahaha anyways, I would like to think that each song that I chose was really special because they are…to me, and they make me think of you, or I think about these songs when we’re together. But even so, as special as they are they can’t possibly compare with how special you are. But I hope you take it as a compliment anyways._

_The blank CDs are for you to make your own playlists as well and we can trade?_

_I think music sometimes tells more about a person than words can and I want to learn about Nam Woohyun._

_Anyways, have a good birthday and try not to cry today, ok?_ ㅋㅋ

_\--Gyu hyung_

Suddenly a droplet fell onto the card, and Woohyun had to smile despite more tears threatening to form out of his watery eyes. _“Its too late for that hyung…”_

 §

The next morning, Sunggyu yawned as he opened the front door after the doorbell had rung a total of fifteen times. He wasn’t surprised at all that it was Woohyun. He was surprised however, when Woohyun merely gave him a bright smile and walked in. At this point, Sunggyu was kind of expecting to be tackled with a warm hug as soon as he opened the door, since that seemed to be the way Woohyun had always greeted him at his house in the past.

He frowned, ruffling up his bed hair as he followed Woohyun into the kitchen.

“Do I even need to ask?”

“Morning.” Woohyun chuckled. “I listened to your present last night all night long.” He folded his hands awkwardly as his gaze fell to the floor. “It…it’s the best gift ever.”

Sunggyu willed himself not to smile too much but the corner of his lips somehow curved upward as he snorted. “Dummy, you’ve probably had better.”

Woohyun looked up at him rather seriously. “No way…your music taste is amazing. Hyung…” He gripped onto Sunggyu’s wrist. “I think I fell more in love with you in these past twenty-four hours.”

Sunggyu laughed, despite Woohyun’s passionate gaze and demeanor. “Why do I doubt that?”

Woohyun blinked, seemingly confused by Sunggyu’s words. “I don’t…I don’t understand?”

Sunggyu held out his arms. “Where’s my hug? Don’t I usually get a good morning hug?”

Sunggyu expected Woohyun to run into his arms, but instead the boy laughed sheepishly and took a step back.

“Um…” Woohyun rubbed the back of his neck, awkwardly. “A-Anyways…”

Sunggyu stubbornly kept his arms out, however, and pouted in a way that Woohyun swore was much too adorable for an adult. “No hug for hyung?”

Woohyun bit his lip, as his cheeks turned rosy red. “Um…” He laughed awkwardly, struggling to ignore the way his ears were burning. “I…i-if you want to.”

Sunggyu studied Woohyun’s completely flustered manner, and after pushing down the urge to tackle him right there and then, he wondered what exactly had happened.

“ _He’s gotten shy before…but never to this level…”_ Sunggyu watched Woohyun awkwardly flip a coaster over and over on the kitchen table. “ _Is it…was I too forward?”_ He wondered, as he continued observing Woohyun’s blatant efforts at avoiding his gaze.

“Uh…i-is there something on my face?” Woohyun suddenly rubbed his cheek. “Y-You keep…staring at me…”

“Ah, sorry.” Sunggyu suddenly felt embarrassment warm his face. “You’re just…really cute.” He suddenly said in a dazed manner without even realizing it. Woohyun’s eyes widened and he actually hiccupped. Sunggyu couldn’t take it anymore and pulled Woohyun into his chest, one hand entangled in his soft hair while his other hand wrapped around the boy’s waist. “Ugh…stop this.” He groaned, as he felt Woohyun’s chin resting on his shoulder. “You’re making it too difficult for hyung like this…”

He heard Woohyun whimper slightly and it only made him want to squeeze him tighter. Woohyun didn’t say anything in response but soon enough he felt Woohyun’s hands clutching onto the back of his shirt.

“Hyung?” Woohyun murmured.

“Hm?”

“Hyung.” Woohyun repeated as a somewhat impatient whine as he rubbed his nose into Sunggyu’s shoulder.

“What?” Sunggyu chuckled. “What is it baby?”

Suddenly they both froze—the realization of what Sunggyu just said setting in. That one word made Sunggyu suddenly feel like the biggest creep in the world. He immediately pushed Woohyun away, clearing his throat rather noisily.

 “Uh….h-how about some hot chocolate?” He blurted out and raced into the kitchen without waiting for Woohyun’s answer.

§

“ _I can’t believe I called him…that.”_ Sunggyu mentally cursed, as he stirred chocolate mix into some hot milk. “ _What the hell is wrong with me? Way to make everything creepy and uncomfortable…what if…”_ He bit his lip, suddenly recalling how he always seemed to be buying things for Woohyun. _“What if…what if I’m…his sugar daddy?! Oh crap…I am. I keep buying him things and…oh fuck.”_ He hung his head in shame, wondering how it was possible to move past all this—or even if it was possible at all.

Meanwhile Woohyun was sitting in the living room on the couch, hugging a pillow.

_“Yesterday he called me his puppy and today he called me baby...”_ He smiled stupidly to himself and squeezed the pillow closer to his chest. He almost felt like singing and wondered if this was all really happening or if he really _was_ just dreaming.

The sound of Sunggyu placing a mug of hot chocolate on the coffee table in front of Woohyun snapped him out of his stupor.

Sunggyu cleared his throat causing Woohyun to look up at him. “D-Drink this and then go home…I have a lot of work to do today.” He reluctantly met Woohyun’s gaze and regretted it completely as Woohyun was looking up at him with sparkly puppy eyes, and everything about his expression was basically begging Sunggyu not to kick him out.

“Can’t I just stay…a bit longer?” Woohyun pouted and Sunggyu unintentionally clenched his fists.

“N-No—.”

“But hyung—.”

“No!”

Woohyun looked down and nodded as he took the mug of hot cocoa in his hands.

“…Ok. I understand. I’ll finish this and leave…you can go do your work.”

Sunggyu immediately felt guilty since well, it wasn’t like Woohyun did anything wrong. In fact it was him who had said the stupid thing, but he couldn’t help but wonder why Woohyun wasn’t uncomfortable about it in the least. He didn’t realize he was unconsciously staring at Woohyun for longer than he intended, but Woohyun felt his gaze the whole time.

Woohyun’s face was still warm from Sunggyu’s words before and his hot chocolate and now he felt his ears burning red from his teacher’s rather intense stare. He cleared his throat and studied some slight indents in the coffee table, but Sunggyu wouldn’t stop staring.

Woohyun closed his eyes for a moment before laughing awkwardly. “Uh…” He looked up at Sunggyu nervously. “Is…is everything ok—?”

Sunggyu abruptly sat down beside him and really that would’ve been ok except he leaned way too close and Woohyun unintentionally squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.

“Um…Gyu hyung are you ok—?”

“Its so…” Sunggyu lips were suddenly way too close to the shell of his ear and Woohyun kind of sort of forgot how to breathe. “Your ear…”

Woohyun regretted the whimper like sound he released when he felt his back hit the sofa and Sunggyu leaning into his neck.

“Woohyun-ah…” Sunggyu’s voice suddenly had a gravelly tone to it that made Woohyun shudder as his lips ghosted the boy’s neck for a moment. “Its so red…”

“G-Gyu hyung…” Woohyun breathed, hesitantly. “Wait…this—.” Suddenly he felt Sunggyu’s teeth grazing the shell of his ear until he bit down and Woohyun gasped. Woohyun bit down hard on his lower lip as Sunggyu’s hot breath tickled his skin as he nibbled on the boy’s reddened ear. His heart was throbbing wildly and he was suddenly feeling hot all over and he only then just realized that Sunggyu’s body was pressed so closely on top of his.

Woohyun was starting to believe this might just be another one of his wet dreams and any moment he would wake up with an aching boner but Sunggyu suddenly biting on his ear lobe kind of proved that false.

Sunggyu, on the other hand, would be lying if he had said he didn’t know what came over him. But Woohyun was just being too damn irresistible and he just had this desperate urge to bite him just to see if he would make those cute whimper sounds he tended to make. And well, he definitely was right about that because Woohyun wouldn’t stop making cute breathy gasp like whines and whimpers as Sunggyu nibbled on his ear and Sunggyu was certain he was going to lose any sense of self control he had left.

“K-Kiss…” Woohyun suddenly murmured in a voice that was dripping with neediness and a bit of desperation. “Just…one kiss? Please?”

Sunggyu absently licked his slightly dry lips as he met Woohyun’s gaze—their noses almost touching.

_Just one kiss._

Sunggyu knew deep down in his heart that it wouldn’t be possible. One kiss would not just end at one kiss—at least for him. And he hated it. He hated that he lacked self control. He hated that he _had_ self control. He hated that he had to have self control at all.

Sunggyu reluctantly got off Woohyun and leaned into the arm rest on the other side of the couch. Woohyun hastily sat up with a worried look.

“W-Wait no…I’m sorry. You don’t have to kiss me! You can just…continue with…what you were doing before—.”

“I’m sorry….” Sunggyu interrupted, as he ran a hand through his hair. “That…I did that. I shouldn’t have…Is your ear ok?”

“Hyung…” Woohyun’s gaze fell to the floor. “This…there would be nothing wrong with this if I was older. You…you wouldn’t feel bad about biting my ear, you wouldn’t refuse to kiss me…you wouldn’t feel weird about calling me baby…”

“You’re right, but…you’re _not_ older.” Sunggyu sighed. “And I’m the creepy one who fell for a child—.”

“I’m not a child.” Woohyun frowned.

“Sorry, I meant toddler.” Sunggyu replied jokingly and Woohyun could only sigh. 


	15. Chocolate Heart

Woohyun was excited for Valentines Day. He spent the whole week preparing his CD for Sunggyu with special, extra romantic songs. He even planned out potential dates for them, though he knew they probably wouldn’t be able to go anywhere. But still, the fact that it was on a Saturday gave Woohyun some hope, even if their ‘date’ composed of them sitting in Sunggyu’s apartment, drinking hot chocolate. In fact that idea did not sound bad at all to Woohyun because it left potential opportunities to cuddle and hug (and possibly other things).

§

It was Friday, the day before Valentine’s Day, and all the girls at school were giving chocolates to the boy they liked, and building up the confidence to tell them how they felt.

Sungyeol sauntered into the classroom after lunch, with a rather smug expression. He plopped down in his seat beside his two best friends, placing five pink and red wrapped little boxes on his desk.

“Five girls confessed to me. Not one, not two, but five!” He grinned, leaning back in his chair, in a satisfied manner.

“That’s great Sungyeol.” Woohyun patted his shoulder, while Myungsoo stared at a speck of dust floating in front of his desk.

“What about you guys?” Sungyeol smiled. “Did some charitable girl give you some pity chocolate.”

Woohyun laughed. “Something like that.”

“Well, I won’t bother with Myungsoo because he probably got like five hundred confessions…” Sungyeol sighed, leaning his elbow on his desk.

“Actually just twenty.” Myungsoo explained, and gestured to a stack of cutely wrapped boxes of chocolates in a pile by his desk.

“Just twenty he says…” Sungyeol snorted, and then turned to Woohyun expectantly.

“Uh…” Woohyun rubbed the back of his neck. “Just ten.”

“Ten?!” Sungyeol slammed his head onto his desk, realizing he had lost again this year.

§

Woohyun waited for class to end and for everyone to clear out of the classroom for lunch time. He sat waiting at his desk, telling Sungyeol and Myungsoo he would catch up to them. Sunggyu began working on some paper work as soon as everyone left, and it kind of made Woohyun worried.

“Does he ever rest?” He thought as he finally got up from his seat and approached Sunggyu at his desk.

Sunggyu didn’t even bother acknowledging him and merely turned over a piece of paper.

“Class is over. Go eat lunch.”

“Uh…” Woohyun glanced to the door, which had been closed by the last student to leave. He opened up his backpack and pulled out a small, pink heart shaped box tied with a white and silver polka dotted ribbon. “I…t-tomorrow is Valentines Day.” He bit his lip as he placed the cutely decorated box in front of Sunggyu. “So…yesterday my mother was home and she was making some chocolates for my father and people she knew so I was helping her.”

Sunggyu smiled softly. “That sounds nice.”

Woohyun nodded, awkwardly. “And…I-I know there’s no girl in this relationship and—and that’s what girls are supposed to do…give chocolates on Valentines day and all, but I was already helping my mother make some so I just thought…a-anyways I made these for you.”

“Great, I’ll add them to my collection.” Sunggyu grinned and pulled open a drawer. Inside were a bunch of pretty pink and red boxes decorated with hearts and ribbons and such. “Some students gave me these, so I guessed it was Valentines Day.” Sunggyu shrugged. “I didn’t even know it was soon.” Then he laughed. “I guess I still got it.”

Woohyun didn’t find it as humorous. “Since you got so many chocolates from pretty female high school students why would you need them from me then?” He muttered under his breath and grumpily trudged away.

Sunggyu kind of felt bad that he was so amused by how seriously Woohyun seemed to be taking this. “Wait.” He got up from his desk, and grabbed for Woohyun’s arm to stop him from leaving. “I was kidding.”

Woohyun stopped as Sunggyu gripped onto his arm.

“Your chocolates are my favorite. I’ll only eat them, ok?”

A reluctant smile crept onto Woohyun’s face as he hesitantly turned to his teacher.

“R-Really?”

Sunggyu smiled a little and ruffled up the boy’s hair. “Of course. I’ll just eat the other chocolates when you’re not around.” He kind of expected Woohyun to get upset again but instead Woohyun just laughed lightly.

He followed Sunggyu to his desk and watched in anticipation as Sunggyu untied the bow and opened the box of chocolates.

“I made dark chocolate since you don’t really like it to be overly sweet…” Woohyun explained. “Ah, and they have a strawberry filling because it’s your favorite fruit...right?”

Sunggyu looked at the heart shaped chocolates for a moment, and felt this overwhelming sense of warmth take over his heart. Why did Woohyun even bother remembering small, seemingly insignificant things like that about him, he wondered.

He met Woohyun’s gaze affectionately. “Woohyun-ah—.”

“Ah! And also this…” Woohyun pulled a CD in a clear case out of his backpack. “I made a special Valentines mix for you.”

Sunggyu snorted in a humored fashion. “Do all kids these days take Valentines Day so seriously, or is it just you?”

Woohyun tilted his head, though he was smiling. “What do you mean?”

Sunggyu suddenly gestured for Woohyun to lean closer, and when Woohyun did he rubbed under his chin lovingly.

“Why is my Woohyunnie so cute, hm?”

Woohyun’s cheeks immediately reddened and he quickly pulled away, suddenly feeling a dizzy sort of high overtaking him. “Wah…my…cute.” He repeated the words over again in his head, unsure if Sunggyu had really just said them.

“So what do you want to do tomorrow?” Sunggyu suddenly asked.

“Huh?” Woohyun blinked. “…Tomorrow?”

Sunggyu chuckled. “Isn’t it tomorrow? Valentines Day?”

Realization finally hit Woohyun and his eyes widened. “Wait…you mean we—you’ll let me take you out on a date?” The words came tumbling out of Woohyun’s mouth, before his brain could really process them.

Sunggyu stood up and rounded the table until he was standing just in front of Woohyun. “Take me out? How’re you gonna do that? With the money saved in your piggy bank?” He joked.

Woohyun’s lips jutted into a pout. “I…I have money…sort of.”

Sunggyu cupped Woohyun’s cheeks and smiled. “How about hyung takes care of it this time, hm?”

“W-Well…” Woohyun murmured, staring into Sunggyu’s eyes in something of a daze. “If...if you insist.”

§

Woohyun was having a nice dream that ended with Sunggyu letting him kiss him and even letting him in his bed. He actually slept through his alarm somehow, and woke up half an hour after his planned wake up time. He had to hurry into the shower, but ended up taking too long getting ready that he didn’t even get to eat anything. By the time he got to the bus stop, the bus had already left and he had to wait fifteen minutes for the next one to arrive. Even worse the traffic was awful and he only made it to Sunggyu’s apartment an hour and a half after his planned arrival time. He was mentally kicking himself for messing up the perfectly planned out date schedule he had made for them.

Sunggyu opened the door, a cup of coffee in hand. He didn’t have his usual look—sweatpants and messy bed hair. He looked like he was all ready to go out, in dark jeans, and a leather jacket.

Woohyun instantly felt guilty, feeling like he had made Sunggyu wait for him. Sunggyu was rather relaxed however and smiled. He was about to say something but Woohyun immediately blurted out an apology.

“Ahh its already this time….” Woohyun muttered and grabbed for Sunggyu’s arm. “Should we go? I—.”

“Wait a second.” Sunggyu frowned. “Why don’t you come in for a second? Aren’t you cold? And we need to discuss where we’re going—.”

“I’m really sorry.” Woohyun heaved a sad sigh as if Sunggyu had just scolded him. “I…I overslept and then missed the bus and then—.”

Sunggyu suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him inside and shut the door behind him.

“At least come inside, its cold outside…” Sunggyu shivered a bit and headed for the living room, expecting Woohyun to follow. Woohyun watched worriedly for a moment before peeling off his shoes and hurrying after his teacher.

He was surprised to see Sunggyu rather casually sitting down on the sofa and taking a sip of his coffee.

“So,” Sunggyu began, as he placed his mug on the coffee table. “What did you want to do today?”

Woohyun stared at him, taken off guard. “But…I was so late a-and—.”

“How is 9:30 in the morning late?” Sunggyu snorted. “I actually got to wake up at a decent time and have breakfast at my own leisure.”

Woohyun’s gaze fell to his feet for a moment. “So…so you’re not mad?”

Sunggyu patted the spot next to him on the couch. “Why would I be mad dummy?”

Woohyun didn’t budge however and awkwardly folded his hands in front of him.

“Uh…but—.”

“But what? Why? You don’t give me greeting hugs anymore and now you won’t even sit next to me?” Sunggyu sighed dramatically and stood up. Woohyun frowned as he watched the older man head to the kitchen. Sunggyu began slicing some apples as Woohyun approached the counter to watch him more closely.

Sunggyu glanced at the boy from the corner of his eye for a moment. He started to wonder if Woohyun had become more aware of presence—as in uncomfortable. He figured it might be his fault about being too bold and forward and in turn it had made Woohyun like this—wary.

He decided he would back off and try extra hard to control himself. The last thing he wanted to do was make Woohyun uncomfortable.

“Look,” Sunggyu cleared his throat as he met Woohyun’s gaze across the counter. “You…you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, ok? I’m sorry…if I made you uncomfortable or anything I—.”

“What?” Woohyun blinked. “But…you never made me uncomfortable?”

“I-I didn’t?” Sunggyu frowned. “But…but then why are you—.”

“Ah…” Woohyun rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled awkwardly. “Its not…I just felt bad about being so late. I-I kind of planned out the day for us and then I ruined it by waking up late and everything.”

Sunggyu smiled a bit. He didn’t know exactly why, but he found it somewhat endearing that Woohyun seemed to take things like this so seriously.

“Its not ruined yet. What did you have planned?”

“Well…” Woohyun bit his lip. “First we would see the sunrise together...”

Sunggyu raised an eyebrow. “Uh, yeah…I don’t think I would’ve woken up for that anyways…”

Woohyun nodded, as if he predicted Sunggyu would say such a thing. “That’s why you should just let me stay over then I can wake you and we can watch the sunrise together in the comfort of your apartment.”

“You had that one all planned out, didn’t you?” Sunggyu snorted.

“Maybe.” Woohyun grinned, mischievously.

“Well…” Sunggyu suddenly nodded. “Should we do that next time?”

“Really?” Woohyun gasped.

“Next time as in five years from now.” Sunggyu reached over the counter and patted his head. But Woohyun didn’t enjoy his answer and sighed as he placed his head down on the cold counter top.

“Can we at least…” He lifted his head again to pout at Sunggyu. “Do that…because its a special day?”

“That?” Sunggyu hummed as he continued slicing fruit, stopping to feed Woohyun an apple slice. Woohyun was taken off guard at first and chewed somewhat in a daze until Sunggyu repeated his question.

“Y-You know…” Woohyun pursed his lips, nervously. “Kiss?”

“No.” Sunggyu responded almost instantly.

“B-But you kissed my forehead before!”

“No.”

“But…but you bit my ear!”

“T-That’s…that’s not the same thing!” Sunggyu stammered. “Now shut up and eat some fruit, you probably didn’t eat any breakfast, did you?”

“I’ll eat something if you kiss me.” Woohyun replied stubbornly.

“Fine, eat nothing then.” Sunggyu shrugged and ate an apple slice. “Doesn’t concern me either way.”

Woohyun folded his arms, determined to keep his stance. But not even a minute later his stomach began growling rather loudly. Sunggyu managed to suppress a chuckle and met Woohyun’s eyes with a humored gaze.

“Woohyun-ah…just eat something.”

However Woohyun mood had suddenly gone down. “Maybe….” He murmured. “Maybe I should just go…”

“Yah,” Sunggyu followed after him, grabbing his arm to stop him. “Why are you being like this? What’s gotten into you?”

Though he knew Woohyun wanted a kiss, it was not something that could so easily be done. Besides, he was sure Woohyun had no idea what he was asking for.

“I guess I have to be the bad guy again…” Sunggyu thought to himself in annoyance.

“Fine, you want to kiss me?” Sunggyu finally said. “What else? I mean why stop there might as well do everything right?”

He was expecting Woohyun to be at least a bit surprised, but instead Woohyun smiled.

“Hyung…what’re you trying to do?” Woohyun had one of those amused grins like he’d already figured out what Sunggyu was thinking and planning.

Sunggyu muttered a curse word under his breath and suddenly began pulling Woohyun out of the kitchen and down the hallway.

“Fine, lets go then!” He announced and pushed open the bedroom door. He pulled Woohyun inside and as he turned to shut the door, quickly did a scan of Woohyun’s face. He was disappointed to find Woohyun didn’t look uncomfortable or intimidated or anything of the sort and was still smiling like the whole thing was a joke.

Sunggyu gritted his teeth. “Y-Yah…get on the bed then. You…this is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“Hyung is so cute.” Woohyun finally said and chuckled.

Sunggyu blinked in disbelief. “W-What…?”

“Doing all this to make me not want to kiss you…” Woohyun absently swung his arms back and forth. “This is why hyung is a strawberry tart.”

Sunggyu really kind hated how Woohyun was suddenly so perceptive, but he suspected he was like that most of the time despite his appearance.

“You know…” Woohyun smiled shyly. “I…I had a dream last night like this. Though…you let me into your bedroom because you wanted me to be there,” Woohyun met his eyes. “With you.”

Sunggyu coughed lightly and did anything he could to avoid Woohyun’s gaze. “A-Anyways…what did you want to do for—.”

But Woohyun was suddenly burying his face into his hands and kneeling over. Sunggyu panicked by the boy’s sudden, strange behavior.

“Y-Yah…” He hurried to Woohyun’s side and knelt down beside him. “What’s wrong?”

Woohyun continued covering his face with his hands and all Sunggyu could hear was a murmur that somewhat sounded like “Embarrassed…”

Sunggyu’s expression softened in a moment as his lips curved into a smile.

“He’s…is he embarrassed because he told me about his dream?”

Woohyun made a whimper like sound. “Hyung…”

“Hm?” Sunggyu leaned closer to hear him.

“I’m…ah so embarrassing.” Woohyun finally raised his head and looked at Sunggyu, laughing in a quiet, awkward manner. His whole face was flushed and his eyes were cute little lines on his face. “I can’t believe I said that…” He laughed again and rubbed the back of his neck, biting his lip.

Sunggyu’s stomach started doing these weird flips and turns and his chest felt like it was filled with warmth.

“It all your fault,” he thought, “Its all your fault Nam Woohyun…”

Woohyun yelped a bit as he felt the carpet under his back and suddenly Sunggyu was on top of him.

“This is…” Sunggyu’s breath tickled his ear. “This is the best I can do right now…”

Woohyun suddenly felt dizzy and like he was dreaming as Sunggyu’s arm slipped around his waist and his other hand caressed his cheek.

“Is this…ok?” Sunggyu’s voice was like a tender whisper and Woohyun couldn’t help but hold his breath. He could feel Sunggyu’s breath on his lips and he felt like they were so close, but all he really noticed was Sunggyu’s gaze.

It was warm and gentle and loving and gave Woohyun butterflies in his stomach (though that might’ve just been because he hadn’t eaten.)

“Do you think I don’t want to kiss you?” Sunggyu murmured as he stroked Woohyun’s cheekbone with his thumb. “Just be patient….ok?”

Woohyun nodded and wrapped his arms around Sunggyu’s neck and clung to him like a koala on a tree even as Sunggyu sat up.

“Hyung,” Woohyun was almost sitting on Sunggyu’s lap, but refused to move and buried his nose into his shoulder. “I love you.”

“Ok,” Sunggyu smiled and rubbed the back of Woohyun’s head gently. “Ok, I get it…let go now!”

§

Sunggyu thought Woohyun wouldn’t have anything planned for Valentines Day and made some kimbap the night before with plans for them to go on a picnic. And since Woohyun claimed he had ruined his own plans, they went with Sunggyu’s plan.

“So,” Sunggyu drummed his fingers along the steering wheel. The car ride had been mostly quiet for the fifteen minutes since they had left Sunggyu’s apartment. “Is uh…is a picnic ok with you?”

“It sounds great.” Woohyun smiled softly at him, though Sunggyu had to keep his eyes on the road and didn’t notice it. But when Sunggyu managed to spare Woohyun a glance, the boy was on his phone. Sunggyu suddenly felt awkward and somewhat left out.

He knew it wasn’t really right and Woohyun was completely allowed to talk to anyone else or do whatever it was he was doing. But he still had this sinking feeling in his chest.

“What’re you doing?” He finally asked.

“Just texting a friend.” Woohyun replied rather curtly.

Then it was quiet again.

Sunggyu winced. He really wasn’t a nosy person or anything of that sort but he was tempted to know more.

“Ah…” He nodded, as he stopped the car at a red light. “Sungyeol?”

“Myungsoo.” Woohyun finally looked up. “He was just asking if I wanted to sleep over tonight.”

“Tonight?” Sunggyu raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that…I mean I would think he would have a date or something?”

Woohyun laughed. “Yeah he looks like he would, but Myungsoo’s not really like that at all. He’s like a five year old in a teenager’s body sometimes, I swear. He’s really innocent.”

Sunggyu smiled a bit. He liked hearing Woohyun talk about his friends if only because he felt like they were an extension of Woohyun so in some weird way he felt like he was learning more about Woohyun.

“He’s really cute.” Woohyun continued.

“You’re the one who’s cute…” Sunggyu thought, watching Woohyun’s gaze fall to his lap and a smile—not a very big smile, but a sweet, genuine one nonetheless—decorate his face.

“…Hyung, the light’s green.”

“Hm?” Sunggyu blinked and then looked to the road, just as the car behind them began honking. “…Ah!”

§

They found a spot in a park that was flush with foliage and almost made it feel like they were nestled in the heart of a forest.

It was quiet, nothing but the sounds of nature, secluded, and there was no one else around.

It was perfect.

A soft wind whistled through the trees as Sunggyu attempted to lay out the red and white picnic blanket. Woohyun adjusted his bangs that had flown because of the wind and grinned.

“What if we get blown away?”

“I think we’ll be fine.” Sunggyu sat down and reached for the basket full of food he had brought with them. (It was his sister’s and he managed to snag it unnoticed when he had visited her house a few days ago.)

“Don’t expect a gourmet feast, but I tried my best, ok?” Sunggyu explained as he took out the kimbap and some sandwiches. “This is all I could do…”

But really, Sunggyu could’ve just brought a box of cereal and milk and Woohyun would’ve still been excited.

“I’m sure its on par with a five star restaurant.”

Sunggyu eyes him suspiciously. “Is that sarcasm I detect?”

Woohyun chuckled good naturedly, but his eyes had a mischievous glint to them.

“Ah…speaking of, did…d-did you manage to try the chocolates?”

“Mm…” Sunggyu nodded in thought as he handed Woohyun a bottle of juice. “Not yours, but Yooyoung from class B’s was really good, she even put almonds.”

Woohyun’s smile instantly faded. “You even got chocolates from girls from other classes?”

“I guess.” Sunggyu shrugged. “Why’re you getting upset? You’re pretty popular aren’t you? Didn’t you receive chocolates from girls as well?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Woohyun’s voice started getting whiny and Sunggyu wondered what he would have to say or do to get rid of the pout on Woohyun’s face. (Though a part of him didn’t want to just because Woohyun looked kind of sort of really cute when he pouted.)

“I was kidding, silly.” Sunggyu ruffled up Woohyun’s hair. “I ate yours. They were really good, ok?”

“But then…” Woohyun looked down. “How come you knew Yooyoung’s had almonds in them?”

“I don’t know if they do, I just made that up.” Sunggyu sighed and leaned against the trunk of the large tree behind him.

Woohyun suddenly leaned forward on his palms and knees. “Why do you keep teasing me like this hyung?”

Sunggyu kind of expected Woohyun to laugh it off, but he looked so affected and his eyes were wide and glassy and Sunggyu didn’t understand why exactly Woohyun was attacking him with the sad puppy dog eyes.

Sunggyu awkwardly crossed his legs and reached for his bottle of juice but Woohyun intercepted his hand.

“Can we…” Woohyun stared at their hands—his lightly over Sunggyu’s. “C-Can we hold hands?”

“W-Why?” Sunggyu coughed. “…Wouldn’t that be weird if we’re sitting down like this—?”

“I just…” Woohyun met his gaze with a pleading look. “I-I want to hold your hand…can I?”

Sunggyu didn’t really understand the point of holding hands when they were sitting down and that would deter him from his lunch, which he didn’t really want.

“Uh…can I eat first?”

“Its fine…” Woohyun sighed softly, retracting his hand. “Just forget it.”

Sunggyu internally groaned. ‘Just forget it’ obviously did not mean just forget it and Sunggyu really wanted to ignore it but Woohyun started looking extra pitiful and staring at blades of grass with a forlorn expression.

Sunggyu realized he was almost finished with his sandwich and suddenly thought of the best solution. He took a big bite, until there was only one bite left and then nudged Woohyun’s shoulder. Woohyun turned to see Sunggyu holding out the last bit of his sandwich for him.

“Eat it.” Sunggyu said, when Woohyun basically spent more than ten seconds staring at his hand.

Woohyun looked reluctant but opened his mouth and as soon as Sunggyu placed the food in his mouth, Woohyun was smiling. He was actually chewing while smiling and Sunggyu kind of wanted to pinch his stuffed cheek.

He made a mental note to feed Woohyun when he was upset.

§

They somehow started some game where they would give clues of something they see and the other had to guess what it was. Woohyun had just guessed correctly that Sunggyu was talking about the white flowers growing along one of the top branches of a nearby tree. And then Woohyun dumbly decided to pick one of the flowers for Sunggyu.

Sunggyu repeatedly told him not to. It wasn’t as if he had any interest in flowers, let alone receiving some from someone else, and a high school boy at that.

But Woohyun was stubborn with his romantic ideals and attempted multiple times to climb the tree. However it was in vain as the branches were too high for him to reach and he kept scraping his hands. But he tried once again and made it about a foot off the ground before he slipped and fell backwards. He managed to land on his feet, though he stumbled and sort of fell backwards into Sunggyu’s chest. He felt Sunggyu grip his arms.

“Are you ok?” Sunggyu’s breath tickled his ear like a light fluffy feather.

Woohyun’s face felt hot and he hastily stumbled forward, back to Sunggyu.

“F-Fine…thanks.”

“That’s why I told you to just leave it…” Sunggyu sighed and Woohyun didn’t really understand why Sunggyu talking closely behind him caused a shiver to run along his skin.

Woohyun nodded hastily and hurried back to the picnic blanket and sat down.

“Should we eat dessert?” Sunggyu sat down across from him and pulled out a small pink dessert box from the basket. Inside were two red velvet cake slices, frosted with sweet fresh cream and topped with strawberry slices shaped liked hearts. “Sorry I’m not really much of a baker so I bought these…”

“Its ok.” Woohyun murmured and nodded.

Sunggyu figured Woohyun was feeling disappointed about not being able to climb the tree to get the flowers for him. So he picked a piece of the cake (he only remembered to bring one spoon, unfortunately) and held it out in front of Woohyun.

Woohyun, however stared at him with an unsettled expression. “W-What are you doing? Its ok…I can eat myself—.”

“I only brought one spoon and your hands are all messy from climbing the tree.” Sunggyu mentally patted himself on the back for coming up with such a great and reasonable sounding excuse.

Woohyun didn’t seem to buy it, but Sunggyu didn’t seem to care much and pressed the spoonful of cake to the boy’s lips. Woohyun’s lips parted and he accepted the cake, though Sunggyu had managed to get frosting all over his mouth.

“Ah...sorry.” Sunggyu quickly looked around for a napkin and while he was rummaging through the basket accidentally dropped the spoon onto the grass.

Woohyun sighed and wiped some frosting from his bottom lip with his finger.

“Its ok. I already—.”

“No its fine!” Sunggyu suddenly blurted out. “I’ll just…uh…”

“We can just eat the cake at home—.” Woohyun tried to say, but then Sunggyu grabbed a piece of the cake with his hand and shoved it in front of Woohyun’s face. “…What?” Woohyun blinked in disbelief. “I’m not…are you f-feeding me with your hands?”

“You…you don’t want it?” Sunggyu cleared his throat, attempting to appear like he had everything under control which clearly wasn’t the case.

Woohyun’s cheeks reddened. “Hyung…th-this is…”

“Fine, don’t eat it then—.”

“No wait!” Woohyun gasped, clutching to Sunggyu’s wrist. He gulped for a moment, and he felt like his ears were burning as he tentatively licked some frosting from the piece of cake in Sunggyu’s hands.

Sunggyu’s eyes immediately widened. “Y-Yah…I didn’t tell you to l…lick…” His voice kind of got stuck in his throat when he felt Woohyun’s warm tongue glide along his fingers. And to make matters worse Woohyun was looking at him shyly as white cream clung to his pink lips like the worst kind of tease.

Sunggyu instantly tried to pull his hand away but Woohyun was clutching to his wrist with both hands and Sunggyu was pretty sure Woohyun was going to be the death of him.

Sunggyu ended up panicking and shoving the entire piece of cake in his hand onto Woohyun’s face.

Woohyun stared at him blankly for a moment, and all Sunggyu could see were his blinking eyes amongst all the frosting and cake on his face.

“I-I need to go do something I’ll be right back!” Sunggyu blurted out and suddenly got up and ran away. He realized that sounded like the stupidest excuse ever, because what did he have to do in some park in the middle of no where.

Once he was far away that he could no longer see Woohyun, he stopped by a tree and sighed deeply. He massaged his temples and tried to organize his thoughts. But all he could think about was Woohyun with frosting on his lips, Woohyun licking his hand, desperately wanting to bite Woohyun, Woohyun, Woohyun, Woohyun.

He felt like the worst part was that Woohyun was doing it all unintentionally. Well he wasn’t quite sure about that, once he thought about it for a bit. Woohyun seemed sort of slow sometimes but other times he seemed quite quick witted and mischievous. Sunggyu didn’t think Woohyun would seriously dare tease him like that…but then again.

Now Sunggyu was even more frustrated and almost determined to teach Woohyun a lesson. He refused to be manipulated by a high school student, he told himself and returned to the picnic site.

Woohyun had apparently cleaned his face and was checking his reflection in his phone to make sure he had gotten all the cake off his face. Sunggyu cautiously sat down, noticing a tiny bit of white frosting on Woohyun’s temple. He kind of completely forgot about his so called ‘teaching Woohyun a lesson’ plan and felt his insides go to mush.

He kind of hated this. He never thought he would be this weak for someone and out of everyone it was a kid.

He reached out and wiped the frosting off Woohyun’s face with his thumb.

“Sorry.” He smiled sheepishly.

Woohyun awkwardly backed away and ran a hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face. “Did you do what you needed to do?”

“Huh?” Sunggyu blinked.

“You said…you had something to do.” Woohyun raised an eyebrow implying he wasn’t being serious and Sunggyu cleared his throat.

“Uh…yeah.” He muttered. “What is this?” This wasn’t how Sunggyu planned for it to go. This wasn’t fair. Woohyun knew exactly what he was trying to do, Sunggyu realized. But he knew for sure that Woohyun didn’t understand and he decided he needed to help him realize that.

§

Woohyun leaned against the window, looking out at the scenery of the city, as they drove. Their picnic date was already over and Woohyun felt somewhat disappointed.

All he wanted was one kiss though he wouldn’t mind more, but that would just be him getting lucky (in more ways than one.)

He didn’t understand how a kiss would be so harmful. He was certain he could control himself from doing more, so he didn’t see anything wrong with it.

He turned his gaze to Sunggyu, and decided to admire his side profile. He bit his lip and hesitantly placed his hand over Sunggyu’s that was on his thigh.

However, Sunggyu instantly swatted his hand away and refused to acknowledge him.

Woohyun folded his hands in his lap, feeling his face burn crimson.

He was so embarrassed and instantly regretted what he had done at their picnic.

“Now he’s mad at me…”

§

Woohyun had this tiny speck of hope that they might go back to Sunggyu’s place to maybe cuddle and drink hot chocolate, but of course that wasn’t the case. Sunggyu stopped the car with the engine still running a few blocks from Woohyun’s house.

Woohyun looked out the window, reluctantly. He didn’t want their valentines day to just end like that. If they could at least make up that would be enough for him at his point.

He turned to Sunggyu, worriedly. “Hyung—.”

“The CD was crap.” Sunggyu suddenly said.

“…Huh?”

Sunggyu sighed and turned off the engine. “The mix you made for me…I listened to it yesterday. Didn’t you read the letter I gave you on your birthday? I wanted to hear songs that you like, songs that make you feel things…but it was just filled with cheesy love songs.”

Woohyun frowned. “But…those were songs that make me feel things….those were my feelings for you on Valentines Day.”

“John Mayer’s ‘Your body is a wonderland’ was on there…”

“But its true!” Woohyun argued, rather seriously. “Hyung, your body really is a wonderland, don’t you know?”

Sunggyu sighed heavily and massaged his temples. “…I guess its something that you actually understood those English lyrics—.”

“Well actually,” Woohyun smiled sheepishly. “Myungsoo kind of likes John Mayer songs so he’s the one who showed me the translated lyrics and stuff…”

“I just…” Sunggyu turned to him. “I wanted to learn about you. I already know you like me, but I’m not your whole life right? I wanted to know about Nam Woohyun, not Nam Woohyun’s feelings for Kim Sunggyu…do you get it?”

Woohyun’s gaze was in his lap, as he awkwardly turned his feet inwards. “…Why?”

“Hm?”

“Why…?” Woohyun rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s…” He chuckled awkwardly. “I don’t understand…”

“What do you not understand?” Sunggyu raised an eyebrow. “I just want to know more about you, I think I was pretty clear with that—.”

“But…why?” Woohyun smiled at him simply. “That’s…what I don’t understand hyung.”

Valentines Day ended up being a rather educational day for Sunggyu. He learned that there were many things Woohyun did not yet understand. A part of him wanted to teach Woohyun all of those things so the boy wouldn’t make similar mistakes to ones he had made growing up, but another part of him knew that there were some things he simply couldn’t teach him and Woohyun would have to learn for himself.


	16. The Kiss

That evening, Woohyun went over to Myungsoo’s house for a sleepover. While Myungsoo was downstairs getting some snacks, Woohyun waited in his bedroom, when he received a phone call from Sungyeol.

Sungyeol had asked him where he was, but when he answered Myungsoo’s house, Sungyeol seemed confused. Woohyun didn’t really think as to why Myungsoo only invited him and not Sungyeol and told Sungyeol he can come over as well.

After hanging up with him, Myungsoo returned with snacks and soda.

“Sungyeol just called, and he didn’t know you were having a sleepover so I told him.” Woohyun explained. “He’s coming over now—.”

“Why’d you do that?” Myungsoo instantly frowned. “I…I didn’t invite him for a reason. There was something I wanted to tell you… _alone._ ”

“Ok?” Woohyun blinked. “But…why me?”

§

Sunggyu was planning to have a nice, quiet evening at home relaxing in front of the television (and maybe getting some work done). Unfortunately his plans were dashed by his mother who had decided to come over unannounced.

“Look at how sad this is…” Mrs. Kim gestured to the space around her as she began tidying up Sunggyu’s living room. “Sitting at home alone on Valentines Day…This should be a day to be with a sweet girl and out having fun and getting engaged—.”

“Mom.” Sunggyu closed the fridge and sighed softly. “Remember our deal?”

“Yes but…” His mother stared at the cluttered coffee table for a moment before joining him in the kitchen. “Isn’t it lonely like this? Are you lonely sweetie?” She rubbed his cheek in an affectionate, motherly way. “I worry about you…if you had someone to take care of you, I would be able to sleep at night.”

Sunggyu was the youngest child in his family so it was somewhat typical of his mother to baby him to a certain degree.

“Mom…” Sunggyu took his mother’s hand in his. “I…I’m fine.”

“Ok, but I have this friend and her daughter—.”

“Mom.” Sunggyu gave his mother a stern look.

“You don’t have to propose to her!” Mrs. Kim sighed. “Its just one date, ok? Just one…do it for me ok?”

“Mom…” Sunggyu felt his resolve thinning. He hadn’t realized when he made that deal with his mother that his mother was one of the few people who he almost always gave in to. “But…our deal…”

“Its just one date, Gyu~”

Sunggyu couldn’t help but think of Woohyun’s hurt expression once he found out. But…how would he find out? That’s right, Sunggyu thought. There wasn’t any way Woohyun could possibly find out and besides it was just one date for his mother’s sake.

Woohyun wouldn’t find out.

Sunggyu repeated those words like a mantra in his head until he was pretty sure he believed it.

§

“But why wouldn’t you want to tell Sungyeol about your summer photography internship in Japan?” Woohyun asked. He and Myungsoo were helping to set the table as Myungsoo’s mother prepared dinner in the kitchen.

“Its not that I don’t want to.” Myungsoo smiled softly as he put a bowl down. “Its just…I don’t really know how? I don’t know…I don’t want him to get mad or something…”

Woohyun always kind of felt like Myungsoo and Sungyeol had a much closer bond and he was somewhat of a third wheel at times. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t close to them, but they always seemed more like “best friends” while he would categorize his relationship with them as “friends.”

“Sungyeol’s your best friend…he’ll be really happy for you. I know it.” Woohyun assured him.

“Yeah…” Myungsoo nodded shyly.

Sungyeol soon arrived and Woohyun and him went upstairs while Myungsoo helped his mother finish up dinner.

“Want to play?” Woohyun held up the game controller.

“Sure.” Sungyeol shrugged and watched Woohyun turn on the game console and the small television in Myungsoo’s room. “So…” Sungyeol bit his lip. “What’d you guys do?”

“Hm?” Woohyun turned to him. “Nothing much…we just played some games and talked a bit…”

“Ah…” Sungyeol studied Woohyun’s face for a moment. “What kind of things?”

“Just things.” Woohyun smiled in a relaxed manner and handed him his controller. But instead, Sungyeol tossed the controller away and leaned forward—a little too close for comfort.

“Do you…” Sungyeol murmured and Woohyun could feel the taller boy’s breath on his cheek. “Do you and Myungsoo…”

“What?” Woohyun backed away with an awkward laugh. “Do we what? You’re acting weird—.” Suddenly Sungyeol tackled him onto the floor, gripping tightly to his wrists.  
Sung—.” Woohyun’s eyes squeezed shut when he felt Sungyeol’s slightly chapped lips against his own. It was obvious Sungyeol was inexperienced from the sloppy, somewhat rushed manner of the way he kissed Woohyun, but it was still warm. But at the same time Woohyun didn’t know what to feel, or rather…he didn’t feel _anything_ , except a growing uneasiness in his heart. He managed to wriggle his wrists out of Sungyeol’s grasp and pushed against his chest, until he could crawl out from underneath the heavier boy. He crawled backwards until he felt his back pressed to the closet door. He stared at Sungyeol wide eyed and Sungyeol stared back looking equally as shocked by what he had done.

“What…” Woohyun put a finger to his lips. “What was—?”

“Guys,” Myungsoo suddenly burst in, obliviously interrupting the tense atmosphere. “Dinner’s ready so—hm?” He looked at the both of them on the floor. “What’s wrong?”

Woohyun quickly stood up and dusted off the imaginary dirt from his pants. “I…I’m sorry Myungsoo I have to go.”

“Huh?” Woohyun patted the boy’s shoulder and leaned into his ear. “I’ll give you a chance to tell Sungyeol about the internship, ok?”

“But…” Myungsoo blinked. “Really?”

Woohyun nodded assuredly, sent him a small smile, grabbed his bag and walked out as calmly as he could. Sungyeol silently watched him leave, realizing Woohyun didn’t even spare him one glance as he left.

§

Woohyun spent half of the rest of his weekend, extremely confused about why exactly Sungyeol decided to randomly kiss him. He spent the other half, feeling extremely guilty like he had somehow betrayed Sunggyu. He knew he would have to tell Sunggyu about the kiss, but he was scared. He had no idea how Sunggyu would react.

Would he be mad? Would he hate him? Would he leave him?

Woohyun didn’t want to think of the horrible possibilities but he couldn’t help but be tortured by such thoughts.

All he knew was that he was dreading Monday morning.

§

Sunggyu was extra jumpy that Monday morning. It wasn’t as if Woohyun would find out about his date, but he still felt on edge. Woohyun could be weirdly perceptive sometimes and that made Sunggyu nervous. But as class proceeded he noticed Woohyun wouldn’t meet his eyes at all. At first he thought everything was normal but as soon as class ended, Woohyun was the first to leave, when usually he would be the last.

He noticed he wasn’t eating with Myungsoo and Sungyeol at lunch time either.

“ _Did…did he find out?”_ Sunggyu wondered as he walked up the steps leading to the rooftop. Last time Woohyun was there, so he guessed he might be again.

He realized that maybe Woohyun wasn’t that hard to read after all when he saw him there. His fingers were gripped to the metal circles of the fence, and his expression was melancholic.

“There you are.” Sunggyu sighed in relief. “Yah, why aren’t you eating lunch with your friends?” He tried to act as if everything was normal in hopes that Woohyun didn’t actually know about the date.

Woohyun turned to him, with widened eyes before quickly looking away.

“Oh…”

“ _Oh_?” Sunggyu frowned. “What happened?”

“N-Nothing.” Woohyun coughed. “No…its not…”

Sunggyu folded his arms. “Woohyun-ah—.”

“I…” Woohyun suddenly had a panicky look in his eyes and quickly shook his head. “I…I have to go.”

“Wait,” Sunggyu reached out for his arm but Woohyun avoided him and then he was gone. Sunggyu was left standing on the rooftop as a chilly wind passed. He suddenly felt something unsettling in the pit of his stomach—almost like a premonition.

§

Woohyun managed to somehow avoid both Sunggyu and Sungyeol for the entire day, though his luck failed him when he walked into the library and saw Sunggyu sitting there.

“ _I…_ ” Woohyun clenched his fists. “ _I’ll tell him this time. Right now.”_

Though he tried to tell himself that, his hands were trembling with anxiety as he slowly walked towards the table Sunggyu was sitting at.

“Sun—Sunsaeng-nim…” Woohyun cleared his throat. As Sunggyu looked up, his dark framed glasses slid lower on the bridge of his nose.

“ _Crap…”_ Woohyun bit his lip. “ _Why…why is he wearing those glasses?”_

“What?’ Sunggyu ran a hand through his somewhat disheveled reddish brown hair after adjusting his glasses. “I’m busy.” Woohyun suddenly couldn’t stop staring. Sunggyu’s light grey button up shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and he looked tired and annoyed but Woohyun didn’t quite understand why it was kind of sort of really attractive.

Ok no that was a lie—he wasn’t _just_ attractive and Woohyun found himself forgetting to breathe for a moment.

“Uh…” He cautiously sat down. “I…” Everything he was planning to say, completely disappeared from his mind when Sunggyu raised an eyebrow at him with somewhat of an impatient stare. Woohyun knew for sure this wasn’t the time for him to be reminded of that teacher themed porn he watched last week. But then Sunggyu put down his pen rather aggressively and was kind of glaring at him and Woohyun shuddered.

“I…” He murmured, becoming somewhat breathless, his expression ripe with guilt. “I-I did something _naughty_.” He blurted out. Sunggyu’s glasses slid lower on the bridge of his nose and Woohyun clamped his hands to his mouth in horror. Of course that was not what he meant to say or to say in such a suggestive manner. He blamed it on that porn…and Sunggyu’s glasses, and Sunggyu’s forearms and—.

Sunggyu suddenly stood up and started walking away. Woohyun panicked and hastily followed him deep into the library to an empty row of book shelves.

“Hyung—Sunsaeng-nim…” Woohyun whispered hoarsely. “That’s not—I-I mean I didn’t—.” Sunggyu suddenly cornered him against a bookshelf, his hands pressed to the shelf on either side of Woohyun’s head, trapping him. Woohyun instinctively shut his eyes when he realized Sunggyu’s face was mere inches from his.

“Yah…” Woohyun could feel Sunggyu’s breath on his skin and it made him feel hot despite the chilliness in the library. “What do you think you’re doing?” Sunggyu’s tone of voice was gravelly and disciplinary and Woohyun was pretty sure he was going to melt. Then Sunggyu sighed, though it was closer to a groan as his lips grazed the shell of Woohyun’s ear. “Stop…stop doing this to hyung.” Even Woohyun could sense the edge of desperation in Sunggyu’s voice and it was burning him with temptation. He clutched to the collar of Sunggyu’s shirt.

“Hyung…” He uttered in a whispery moan. “I…I’m a naughty student,” He grabbed Sunggyu’s hand, pressing the older man’s palm to his abdomen. “T-Teach me a lesson,” He whispered into Sunggyu’s ear. “ _Privately.”_

Sunggyu immediately pushed him away and took a step back, though his breathing was labored like it took everything in him to resist. “You…what the hell is wrong with you?”

Sunggyu stormed off in a fury and returned to his table, hastily packed his stuff and exited the library.

Woohyun slid to his knees, leaning against the bookshelf. “Ugh…” He buried his head in his hands. “I’m so damn stupid ugh. Why…why the hell did I do that….?”

§

Sunggyu wasn’t surprised when Woohyun didn’t show up at his house at seven in the morning that Saturday like he usually did. They had managed to avoid each other quite successfully for the rest of the week since their encounter in the library.

Sunggyu was kind of relieved Woohyun didn’t show up. He wasn’t sure exactly how to deal with him anymore. He didn’t want to fault Woohyun but the boy knew Sunggyu couldn’t do anything with him. His hands were tied and Woohyun knew that. Sunggyu was sure he had told Woohyun that many times and that it wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but that he couldn’t.

And yet Woohyun continued to…to tease and push him like this. Sunggyu didn’t really understand, but at the same time that wasn’t exactly true. Woohyun was a teenager and it was an age for him to begin exploring and discovering his sexuality. Of course that would be something that he thought about constantly.

Sunggyu sat down on the sofa that evening and put his glass of water on the table with a sigh. (He was trying to cut down on his alcohol intake.) It was times like these when he felt like he and Woohyun couldn’t work. It was times like these when he realized Woohyun should be with someone his own age.

But at the same time he had this nagging, possessive feeling in the back of his mind. He didn’t want to give up Woohyun. He knew he really wasn’t allowed to feel that way, but somewhere deep inside his heart he wanted Woohyun to only be his and he didn’t want to let him go. He massaged his temples as he felt a sense of guilt wash over him because of his rather childish thoughts.

“Why didn’t I fall in love with someone my own age…?” He muttered to himself and then realized something. “Fall…no—that’s not…have I…?”

Suddenly the door bell rang, interrupting his thoughts. Sunggyu stood up, absently rubbing the back of his head. “ _Woohyun_?”

And sure enough the boy in his thoughts was standing there at the door, wearing a dark red sweatshirt and a somewhat guilty expression.

“Hyung…” He started out instantly with the puppy eyes and Sunggyu could only sigh. “Hyung…” Woohyun repeated in a worried, somewhat clingy sounding tone as Sunggyu moved aside to let him in. Woohyun made grabby hands as he went in for a hug, and though Sunggyu really wanted to hug him too he pushed him away.

“Yah, who said you could come here?”

Woohyun instantly gave up his attempts at a hug and frowned. “Hyung…” He murmured pitifully and Sunggyu really, _really_ wanted to give in and hold the boy tightly and never let go. But he held himself back and rested his hands on his hips instead.

“What?”

“I…” Woohyun pursed his lips hesitantly. “I’m sorry. At…at the library that time—i-it was a mistake! There was something I needed to tell you a-and I know I was acting weird and stupid b-but its just…” He whimpered, remembering Sunggyu’s appearance that day. “You…you were wearing those glasses and you looked so sexy and it reminded me of this thing I watched—ah except the teacher was a woman in that…b-but you looked way sexier than she did! But —.”

Sunggyu sighed loudly, already feeling a headache coming on. He also noticed he had never seen Woohyun talk this much before. “What the hell are you even talking about?”

“I…” Woohyun took a deep breath. “The thing…that I actually wanted to tell you in the library was…it was about Sungyeol, he…on Valentines Day he kissed me…at Myungsoo’s sleepover.”

“What.” Sunggyu snorted. Woohyun instantly looked up and studied Sunggyu’s face for his reaction. However Sunggyu didn’t seem very angry or upset and basically had a very lackluster reaction. “That’s it?”

“….Huh?” Woohyun blinked.

Sunggyu almost laughed and suddenly felt a wave of relief wash over him. He had so many worries about Woohyun finding out about his date on Valentines Day or that he and Woohyun weren’t right for each other due to not being able to even kiss, when Woohyun wanted that so much. But all this time…none of those were even on Woohyun’s mind at all. Sunggyu actually did laugh after it truly sunk in that he basically worried for nothing and Woohyun was more than a little confused to say the least.

“What…what’s wrong?” Woohyun’s eyebrows furrowed worriedly as he followed Sunggyu into the kitchen. “Why’re you laughing?” Sunggyu studied the contents of his fridge for a moment before suddenly turning around and pulling Woohyun into a snug embrace.

“I can’t believe that’s all it was.” Sunggyu chuckled softly as he stroked the back of Woohyun’s head. “Ah…I missed hugging my Woohyunnie.”

Woohyun felt his cheeks get warm at Sunggyu’s sudden burst of affection. “B-But…you’re not mad?”

“Why?” Sunggyu pulled away to smile at him. “Should I be?”

“No!” Woohyun gasped and buried his face into Sunggyu’s chest. “But…you’re not even jealous?” He mumbled mostly to himself, but Sunggyu still managed to hear him.

“Do you want me to be?” Sunggyu hummed in an amused tone.

“…A little bit.” Woohyun admitted, sheepishly.

Sunggyu adjusted Woohyun’s bangs so he had a center part and kissed his forehead before fixing Woohyun’s bangs again. “There. Who’s kiss is better?”

“Gyu hyung’s!” Woohyun answered almost immediately and wrapped his arms tightly around Sunggyu’s waist and sighed contentedly as he used the older man’s chest as his pillow. Suddenly he felt Sunggyu’s arms wrap around his waist rather firmly and at first he thought he was hugging him, but soon enough his feet weren’t touching the ground anymore. “W-What’re you doing?” Woohyun absently wrapped his legs around Sunggyu’s waist because he wasn’t quite sure if Sunggyu was just going to drop him somewhere.

But then he felt the sofa cushions under his back, as Sunggyu put him down on the couch rather gently.

“What…” Woohyun murmured as Sunggyu lay on top of him and simply hugged him. “What’re you doing hyung?”

“Just…” Sunggyu had one hand on the back of Woohyun’s head and the other arm wrapped snugly around his waist. “I just want to hold you for a second.”

Woohyun’s heart skipped a beat and he felt like he was floating on a cloud despite having Sunggyu’s body weight on top of him. “Hyung.” He bit his lip though his smile was almost going to make his cheeks burst.

“I missed you dummy.” Sunggyu chuckled in a whispery tone and then Woohyun made this groan like whimper sound that made Sunggyu kind of want to bite him.

That reminded him that he hadn’t had dinner yet and that he had a stew cooking on the stove. Sunggyu suddenly gasped and got off Woohyun and rushed to the kitchen. Woohyun sat up, still holding his arms out with a pout. It was obvious he was disappointed at how quickly their hugging session had ended.

“Hyung…?”

“Good, it didn’t burn….” Sunggyu sighed in relief and stirred the pot a bit as Woohyun joined him in the kitchen. Sunggyu kind of regretted being so affectionate with Woohyun because that apparently gave Woohyun some kind of signals that it was ok to back hug him while he was cooking. “What’re you doing?” Sunggyu sighed, as Woohyun rested his cheek in between Sunggyu’s shoulder blades.

“Its cold—.”

“No its not.”

“We weren’t done hugging.” Woohyun complained.

“I was done.” Sunggyu pulled Woohyun’s arms off him and headed for the fridge. “Did you already eat dinner?”

“No.” Woohyun nodded.

“Then go home and eat.”

Woohyun laughed but Sunggyu’s expression was dead serious.

“I’m pretty sure the buses are still running.” Sunggyu checked his watch. “If you run you can catch the one that comes by at 7:30—.”

“Can’t I just stay the night…just this one time?” Woohyun frowned.

“Yah,” Sunggyu stared at him incredulously. “Not even just dinner, but you’re asking to sleep over too? Wow you really have no shame do you?”

“But hyung—.”

“Go home. Your parents must be worried—.”

“I…I might’ve told them I was staying over at a friend’s house.” Woohyun looked away sheepishly.

“Which friend? I can drop you off—.”

“Hyung…!” Woohyun clutched onto Sunggyu’s arm in one last desperate attempt. “Its only one night…I won’t do anything bad I promise.”

“ _Which_ friend?” Sunggyu repeated in a stern manner. However Woohyun was just as relentless and clutched tighter to Sunggyu’s arm and rubbed his cheek against the older man’s sleeve.

“I’ll leave right away tomorrow morning and I won’t bother you at all. I promise!” Woohyun whined. “I swear!”

Sunggyu closed his eyes, in aggravation because as much as he knew he shouldn’t he was two seconds away from giving in. “I have work to do so don’t bother me after dinner and you’re sleeping on the couch.”

Woohyun nodded seriously, and even saluted him in a rather lame fashion. “Yes sir.”


	17. Sleepover

Sunggyu was quite surprised that Woohyun actually stuck to his word and quietly sat on the sofa and watched television while Sunggyu graded some papers at the kitchen table. But then Woohyun got up and came into the kitchen. Sunggyu looked up from his work and watched Woohyun take some apples and cut them up. Then he walked over to Sunggyu and put a bowl of sliced fruit on the table beside his papers.

“You’re working hard.” He smiled softly, patted Sunggyu’s shoulder and returned to the sofa. Sunggyu couldn’t help but feel the tiniest bit of disappointment. Sure he told Woohyun to leave him alone to finish his work, but it was a bit unnerving how Woohyun was so obediently listening to him and being rather mature about the situation.

He tapped his fingers on the table, in a frustrated state. “ _Focus_.” He told himself. “ _Just ignore him.”_

However two minutes later he was sitting down beside Woohyun in front of the television. Woohyun looked to him happily and moved closer to snuggle but Sunggyu held up a hand.

“I’m just taking a five minute break.” Sunggyu explained as he folded his arms.

“Ok.” Woohyun nodded and started watching Sunggyu like he was the television screen. “Can I hug you?”

“No.”

Woohyun frowned. “How about a massage? You were working hard—.”

“Hah nice try.” Sunggyu snorted. “Sounds like a lame excuse to get your hands on me.”

Woohyun chuckled sheepishly. “Aw darn you caught me…” Though the look in his eyes was of sincere concern and Sunggyu felt a bit guilty like he was being too cold to him.

“Uh…” Sunggyu cleared his throat. “So did you talk to Sungyeol?”

“Huh?”

“About why he kissed you.”

“Ah….” Woohyun leaned back against the arm rest and folded his arms over his chest. “No…not really.”

“So, what? You just avoided him for the entire week?” Sunggyu snorted.

Well I mean,” Woohyun shrugged. “I managed to do that with you too so…”

“Maybe you should stop avoiding people and actually deal with them.” Sunggyu suggested in a rather snippy tone.

Woohyun nodded in a daze. “Right…can you say that one more time but with your glasses on?” He gestured to his eye and then chuckled when Sunggyu glared at him.

Sunggyu flicked his forehead and got up. “I’m going to sleep,” He paused for a moment as he shoved his hands in his pockets. “And don’t even try to sneak in my room you little pervert.”

“Pervert?” Woohyun pouted. “Is that what you really think of me hyung? That I’m some dirty minded, puberty driven, porn watching, teenage lust monkey?”

Sunggyu stared at him for a moment. “Yes. That’s exactly what I think of you.”

§

Apparently Sunggyu was lying, Woohyun realized when he snuck into his bedroom after Sunggyu had fallen asleep, because his teacher hadn’t even locked his door.

Woohyun bit his lip nervously, as he crept towards the bed. He peered over the comforter to see Sunggyu lying flat on his back with the blanket covering half his chest with his arms spread out.

“ _Ah…hyung looks so cute when he’s sleeping_ …” Woohyun’s fingers trembled as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “ _If…if I just take one picture…he won’t wake up, will he_?”

Sunggyu stirred a bit in his sleep when Woohyun turned on his phone so the boy panicked and quickly snapped a picture. Luckily it turned out pretty good and he stared at it happily for a moment, before pocketing his phone. Sunggyu seemed to still be fast asleep so Woohyun took a risk and quietly crawled into bed beside him. He lay down right under Sunggyu’s outstretched arm and watched him sleep for a moment. He closed his eyes but only two seconds later quickly opened them, not wanting to miss a second of gazing at Sunggyu’s side profile.

His eyes traced Sunggyu’s slightly parted lips for a moment and a thought of kissing him wandered through his mind. But then he quickly clamped his hands to his face and rolled over in embarrassment over even thinking of doing such a thing. He lay on his back for a moment, staring up at the ceiling.

“ _So this is…this is what hyung goes to sleep to and wakes up to every day…”_ He thought in a daze as he felt a shrill, tingling feeling in his stomach. He tilted his head towards Sunggyu’s sleeping frame for a moment, relishing in the comforting scent of the pillow case and the warmth of Sunggyu’s body being so close to his. He hesitantly reached out when Sunggyu suddenly rolled over on top of him.

Woohyun squeezed his eyes shut and let out a whimper as he felt Sunggyu’s body weight suddenly on top of him. His heart was racing, scared that Sunggyu had woken up. But then he heard a slight grunt like snore and Sunggyu’s soft, steady breaths against his cheek.

Woohyun’s heart almost leapt out of his chest as Sunggyu’s arms encircled his waist and he buried his nose into the crook of Woohyun’s neck. Sunggyu was actually snuggling with him in his sleep and Woohyun was pretty sure he was dreaming.

But since it had already gotten this far, Woohyun figured he had nothing to lose as he slipped his arms under Sunggyu’s arms and around his shoulders to clutch onto the back of Sunggyu’s shirt. He breathed out a dreamy sigh, practically beaming from happiness.

§

Sunggyu woke up, (surprisingly without his alarm clock blaring in his ear) to Woohyun’s face—right there, but a few centimeters from his own. Sunggyu didn’t even have the energy to be surprised.

“ _I can’t believe this kid_ ….” Sunggyu thought with a tired sigh. He knew he should’ve woken Woohyun up right away and punished him with a stern scolding or something. But instead he found himself lying there watching Woohyun’s sleeping face—the way soft puffs of air escaped his plump, slightly parted lips.

He looked so peaceful and innocent and it kind of made Sunggyu’s heart ache with warmth. He smiled softly and caressed the boy’s cheek. “ _So much different than the perverted crybaby he is when he’s awake….”_ But Sunggyu was still smiling because Woohyun was so much more than that in so many ways. “Woohyun-ah…” He spoke in a whispery voice, but Woohyun was completely out, mostly because he had stayed up for hours staring at Sunggyu sleeping. However his nose did twitch a tiny bit and it was such a small movement but it still somehow melted Sunggyu’s heart. “Woohyun-ah…” He repeated, leaning forward ever so slightly. Woohyun didn’t even budge when Sunggyu kissed the tip of his nose. Sunggyu poked his nose for a moment in amusement. “ _Ah…he’s really not waking up…”_

Suddenly Woohyun made a whimpery sound. “Gyu…hyung…”

“Hm?” Sunggyu rubbed Woohyun’s cheekbone with his thumb. “Hyung is right here.”

Suddenly Woohyun chuckled and turned his face onto the pillow so his voice became muffled. “Hyung…that’s too much~”.

Sunggyu raised an eyebrow. “… _What’s he talking about_?”

“Ahh Gyu hyung is such a pervert~” Woohyun whined and rolled over onto his stomach, face deep in the pillow.

“ _What…the hell?”_ Sunggyu made a face. _“Is he really having a dirty dream about me in my own damn bed…?_ ”

§

Sunggyu decided to leave Woohyun to his…dreams and went into the kitchen to make breakfast.

Though as he cracked some eggs onto a frying pan his thoughts went back to Woohyun’s sleeping face.

“ _Ah…_ ” Sunggyu clutched onto a spatula with a dazed expression. “ _I should’ve stayed in bed longer…_ ” He pursed his lips, thinking of Woohyun’s adorable sleeping face and sighed. “ _Damn it…why—why does he look so innocent when he’s sleeping…?”_ He suddenly felt guilt in the pit of his stomach for even thinking about how much he wanted to bite Woohyun when he was asleep.

“Morning hyung.”

Sunggyu turned around slightly startled to see Woohyun standing there, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

“A-Ah….you’re awake.”

Woohyun smiled sleepily and went up to Sunggyu and hugged him. “Its cold…” He rubbed his nose into Sunggyu’s shoulder and he really wasn’t helping dispel Sunggyu’s urges to bite him.

“Did…did you sleep well?” Sunggyu patted the boy’s head while he clenched his fist with his other hand in an effort to practice self control.

“Why did you leave?” Woohyun looked up at him with a pout, whilst still keeping his arms firmly wrapped around Sunggyu’s waist.

“Huh?”

“Why did you leave while I was sleeping?” Woohyun’s shoulders waggled slightly in a rather cute fashion. “I…I was lonely.”

Sunggyu really couldn’t take it anymore with Woohyun’s clingy behavior coupled with his puppy eyes and slight pout. “Ahh…” He sighed in a whiny manner and held Woohyun’s face. “Woohyunnie was lonely?” He cooed and brushed Woohyun’s messy bangs out of his face to kiss his forehead. “But I had to get up to make breakfast.”

Woohyun looked up at him with wide eyes for a moment before casting his gaze downwards and smiling shyly. “Ah…” He nodded and leaned his cheek against Sunggyu’s chest again. Sunggyu sighed in a daze and petted his head, but then he realized what exactly he was doing.

“W-Wait a second!” He pushed Woohyun away in an instant. “Yah! Who said you could sneak into my bed? I specifically told you _not_ to do that last night!”

Woohyun bit his lip and his eyes held a mischievous glint. “Well…you didn’t lock the door.”

“Wow.” Sunggyu shook his head. “So, what? I had to lock the door because you’re some kind of wild animal that can’t bother to listen to what I’ve told you?”

Woohyun frowned. “That…that’s not it. I-It was cold but I really was going to leave but then you rolled over on top of me so I couldn’t move and—.”

“You shouldn’t have been in my room in the first place.” Sunggyu sighed. “Why don’t you understand? If one of us was a girl you wouldn’t have dared to even think of doing that…”

“But, we’re not girls hyung.” Woohyun blinked.

“Don’t you get it stupid?” Sunggyu groaned. “Its dangerous!”

“Don’t worry. I didn’t do anything to you. I wouldn’t take advantage of you like that.” Woohyun frowned. “I would never even think of—.”

“ _You’re_ not the problem! _I_ am!” Sunggyu shook his shoulders to somehow instill into the boy what he was trying so hard to explain. “Why don’t you get it?! I’m a full grown adult man, doesn’t that make you at least a bit hesitant?”

“But…” Woohyun smiled softly. “Hyung would never do anything like that.”

“You’re overestimating me.” Sunggyu muttered under his breath as he turned to the eggs on the counter that had now gotten cold. “Become a bit more self aware…”

Woohyun watched him for a moment with a growing frustration building. If nothing else, he knew he was at least self aware enough.

“I’m not clueless you know?” Woohyun suddenly said. “I just…I trust you. I know you would never—.”

“You don’t _know_ anything.” Sunggyu chucked the spatula on the counter and turned to him in an aggressive manner. “Did you know what you were doing this morning? You were out cold, completely out—completely vulnerable. Do you not realize—?”

“You’re not a bad person!” Woohyun argued. “You would never—.”

“How do you know that?” Sunggyu took a step towards him. “You…” Another step. “You really don’t know anything, do you?” Woohyun absently stumbled backwards at every step Sunggyu took towards him.

“It…its not going to work…” Woohyun murmured as he felt the countertop behind him. “It doesn’t matter how many times you try to play the bad guy, it won’t work hyung. I know you’re a good person. I know you—.”

“It’s not a matter of being a good person or a bad person…” Sunggyu cornered him against the countertop. He leaned on the countertop, arms on either side of Woohyun, blockading him in. “I don’t think you understand how much I have to hold myself back every time I see you.”

“I do too….” Woohyun mumbled. “I…I also want you so much—.”

“No, it’s not the same.” Sunggyu stood back. “You don’t…understand an adult’s greed…you—you can’t understand—.”

“What’s the point of that?” Woohyun blurted out. “Is there any point in constantly telling me I don’t understand and that’s it? I’m not five years old. I…I know about sex…a-and stuff.”

Sunggyu sighed softly, almost in a pitying way and it bothered Woohyun to no end.

“Stop looking at me like that. I…I—.”

“Woohyun-ah,” Sunggyu patted his head. “Go sit down. Let’s eat breakfast.”

§

Breakfast was a silent, uncomfortable affair for Woohyun. He was somewhat pissed at the way Sunggyu seemed to be patronizing him and treating him like he was immature and inexperienced. 

Sunggyu suddenly put a bowl of strawberries down in the middle of the table between them and sat back down.

“Woohyun…”

“I…remember I told you? I’m not a virgin. I have—I’ve done things too. I know—.”

“Woohyun—.”

“You never even give me a chance you just assume I don’t know anything—.”

Sunggyu sighed loudly and chewed on a strawberry in a relaxed manner. “Are you done whining?”

Woohyun frowned and silently picked a strawberry from the bowl.

“Listen,” Sunggyu folded his arms on the table. “Its not a matter of inexperience which doesn’t matter anyways. Its good to be informed but its fine to not know things or to not have experienced everything. You’re young after all, it’d be more concerning for me if you knew too much.”

Woohyun pursed his lips. “But…”

“I…” Sunggyu averted his eyes for a moment. “This is about me…its just—I have a difficult time controlling myself around you. You…I mean I’m just not quite used to it yet, but I’ll learn to—.”

“But hyung…you don’t have to.” Woohyun leaned forward, biting his lip. “I…I also want to—.”

“No…I have to.” Sunggyu sighed, pausing for a moment to think of how to word out his thoughts. “I…for me a kiss…it wouldn’t just be a kiss. I—I mean its been building up for so long I’m not sure if I would…be able to stop there. Besides…right now its…wrong.” He met Woohyun’s gaze from the corner of his eyes to gauge his reaction. But Woohyun’s expression was unreadable as if processing Sunggyu’s words.

“So…so what you’re saying is…” Woohyun folded his hands on the table. “That you haven’t gotten laid in years and you’re extremely horny and you really want to have sex with me but you want to wait until my birthday next year?”

Sunggyu nodded in a daze for a moment. “Wait—what? N-No! That’s not—.”

“Its ok hyung, I understand.” Woohyun nodded calmly and got up to grab his bag. “That’s why I found this really nice theme park by the beach and there’s also a fancy hotel close to it.” He opened up the brochure he pulled out of his bag. “Apparently the hotel has scenic, romantic views of the beach and its a perfect spot for honeymooning or young couples to make love for the first time—.”

“Yah! Stop! Shut up!” Sunggyu groaned and massaged his temples. “What the hell is wrong with you? How did you manage to completely twist what I was trying to say?”

“How did I twist it?” Woohyun grinned. “You said you want to be with me but that we should wait right?”

Sunggyu blinked. “W-Well…”

“And that its hard to control yourself when I keep teasing you and begging you to kiss me and stuff, right?”

“Well…uh…” Sunggyu scratched his head, awkwardly. “K-Kind of—.”

“So that’s why this is perfect.” Woohyun pointed to the brochure on the table. “I was thinking we could go this summer.”

“Yah, you won’t be legal yet by then don’t you mean next summer?”

“Ok, so its confirmed for next summer!” Woohyun clasped his hands together excitably and somehow suddenly had Sunggyu’s laptop in front of him. “I’ll book the hotel with the special honeymoon suite.”

“W-Wait that’s not what I meant!” Sunggyu replied in a flustered manner. “Besides how’re you gonna pay for that?”

“I’m not, you are.” Woohyun held up Sunggyu’s credit card. Sunggyu gasped and looked around in confusion.

“How…? How’d you get my—?”

“There! Its booked!” Woohyun cheered.

“Yah!” Sunggyu got up and rounded the table with a threatening glare. “You—.”

But then Woohyun chuckled. “I was kidding I didn’t really book it yet.”

Sunggyu sighed in relief and practically fell back into his chair. “You give me so much stress….”

Woohyun smiled in amusement. “But hyung…I won’t book it now, but…can we really go?”

Sunggyu glared at him. “No.”

“But—.”

“After that stunt you pulled, you think I would say yes?” Sunggyu huffed. “Because of your bad behavior, no more hugs.”

“W-What?” Woohyun frowned. “But hyung I didn’t—.”

“That means normal hugs, backhugs, cuddling, snuggling, and oh…you wanted to kiss me?” Sunggyu raised an eyebrow. “Well too bad because that’s never gonna happen now.”

“N-No…” Woohyun pouted like a rejected puppy at the pound as he watched Sunggyu pick up the plates and take them to the kitchen. “Hyung…don’t be like this. I’m sorry—.”

“Oh, you’re sorry? That’s nice.” Sunggyu snorted as he put the dishes in the sink. “Anyways isn’t the bus coming soon? You should go now so you can catch it—.”

Woohyun hurried into the kitchen and followed Sunggyu around in an alarmed state. “Hyung I’m sorry ok? Please don’t ban hugs…hugs are all I get.”

“Well too bad, because now you won’t even be getting hugs. I hope you’re happy with yourself.”

§

Woohyun was a sad sack on the floor at lunch time on Monday. The three friends decided to eat their lunch on the rooftop for a change, however Woohyun had no interest in eating at the moment.

“ _No more hugs…”_ He sighed heavily. “ _Its only been a day and a half but…I already miss hyung’s warmth…ah his chest really was comfy to lie on…I should’ve laid on it more when I had the chance…”_

“Yah,” Sungyeol snapped him out of his thoughts. “Are you gonna eat or do I have to feed you?”

At that, Woohyun instantly sat up and reached for his lunch box. “No…I’m ok.” He murmured, refusing eye contact with the taller boy.

But when Woohyun subtly met his gaze, Sungyeol coughed loudly and they both found themselves having staring contests with their lunches. Myungsoo, however didn’t really understand what was going on, but then again his two friends were usually pretty weird so he didn’t take it to heart.

“S-So anyways…” Sungyeol piped up in an attempt to divert from the awkward atmosphere between himself and Woohyun. “When’s Myungsoo’s going away party? I can’t wait for you to leave.”

“Wow I’m so hurt.” Myungsoo grinned. “And I don’t need a going away party, the internship is only three weeks long…so what about you guys? What’re your plans for the summer?”

And then it hit Woohyun like a ton of bricks.

Usually he would look forward to summer, because summer meant no school. But now he realized he wasn’t looking forward to it for that exact same reason. No school meant not being able to have an excuse to see Sunggyu every day.

No, but aside from that, there was something else. Summer meant another school year passing and Woohyun getting closer to graduation.

He was still at an impasse with what exactly it was he wanted to do after high school. Of course the usual, most reliant thing to do would be to go to college. But he wasn’t quite sure what he would do there.

He loved soccer, so perhaps a sports scholarship. His gaze fell to his backpack beside him, as he thought of the notebook inside, filled with the lyrics and poems he had been writing for years in secret.

“ _What…”_ He sighed softly, though Sungyeol and Myungsoo were in the middle of some sort of argument over a bag of chips and didn’t notice. “ _What should I do…?”_

§

Woohyun was in the school’s soccer team (part of the reason he was quite popular in school, aside from his general attractiveness). The team had a practice match that afternoon after school and Sunggyu decided to go watch him. He discreetly climbed onto the bleachers and took a seat slightly far away so he wouldn’t be spotted.

Luckily no one seemed to notice him for the first half of the game and he could watch in peace. Though more than anything else, he was amazed at what he saw. Woohyun was so different than his usual self that he was with Sunggyu. He was dead serious and intense and quick and managed to assist another forward in scoring a goal.

“ _Who knew…”_ Sunggyu pursed his lips, a surge of pride soaring through him at Woohyun’s performance.

That is until the second half, when Woohyun absently looked up into the stands and noticed Sunggyu sitting there and forgot to pay attention long enough for a ball to come flying into his face.

Sunggyu’s first reaction was to laugh because of the rather comedic way the ball hit Woohyun in the face. However when he realized Woohyun was lying on the floor for more than ten seconds and the other players stopped the game, he rushed from the bleachers.

§

After patching up the small bruise on Woohyun’s lip, the school nurse had to hurry to a meeting with the principal, leaving him alone in the nurse’s office. Sunggyu tried to be inconspicuous as possible as he waited outside the office until he saw the nurse run out. He watched her disappear down the hall before hesitantly opening the door. Woohyun was sitting on the edge of one of the beds and looked up when he heard the door creak. His expression instantly brightened when he saw that it was Sunggyu.

“Are you ok?” Sunggyu pulled a wheeled stool close to the bed across from Woohyun and sat on it. Woohyun nodded with a soft smile, until he felt the back of Sunggyu’s hand caressing his cheek. “Dummy…”

“You…” Woohyun looked down shyly. “You were watching my game?”

“Ah…” Sunggyu awkwardly retracted his hand and smiled sheepishly. “Uh…I just I don’t know…I guess…yeah I was. I mean I was just walking by so I thought why not…”

But then Woohyun was giving him the sparkly eyes and Sunggyu felt the need to shut him down before he started getting any ideas.

“A-Anyways,” He coughed. “Since you’re ok…” He stood up.

“Ah!” Woohyun clutched onto his sleeve. “You…you’re going?”

Sunggyu turned to him and quickly looked away. “Well yeah, since you’re fine—.”

“No wait I’m not fine actually.” Woohyun suddenly said.

“Really?” Sunggyu frowned and leaned down to inspect Woohyun’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“My lip still hurts hyung…” Woohyun had this mysterious twinkle in his eye as he spoke. “Maybe you should kiss it better—.”

“I’m leaving.”

§

A few minutes after Sunggyu left, Woohyun was getting up to leave, when Sungyeol burst in.

“Are you ok?” He blurted out with wide eyes. He was breathing hard like he ran all the way there. “I heard you were in the nurse’s office…”

Woohyun stared at him for a moment, taken off guard. “Ah…” He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I just…someone kicked a ball in my face…”

Sungyeol snorted. “Seriously?” Though it was clear he was relieved from the way he sighed softly.

“It was kind of my own fault since I wasn’t paying attention.” Woohyun admitted sheepishly. “But…what happened?”

“What do you mean what happened, stupid?” Sungyeol walked up to him, causing Woohyun to unconsciously take a step back. “I…I thought you got hurt or something so…”

Woohyun suddenly found the floor to be a rather interesting thing to stare at and he started to wonder if they always had those floor tiles when Sungyeol grabbed him by his shoulders.

Woohyun reluctantly looked up when he noticed Sungyeol’s face a few centimeters from his own and hurriedly tried to push him away.

“W-What’re you doing?” He murmured, looking around anxiously in case someone had seen them. But the look in Sungyeol’s eyes was almost predatory but at the same time there was a sense of vulnerability in them. “Sungyeol…” Woohyun sighed softly. “Listen, I—.”

“F-Forget it.” Sungyeol suddenly said and turned around. “I don’t…I don’t want to talk about it.”

“What do you mean you don’t want to talk about it? You…” Woohyun averted his eyes for a moment. “You _kissed_ me and…and you just want to completely ignore that it happened—?”

“Shut up!” Sungyeol snapped. “It…its not a big deal, ok? I just—I just wanted to see what it was like.”

Woohyun furrowed his eyebrows. “What it was like…? You mean to kiss a boy?”

Sungyeol hesitantly turned around to face him with flushed cheeks.

“What its like…t-to kiss you.”

 


	18. Teacher's Pet

Sunggyu decided that Woohyun was getting a little too shameless and _he_ was being a little too lenient lately. And he figured he should shut it down completely before Woohyun tried something or worse, he, himself lost his self control.

So that Saturday morning, he woke up extra early with his shields up, prepared to give Woohyun the cold shoulder. He even planned out what he would say if Woohyun wanted to cuddle or hug or kiss or anything.

“If you’re going to come here every Saturday, at least be productive and study…” He practiced his speech for Woohyun as he sat on the couch drinking his coffee. “Yes that’s good…and if he starts with those eyes…” Woohyun’s puppy eyes flashed through his mind and he sighed in a daze for a moment. “Ah…he looks so cute when he—NO!” He slapped his cheeks to snap himself out of his daze. “Don’t….just don’t look at him! Yeah that’s good…I just won’t look at him with those sparkly eyes or when he scrunches his pointy little nose or pouts those soft plush lips and makes that face that just makes me want to baby him—oh god this isn’t working out at all!” He stood up, pacing for a moment, before sighing heavily. “I can’t do this…I need a drink…”

But then he remembered it was 8am and probably not the most appropriate time to drown his problems in alcohol.

He checked his watch and it was already half past eight and Woohyun hadn’t come yet. Sunggyu looked to the door for a moment, scrunching up his nose in confusion. Woohyun was quite prompt and usually arrived at about eight every Saturday morning.

“ _I wonder if he’s ok…”_ Sunggyu picked up his phone and scrolled through his contacts, contemplating whether he should phone him. He was in the midst of sending a text message when there was a knock at the door.

He figured it was Woohyun and quickly forgot about his entire plan to give the boy the cold shoulder and raced to the door.

Woohyun was smiling sheepishly on the other side of the door.

“I’m sorry I’m late, I…I slept in.” He murmured and then chuckled weakly. “Ah…but I guess that’s better for you since you didn’t have to wake up so early—.”

Sunggyu suddenly pulled him into a hug that frankly, none of them were expecting. He was about to utter out something, like that he had missed Woohyun, but then he felt the boy’s hands pushing lightly at his chest. And only then did he realize Woohyun wasn’t returning his hug like he usually would’ve.

He immediately let go, face hot in embarrassment.

“Uh…” He pursed his lips. “I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to—.”

“Hyung,” Woohyun was staring at the floor for what seemed like an eternity for Sunggyu until the boy finally raised his head. “I…” Sunggyu only then noticed that Woohyun’s eyes were red and puffy from lack of sleep. “I—.”

“What happened?” Sunggyu frowned. “You look awful.”

“Gee thanks.” Woohyun snorted.

“Ah…n-no, I just meant,” Sunggyu coughed, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “You look like you didn’t sleep…or something.”

Woohyun sighed. “Sungyeol…I think he likes me.”

Sunggyu stared at him for a moment as Woohyun nervously met his gaze.

“What.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Haven’t we already established that?”

“That you’re mad at me?” Woohyun gasped.

“No! That Sungyeol likes you stupid!”

“What?” Woohyun blinked. “When?”

“Uh…” Sunggyu shot him an annoyed look. “Maybe when he _kissed_ you?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Woohyun scratched the back of his head, like he didn’t quite know how to accept the facts. “I mean…I’ve never kissed you but I still like you…”

Sunggyu didn’t say anything for a moment, but he could tell Woohyun was waiting for him to give him some kind of assurance about how he felt in return.

“Well…I guess that’s more because you won’t let me and not because I don’t want to…” Woohyun murmured under his breath, when Sunggyu remained silent.

“You…i-if you’re going to come here every Saturday at least be productive and study.” Sunggyu blurted out, and then immediately mentally slapped himself for remembering about his speech at the least appropriate time.

Woohyun looked as if he had been slapped by Sunggyu’s words and his lips formed a thin line. “…I get it.” He smiled bitterly. “I’ll…I guess I should go—.”

“N-No wait!” Sunggyu grabbed his arm. “…Don’t.”

Woohyun stared at him apprehensively. “What…what do you want me to do?”

Sunggyu pursed his lips for a moment, before sighing in surrender.

“Do…do whatever you want…”

§

Sunggyu sighed in frustration as Woohyun blissfully rubbed his cheek to the older man’s chest. Apparently what Woohyun “wanted” was to make Sunggyu lie down on the sofa so he could lie down on top of him—or more specifically so that he could lie on Sunggyu’s chest.

It was one of those times when Sunggyu had to pretend like he hated it but secretly was really, really enjoying it. But with every cute whimpery sound Woohyun made as he rubbed his cheek against Sunggyu’s chest, Sunggyu felt himself getting weaker.

“Hyung,” Woohyun hummed, as he traced a line on the sleeve of Sunggyu’s shirt with his finger. “I can’t believe you came to watch my soccer game the other day…”

Then he giggled—actual legit _giggled_. Sunggyu was pretty sure he was going to lose it.

“I….I was just in the area.” Sunggyu stammered. And then Woohyun giggled again in response and Sunggyu seriously couldn’t take it any longer and flipped their positions in an instant. Woohyun’s eyes were wide as he looked up at Sunggyu in a somewhat startled state.

“What…what’s wrong—?”

Sunggyu leaned his forehead into the sofa cushion beside Woohyun, and then Woohyun could feel Sunggyu’s voice softly in his ear.

“Please…stop.”

Woohyun bit his lip, managing to utter out a subdued apology.

§

Woohyun sat quietly on the sofa and watched Sunggyu making something in the kitchen. He gazed at Sunggyu’s back in a daze, his cheeks still warm from what had just happened. He had never seen Sunggyu so…so forceful like that, but at the same time his voice was so gentle it made Woohyun shudder.

“ _Ah…”_ Woohyun sighed softly. “ _I wish…he could be like that all time…I wish you could lose control hyung…just once.”_

§

It was a typical morning, and Woohyun was waiting outside of the classroom for class to start—or more specifically to be the first one to see Sunggyu before he went into the classroom.

He smiled to himself as he adjusted his red striped tie and his navy blazer, while he played out different scenarios and ways to greet Sunggyu. He wondered if Sunggyu would be wearing his button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing his forearms. But then again, Sunggyu only ever wore his shirt like that near the end of the day when he felt hot and tired and after he took off his blazer and loosened his tie. That was probably Woohyun’s favorite time of the day. He almost drooled at the mental picture when he felt a hand on his shoulder from behind. He instantly turned around and Sunggyu was standing there, slightly out of breath like he had just ran all the way there. His hair was ruffled and somewhat disheveled and he wasn’t wearing a tie and his light blue shirt wasn’t even buttoned up all the way (the top two buttons were undone, Woohyun observed very closely).

But that wasn’t all. Along his jawline and very faintly along his upper lip were traces of stubble. Apparently Sunggyu was running late that morning and hadn’t gotten a chance to put on a tie or even shave.

“What’re you doing out here?” There was a hint of a smile on Sunggyu’s face.

“I…” Woohyun gulped. He’d thought he’d seen it all. He’d believed he’d seen Sunggyu’s most attractive sides (and could barely contain himself during those times) but this was probably even worse—the worst it had ever been.

He might’ve drooled for real that time.

“Are you ok?” Sunggyu raised an eyebrow. “Woohyun-ah—?”

Woohyun whimpered softly in response. He really, _really_ didn’t want Sunggyu calling his name so softly with his ‘just woke up looking like sex’ look that he was apparently sporting. Or at least that’s what it looked like in Woohyun’s eyes. (The principal wasn’t so impressed, unfortunately and Sunggyu had to quickly shave in the school bathroom at lunch time.)

“I…” Woohyun stared at his shoes to regain some sense and remember all the words he had rehearsed in his head. However nothing would come out and Sunggyu had successfully made him tongue-tied without even doing anything. He kind of hated his teenager self in those ways. He didn’t want to be totally head over heels like a sappy lovesick puppy for Sunggyu. But….that’s exactly what he was.

Sunggyu leaned closer and lowered his voice to a hushed whisper.

“Were you waiting for me?” His eyes held some kind of humored sparkle in them and Woohyun kind of wanted to jump in a hole and never come out. But of course he couldn’t do that so he lowered his head and nodded shyly despite his intense embarrassment.

While Woohyun was busy feeling like the biggest loser in the world, Sunggyu was kind of losing his mind.

“ _So he really waited outside the classroom for me? He’s seriously such a puppy…”_ Sunggyu massaged his temples and sighed softly. “ _Ahhh…why…why is he so cute, damn it….”_

He hastily snapped himself out of his dreamy thoughts and cleared his throat.

“You…you should probably head in first so I won’t have to mark you as tardy.” Sunggyu tried to make a joke to lighten the atmosphere.

“I-If I’m tardy will you make me stay after school for private discipline?” Woohyun blurted out. Sunggyu was a bit taken a back by Woohyun’s sudden rather inappropriate question and merely blinked for a moment.

“…Y-You—.”

“I-I’m sorry, I’ll go!” Woohyun gasped and turned around and ran into the door before realizing he had to open it in order to enter the classroom. A stifled snort like sound escaped Sunggyu’s throat as he attempted to contain his amusement and Woohyun just felt his face become hotter in embarrassment.

The morning was not a pleasant one for Woohyun.

But the afternoon wasn’t much better.

He was sitting in the library with Myungsoo after school, studying for a test they had the next day. Well, Myungsoo was studying. Woohyun, on the other hand, was too busy thinking about how so very attractive Sunggyu looked that morning.

“ _Ah…”_ He bit his lip, trying to push away his fantasies about Sunggyu (one of which included Sunggyu spanking him with a ruler.) Needless to say he was having a very hard time in more ways than one.

That is until Myungsoo finally looked up from his book with a tired sigh.

“This is so boring…” Myungsoo yawned. “So where’s Sungyeol? Is he mad at us or something? Its like he keeps avoiding us…”

Woohyun averted his eyes for a moment. “I-I don’t know…”

Myungsoo hummed lazily and suddenly found an interest in sniffing Woohyun’s shoulder. Woohyun was used to Myungsoo’s odd behavior from time to time and didn’t really pay it any attention. Instead, he was thinking about Sungyeol. At some point, they would have to talk about what was happening between them—that is if Sungyeol stopped running away long enough to give him a chance to.

“You guys…” They both looked up to see Sungyeol standing there, backpack on, hands in his pockets.

“Ah,” Myungsoo grinned. “You’re finally—.”

“If…if there’s something you want to say to me, just say it now.” Sungyeol’s expression hardened. He looked tense and stiff, though in his eyes Woohyun could sense some worry. He was looking from Myungsoo to Woohyun, but then his eyes stopped on Woohyun and they had something of an awkward stare down until Sungyeol felt a hand on his shoulder.

“You kids better be studying well for the test tomorrow.”

Woohyun’s eyes brightened at the sight of his favorite teacher (and person in general) standing there.

Sungyeol bowed awkwardly to his teacher (who he was taller than). “Y-Yes Sunsaeng-nim…” He murmured.

Sunggyu smiled. “That’s good. Let me know if you need any help or if there’s something you don’t understand, ok? I have some work to do so I’ll be around for a bit.”

Woohyun’s eyes were sparkling and he didn’t really realize his lovesick gaze towards Sunggyu made him look rather stupid.

“Yes Sunsaeng-nim~” He nodded blissfully and had to control himself from giggling.

Sungyeol turned to him, sending him a weird look.

“What’s wrong with you? Are you sick or something?”

“Hm?” Woohyun blinked, still sending Sunggyu a glittery eyed half smile.

Sunggyu pursed his lips and looked away, wishing Woohyun wouldn’t be quite so obvious, but at the same time it was too damn adorable to resist.

“A-Anyways,” He cleared his throat. “I’ll uh…be over there.” He awkwardly gestured somewhere in the distance before stumbling away.

Sungyeol watched Sunggyu walk away, suspiciously.

“I don’t like that teacher…” He muttered as he took a seat across from his two friends. “He’s sketchy as fuck.”

“Really?” Myungsoo tilted his head. “I think he’s nice.”

Sungyeol eyed Woohyun intently. “What about _you_? What do you think about him?”

Woohyun looked up from smiling at his notebook. “Huh? Oh uh…he’s ok I guess. Just a normal teacher...” He laughed awkwardly. “A-Anyways, what’d you get for number 16?”

§

Myungsoo had to leave early to baby-sit his little brother, leaving Woohyun and Sungyeol sitting in the library alone together.

“So…” Woohyun cleared his throat, attempting to act as if everything wasn’t completely and totally uncomfortable between them. “Uh—.”

“Do you have a crush on our teacher?” Sungyeol suddenly asked.

Woohyun dropped his pencil, completely taken off guard. “Uh…” He chuckled, trying to sound as normal as he could. “W-What?”

“Is that…” Sungyeol looked down for a moment. “Why you…didn’t really…I mean with me…”

“W-Where would you even get such a crazy idea?” Woohyun choked, though his face was heating with color and his heart was racing. 

“Right so you giggle like a flirtatious idiot for just anyone?” Sungyeol snorted.

“H-Have you seen me?” Woohyun tried to shrug it off. “I’m like that most of the time...”

“This is different…” Sungyeol nodded. “I mean…” He folded his hands on the table. “If its true, I would understand—I mean not why you like him, he’s a total stiff. But why you rejected me.”

“I-I didn’t reject you.” Woohyun blurted out.

“Ok, but you don’t like me like that…” Sungyeol sighed. “I can tell that much.”

Woohyun bit his lip and looked away sheepishly. “…Sungyeol, I’m…I’m sorry—.”

“Why’re you sorry?” Sungyeol scoffed. “Its not your fault that you’re into old men.”

Woohyun’s cheeks reddened. “W-Wait, that’s—.”

“But you know,” Sungyeol leaned in on the table. “He’s probably already married, so even if you get older there isn’t much of a chance anyways, sorry to break it to you.”

“…A-Ah,” Woohyun rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, whilst catching a glimpse of Sunggyu talking to the librarian from the corner of his eye. “Y-Yeah, probably…”

§

After the two friends finished studying (or rather got bored and tired), they got up to leave when Woohyun stalled in his seat.

“Um Sungyeol,” Woohyun cleared his throat. “I’ll…you go ahead. I have to uh, to do something first.”

“Gonna wait for me to leave to hit on the teacher, huh?” Sungyeol snorted.

“W-What?” Woohyun choked. “I wasn’t—.”

“Uh uh…” The corner of Sungyeol’s lips curved. “Just remember, he’s probably married.”

Woohyun grinned. “Yeah, thanks I’ll try and remember that.” He played along and got up as he watched Sungyeol leave. “Ah, and Sungyeol,”

Sungyeol stopped and turned. “Hm?”

Woohyun smiled. “Thanks.”

It was Sungyeol’s turn to get embarrassed and his cheeks reddened. “F-For what stupid? I didn’t do anything…”

§

Sunggyu had graded every single essay and had even got started on next month’s lesson plan. He was so proud of how much he accomplished that he was just about ready to call it quits when he noticed a piece of paper being slipped under his elbow.

He looked up, absently running a hand through his hair. Woohyun was standing there sheepishly, appearing a bit mystified at Sunggyu’s shirt sleeves rolled up/disheveled hair, look.

“Uh, if you could read that…and maybe give me an answer?” Woohyun mumbled, gesturing to the piece of paper.

Sunggyu stared at Woohyun for a moment blankly before turning his attention to the piece of paper the boy had put on his desk.

**Gyu hyung!**

**Can I take you out on the best date of your life? (Circle one please~)**

  1. **Yes**
  2. **Yes (plus hugs are allowed)**
  3. **Yes (plus kisses are allowed)**



Sunggyu picked up a pen and added a fourth option.

  1. **No (plus kisses and hugs are not allowed)**



Woohyun’s heart sank upon reading Sunggyu’s answer but then he realized Sunggyu was subtly sending him an amused smile and he realized he was joking.

Then Sunggyu gestured him closer with a single finger and Woohyun leaned in.

“If you don’t come too early,” Sunggyu had that gravelly, tired afternoon voice that Woohyun couldn’t help but find incredibly sexy. “I might give you a reward.”

Woohyun almost stumbled backwards, face completely red, and he was pretty sure he was going to have some sort of heart problem that may possibly require a doctor to take a look. Woohyun knew Sunggyu probably meant that if he didn’t show up at his house so early in the morning and wake him up, then he would buy Woohyun an ice cream cone or something. But still the way Sunggyu had worded it sent Woohyun’s head spinning until he wasn’t quite sure how to stand up straight anymore.

Sometimes he wished he didn’t watch so much porn.


	19. Free

That Saturday morning, Woohyun arrived exactly an hour after he usually would so when he knocked on the front door, Sunggyu answered it, looking not as annoyed and like he had just woken up. Though he did seem a bit sleepy and yawned a bit as he watched Woohyun enter, gripping tightly to his backpack straps.

“Its good you said that yesterday you know?” Woohyun explained as he pulled off his backpack. “It was nice to sleep in~”

Sunggyu watched the boy remove his shoes and casually brush past him without so much as a look. Sunggyu couldn’t help but be disappointed as he still wasn’t really over the fact that Woohyun had stopped giving him warm good morning hugs.

“So for our date,” Woohyun began, completely dedicated to the cause. “I planned everything out and don’t worry you won’t have to pay because this time I—.”

Suddenly he felt two arms encircle his waist from behind and Sunggyu’s chin resting on his shoulder and he froze.

“You came later…” Sunggyu murmured, in a breathy, somewhat hoarse sounding morning voice along the shell of his ear. Then while still hugging Woohyun’s waist with one arm used the other hand to stroke Woohyun’s head. “Good boy.”

Woohyun bit his lip. “Uh…a-anyways…” He tried to find a way to get Sunggyu to let go of him without actually moving (though he really didn’t want him to). But any longer and he was probably going to make an embarrassing noise or worse turn around and try to go in for a kiss or something.

Thankfully Sunggyu finally released him, unfortunately he had temporarily forgotten about the concept of personal space and was standing a little too close to Woohyun and smiling humorously—their faces but a few inches apart. Woohyun awkwardly took a step back when Sunggyu obliviously grabbed his arm.

“Ah, so what’s this big date idea you had?” He asked, while his fingers remained wrapped rather firmly around Woohyun’s forearm. “Don’t tell me you broke open your piggy bank and are using that money to pay for today?”

Woohyun frowned. “You’re going to make me angry…”

Sunggyu couldn’t help a chuckle that he didn’t even bother to suppress, but it only irked Woohyun more.

“Why’re you laughing? I’m serious about this…”

Sunggyu ruffled up his hair. “Whatever you say~” Woohyun stood for a moment with his hair that Sunggyu had messed up as he watched the older man glide towards the kitchen. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like this at all.

He didn’t mind being someone that made people feel happy or cheered people up but the last thing he wanted to be was a joke or somebody who no one could ever take seriously. And right now it was clear Sunggyu wasn’t taking him seriously at all.

“Fine.” He muttered. “If that’s how it is, I’ll just leave—.”

“Oh by the way, my sister told me about this new ice cream place nearby that apparently has over 50 flavors or something.”

Woohyun’s ears perked up. “W-What? Ice cream…?”

Sunggyu turned, holding a fresh mug of coffee in his hands with a slight grin. “You wanna go?”

Woohyun pursed his lips, trying very hard to conceal the excited smile threatening to form. “W-Well…if you really want to I guess I could…”

“We could go after lunch…whatever that’ll be.”

“Ah, actually,” Woohyun clasped his hands together. “I was thinking we could go on a picnic.”

“Didn’t we already try that before with…not very good results?” Sunggyu sighed.

“What?” Woohyun’s face fell in disappointment. “You…you didn’t like Valentines day?”

Sunggyu rubbed the back of his neck. “Well…its not that, but come on, it was mostly just awkward and you got cake smashed in your face…”

“I didn’t mind the cake.” Woohyun shook his head stubbornly.

“That’s…not really the point is it?” Sunggyu folded his arms. “How about we do something else?”

Suddenly Woohyun gasped. “Ah! I have a better idea! A camping trip—.”

“No.” Sunggyu instantly rejected the idea. He knew Woohyun’s very obvious reasoning behind suggesting such a thing and he almost wanted to roll his eyes. He started to wonder if he was this obsessed with sex when he was Woohyun’s age.

“You didn’t even let me finish.” Woohyun pouted. “A camping trip indoors!”

Sunggyu stared at the boy blankly. “…A what?”

§

Naturally Sunggyu didn’t have a tent on hand, so Woohyun used a bed sheet and stretched it over the sofa to the coffee table. He grabbed a bunch of pillows from Sunggyu’s room and the couch and threw them in the space under the sheet.

“There!” Woohyun gestured to his makeshift tent. “Our campsite.”

Sunggyu crinkled his eyebrows. “Are you serious?”

“Come on! It’ll be fun~” Woohyun grinned and grabbed Sunggyu’s arm and pulled him underneath into the tent. Because the coffee table wasn’t very tall, the sheet was hung quite low and they had to crawl to fit under the ‘tent.’

They both ended up lying on their stomachs beside each other.

“…How is this fun?” Sunggyu groaned, his eyes closed, as if already ready to sleep. When he didn’t get a response, he opened one eye just a tad, then both eyes. Woohyun was no where to be seen. “…Woohyun?”

“Just wait there! I’m coming.” Woohyun called out from somewhere. Sunggyu had no idea what Woohyun’s plan was exactly, but if he could get a nap out of it, he wasn’t going to complain. He closed his eyes again and soon enough he was drifting off to sleep.

But then he heard some shuffling and clinking of plates and forced his eyes open again.

Woohyun was crawling inside with a small pot and a container of strawberries.

Sunggyu made a face. “What’s that?”

“Chocolate fondue!” Woohyun explained and then bit his lip. “I…I-I brought the ingredients because…I don’t know I thought it might be romantic.” He murmured the last part quietly enough that he wasn’t sure if Sunggyu had even heard him.

Apparently Sunggyu didn’t or at least didn’t make it seem like he did and picked out one of the strawberries from the bowl and took a bite out of it.

“Don’t you want some of the chocolate? Its supposed to be dessert…” Woohyun frowned. But then he suddenly remembered watching porn like this that had a similar dialogue. There was a man working in a bakery and asked what the customer wanted, and the customer told him something along the lines of “For dessert, I want you.”

(And then they proceeded to go at it on top of a mountain of crème puffs and cake which at the time to Woohyun seemed somewhat unfortunate because it looked like such a waste of food.)

Woohyun bit his lip, closing his eyes blissfully for a moment. There was no way Sunggyu would ever say anything like that, but at least it was nice to dream, he thought.

“For dessert,” Sunggyu suddenly said, causing Woohyun’s eyes to flash open in surprise and expectation. “Strawberries are just fine.” Sunggyu smiled rather innocently and happily helped himself to more from the bowl.

Woohyun’s shoulders slumped in disappointment. “ _What was I even expecting, this isn’t goddamn porn…get it together.”_ He tried to tell himself that but then Sunggyu bit into a strawberry and the red juices spilled from the corner of his mouth and he licked his lips and Woohyun hated everything.

“Are you ok?” Sunggyu grinned when he noticed Woohyun seemed to be spacing out. Woohyun nodded his head that he wasn’t but Sunggyu just laughed. “What happened, hm?”

“Nothing…” Woohyun muttered, rather bitterly and focused his attention on his chocolate fondue. He worked hard on it and wasn’t going to let it go to waste just because Sunggyu didn’t feel like eating it.

Sunggyu assumed he was just being a moody teenager and reached for another strawberry. Woohyun stupidly enough forgot to look at what he was doing because of Sunggyu and clumsily juggled the fondue stick with a chocolate dipped strawberry on the end until he accidentally flicked chocolate sauce on his face and the strawberry was on the floor.

“A-Ah…crap.” He mumbled and worriedly looked up at Sunggyu like a worried puppy awaiting a scolding.

But Sunggyu was instead looking at him in amusement. “You got some chocolate on your face.” Woohyun stared at him blankly for a moment before touching the clean side of his face. Sunggyu chuckled and crawled towards him but Woohyun suddenly got nervous and awkwardly crab-walked backwards, until his arms gave out and he slid, landing on his back with a soft thump. (He made a mental note to start working out his arms…a lot.) But any mental notes or thoughts at all were dissipated as soon as Sunggyu crawled closer and was soon hovering over him with the same amused smile.

“Woohyunnie,” His smile softened and his eyes were warm like little stars were sparkling in them and Woohyun was rendered breathless when the older man leaned closer. He could practically feel Sunggyu’s breath on his cheek and his body pressed right against his own and he was quite sure he was going to lose his mind.

It was too sudden. He wasn’t ready.

But at the same time slivers of heat were coursing through his veins and he felt this almost aching urge for Sunggyu to kiss him, to touch him, to hold him, to do more—anything and everything. He wanted Sunggyu to lose control completely and he wanted it to be with him and he realized he wanted it so much and right at that very single moment.

“W-Wait.” He suddenly blurted out and clamped his hands over his eyes. He didn’t want to be shy or bashful or to get embarrassed over his thoughts but he was basically a mess of all three of those things accompanied with the increasing feeling of arousal between his legs. “I-I’m not—.”

“Woohyun-ah…” He felt Sunggyu’s voice on the shell of his ear—so hot and deep he involuntarily shuddered. And then Sunggyu was taking Woohyun’s hands away from his face and Woohyun instantly curled them up into fists.

“Hyung…” He murmured weakly, squeezing his eyes shut. He refused to open his eyes, even when he felt his scrunched up hands being held to the floor on either side of his head. “This…i-isn’t—.” Suddenly he felt Sunggyu licking the chocolate off his cheek and he pressed his lips together tightly. He realized something: Sunggyu was teasing him. He had no idea why the hell kisses weren’t allowed but licking was, but he was certainly not going to question it in any way shape or form. Especially when he felt Sunggyu’s lips pressed to his cheek and then his teeth as he softly nibbled on Woohyun’s cheek. Woohyun wasn’t at all successful in suppressing a noisy whimper.

“H-Hyung…” He hated it, how he was almost panting, trembling—at how desperate he felt and sounded.

“Just cleaning off the chocolate.” Sunggyu licked the corner of his own lips in slight amusement. But seeing Woohyun’s glittery, half lidded eyes, how he bit down on his plump, irresistibly bitable lower lip, suddenly made Sunggyu want more than a nibble. He had this overpowering urge to bite Woohyun again, to bite him hard and elicit more of those adorable noisy whimpers from him. “Wait…” He lightly touched the faint pink mark on Woohyun’s cheek from where he had bitten him. “There’s…there a little more.”

He leaned in closer, they looked into each other’s eyes for a moment and Woohyun’s eyes were glassy and eager and somewhat needy and Sunggyu realized this was it.

He’d held on, _held back_ for so long, but this was too much. His self control had faded, and all that clouded his mind were thoughts of “ _Just one kiss…if its just one kiss…”_ But he knew in his mind and probably in Woohyun’s mind too that at that moment they both wanted much more than just a kiss.

But of course Woohyun’s phone had to vibrate rather loudly by the bowl of strawberries, suddenly snapping him out of his lust.

“W-Wait, its fine—!” Woohyun tried to say, but Sunggyu had immediately sat up in a panic. “Hyung—.” Woohyun reached for Sunggyu’s arm, but Sunggyu moved farther away.

“No…” He stared at the floor with a hardened expression. “A-Answer your phone.”

Woohyun stared at him, disappointment consuming him. “If…if I want it, isn’t it ok?”

Sunggyu didn’t say anything and continued his staring contest with the floor.

“Hyung—.”

“Woohyun.” Sunggyu interrupted in a stern, yet quiet voice. “Answer your phone.”

Woohyun reluctantly did as he was told. It was Myungsoo and he sighed as he answered it. “Yeah?”

“Finally you answered! Woohyun…its your grandma.”

§

Woohyun’s grandma, who had been staying at Woohyun’s house since his parents were away on business trips, had collapsed. Myungsoo, who had decided to drop by Woohyun’s house to visit, saw her collapsed in the front yard whilst in the middle of some gardening.

Sunggyu insisted on driving Woohyun to the hospital, because he was obviously in a panic and taking the bus would take much longer.

Once they arrived in the hospital parking lot, Woohyun murmured a thank you to Sunggyu for driving him there, unbuckled his seat belt and rushed inside. Sunggyu figured it wouldn’t be appropriate to come in with him, so he decided to wait outside and steered the car into a parking spot.

§

Woohyun rushed down the corridor towards the room that the secretary had told him his grandma was in. Myungsoo was sitting on a chair outside the room and quickly stood up as soon as he saw Woohyun running towards him.

“Woohyun—!”

“Is she ok?” Woohyun blurted out, eyes wide, panting hard. He hurriedly passed Myungsoo to push open the door when a doctor opened it from the other side.

“Hm? Are you the family of the patient?” The doctor asked as he adjusted his glasses.

“Yes! I’m her grandson!” Woohyun answered quickly. “D-Doctor…is she ok? What happened? Can I see her—?”

The doctor was silent for a moment as he pursed his lips. “Where are your parents? I think it would be best if I talked to them instead.”

Woohyun stared at him helplessly for a moment. “They…they’re out of town. It’s just me and my grandma. Y-You can tell me, I’m—.”

“I see, well don’t worry son your grandma will be fine.” The doctor told him, though Woohyun didn’t seem convinced one bit. “But perhaps it would be good to let your parents know about this? We’ve already contacted them as per your grandma’s request…”

“Could…” Woohyun bit his lip anxiously. “Could you tell me what happened?”

§

Sunggyu awkwardly paced near a bench outside the hospital. He wasn’t quite sure what he should do—if he should go in or not. He knew he shouldn’t—there was no way he could possibly explain why he, a teacher was coming to see how his student’s grandmother was. That was too suspicious he figured, but at the same time if Woohyun’s parents weren’t there and Woohyun was alone…well he didn’t like that thought either.

“Ah…sunsaeng-nim?” Sunggyu instantly looked up to see Myungsoo exiting the hospital through the sliding glass doors.

“O-Oh…Myungsoo!” Sunggyu awkwardly stumbled towards him. “What…what brings you here? I was here for a uh…an appointment…”

“Oh, I see….” Myungsoo nodded innocently. “Um well…Woohyun’s grandma collapsed, and well, I was the one who kind of found her…”

Sunggyu attempted to act surprised and though he was not the best actor, Myungsoo didn’t show any signs of being suspicious. “Is…is she ok? Do his parents know or….?”

Myungsoo nodded. “The doctor said she would be ok…” He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “I think Woohyunnie’s parents are away so…but he came after I called him just now and he’s in there with her.”

Sunggyu nodded. “Ah…ok.” He watched Myungsoo leave, apparently to bring something to eat for himself and Woohyun, since they were going to be staying at the hospital for a while. Sunggyu saw this as his chance to check on Woohyun.

He knew being alone was one of the hardest things for Woohyun. He just needed to check up on him—just to see if he was doing ok.

After getting the room number from the secretary at the front counter, he hesitantly made his way to Woohyun’s grandma’s room. The door was slightly ajar, and as he approached he spotted Woohyun—his back—as he faced his grandma’s bed. His shoulders were slumped and he was holding his sleeping grandma’s hand.

“I’m sorry grandma…” He heard Woohyun murmur softly, in a shaky voice. “I…I should’ve been at home with you…”

Sunggyu could already tell Woohyun was crying from his tone of voice. He clenched his fists for a moment, fighting the urge to rush in and comfort the boy. He knew he shouldn’t—he _shouldn’t_.

_“What the hell…I can’t even—I can’t even be there for him when he needs it…”_ Sunggyu thought bitterly as he leaned against the wall outside the room.

§

Sunggyu didn’t even realize that he had been sitting outside the hospital room for over half an hour when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He had dozed off and quickly snapped awake, looking around, drowsily.

Woohyun was standing in front of him, eyes swollen from his earlier private crying session. “Hyung…” He looked worried. “Why’re you still here? You should go home—.”

“Are your parents here yet?” Sunggyu yawned and sat up straight.

Woohyun hesitated for a moment before nodding. “They’ll get here tomorrow…my grandma’s going to stay overnight, and she’ll be released tomorrow.”

Sunggyu stood up. “Ok…I can drop you off at home—.”

“I don’t…I’m staying here.” Woohyun pursed his lips. “I’m staying with my grandma.”

“But,” Sunggyu frowned. “You can’t…stay here alone.”

“No, at home is where I’ll be alone.” Woohyun mumbled. “Anyways thanks again for driving me here today, please get home safely.” And at that he turned and went back into his grandma’s room.

§

Sunggyu tossed and turned all night and the next morning—Sunday—he couldn’t take it and got up and drove to the hospital. He found Woohyun in the empty corner of the hospital where the vending machines were. His shirt was slightly wrinkled from sleeping on the chair in the hospital room and his eyes were puffy and tired.

“Woohyun-ah…” Sunggyu hastily walked over to him and grabbed his arm. “Are you ok? You look awful…”

Woohyun gently pulled his arm away and nodded. “I’m fine but…what’re you doing here—?”

“Dummy, how can I just leave you here all alone?”

“I’m not alone, my grandma is here.” Woohyun frowned.

Sunggyu bit his lip. “…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be here.” Woohyun told him with concern lacing his expression. Sunggyu suddenly felt guilt in the pit of his stomach that even now Woohyun was still thinking about him and what was best for him.

“Who cares about that right now.” Sunggyu moved closer, holding Woohyun’s face in his hands. “Why wouldn’t I be here….?”

“Why…” Woohyun looked into his eyes with furrowed brows like there was something he wasn’t quite sure of and needed to confirm. “Why are you here?”

Sunggyu certainly didn’t expect such a question and snorted. “What kind of question is that?”

“No I mean…” Woohyun’s gaze fell for a moment. “What am I to you that….that you would come here like this? What….what are we even?” His voice was in between a shudder and almost sounded bitter. “That I…that I would abandon the things that are important to me and turn off my phone whenever I go to see you? What…what does that mean hyung? Maybe…maybe it shouldn’t be like that anymore?”

Sunggyu swallowed down the quickly forming lump in his throat. “…What…what are you saying so suddenly—?”

They were interrupted by the rapping of footsteps and around the corner they saw Woohyun’s parents rushing into his grandma’s room.

Woohyun turned to Sunggyu. “I…I should go.”

He silently left Sunggyu standing there in a somewhat anxious state.

§

Sunggyu figured he should probably leave but for some reason he couldn’t quite get himself to. So instead he lingered around long enough to observe the Nam family dynamics, or at least what he could overhear from a few feet outside the hospital room. Apparently Woohyun’s older brother had arrived from Europe and joined them in the hospital room. The atmosphere completely changed once he appeared like he was a breath of fresh air. Woohyun’s grandma finally sat up and for the first time in a while she smiled. Woohyun’s parents were all over their precious son they hadn’t seen in months. And Woohyun, well Woohyun was left to observe it all, as something of an outsider but at the same time not really. That was always his role in the family—the one who was kind of just always there, a contrast to the rest of his family members who came as frequently as they left.

It made Sunggyu realize something about the boy. The reason he always seemed to follow him around, the reason he never left first—he was always like that. He was always alone even though he never wanted to be, watching everyone else, and even though others were constantly skipping in and out, he decided to be the one who stayed—the constant in the lives of everyone else around him.

Sunggyu suddenly felt his stomach churn and his chest ache. “ _Crap_.”

§

That evening, he paced his living room, thoughts of Woohyun dwelling in his mind since that morning. He made a promise to himself to never make Woohyun feel like he was going to leave him. If no one else could do it, _he_ would be the one constant for Woohyun.

He was surprised when he heard the doorbell ring and was even more surprised when it was Woohyun on the other side of the door.

“Hey, what’re you doing here?” Sunggyu asked, worriedly as he let Woohyun in. “Are you ok? Is your grandma—?”

“Fine, its fine.” Woohyun stood awkwardly in the entrance way and Sunggyu noticed he wasn’t making any attempt to move forward or take off his shoes.

“You want to come in or….?”

“No.” Woohyun shook his head. “I…I just, I wanted to say—to say…g-goodbye.”

“Goodbye? Where’re you going?” Sunggyu tried to lighten the atmosphere, but Woohyun was dead serious and his eyes were already watering.

“I don’t…I don’t want to do this anymore.” Woohyun raised his head, biting his trembling lower lip. “I…I felt so useless—I’m a kid, a stupid useless kid and,” He swallowed. “I hate feeling like this…I want to be a support, I couldn’t even do anything for my grandma and—.”

“W-What were you supposed to do? That wasn’t your fault.” Sunggyu blurted out. “Woohyun-ah—.”

“Don’t you get it?" There were tears streaming down Woohyun’s cheeks. “I…I should’ve been at home with her, but instead…instead I was with you. I-Its not your fault hyung, its mine.” Woohyun’s voice had gone whispery and shaky. “I…I don’t even know anything about myself…I have no fucking clue what I’m going to do, how I’m going to take care of my family or myself or anything. And…and its so scary. But, b-but when I’m with you I forget about all of that, and I can’t, I can’t run away from my own life. I…I need to know who I am and I…right now I don’t know who that is.”

Sunggyu was completely taken off guard but at the same time, he knew exactly what he was going to say.

He nodded. “Ok.”

“Its suffocating…” Woohyun sniffled, his eyes showcasing perfectly just how much he was struggling. “Being like this, isn’t it like that for you too? All this hiding and lying and this…isn’t this just an escape? This isn’t what you need, and its not what I need either. This…this isn’t…love is supposed to be free isn’t it? This…this isn’t freedom.”

Sunggyu nodded again, swallowing down the emotions threatening to spill out. “Ok.”

“I…I want us to be free.” Woohyun told him through his tears. “I want you to be happy and…and I also want to be happy but…b-but…”

“Ok, I understand.” Sunggyu repeated, though his resolve was weakening and he could feel hot tears threatening to form behind his eyes. “If that’s what you want, you do it. You…y-you need to do what’s best for you…”

“But Hyung,” Woohyun whimpered. “Please don’t—.”

“Its fine.” Sunggyu choked. “I…I understand, please…go.”

§

The last few weeks of school felt bitter for both Sunggyu and Woohyun like a cold winter had dawned upon them despite the warm weather. Though they both made conscious efforts to continue on and despite having to see each other in class, they somehow managed to completely avoid each other outside of class.

Saturday mornings became the loneliest for Sunggyu. It took him a few weeks of waking up at seven at the morning to realize no one was waiting for him at the front door.

§

As soon as summer vacation arrived, Sungyeol and Woohyun said goodbye to Myungsoo for a few weeks as their friend hopped on a plane and made his way to Japan for his internship. And in those weeks, Sungyeol stumbled upon some volunteer work at a local children’s shelter and Woohyun found himself a summer job at the library.

There was another boy who worked at the library and he was friendly and funny and charismatic. Spending time with him was enjoyable for Woohyun and a good way to waste time at work and when Sungyeol wasn’t around. But there was always something missing, a hole in his heart he couldn’t quite fill, and an almost stifling loneliness.

Over time Woohyun realized something: Sunggyu was his first love. And the thing about first love was that it was like a scar—you can continue living, but you can never really completely forget and a part of that person will always be branded on your heart.

§

The new school year began and the three boys were now seniors. Sunggyu was thankful that not being Woohyun’s teacher anymore meant he didn’t have to see him anymore—or at least as much as before. He figured it would hurt too much, but one autumn day he happened upon Woohyun walking with two female students and he didn’t feel as much hurt as he thought he would. In fact he felt relief above everything else. Like there was a weight lifted from his shoulders, like he didn’t have to hide anymore. Of course he still felt this unexplainable aching need to hold Woohyun in his arms, but he also felt this sense of utter relief. It made him realize something: Woohyun was right.

They were alone, but they were both finally free.


End file.
